1. MY MOMMY 2. my monkey (see photos section!) 3. ~ Infinity? turning tricks for num nums & greenies, bowling, frisbee, football, jump roping, basketball, and most athletic endeavours, pawing open my treat cupboard and stealing stuff when no one is looking, learning guitar from michael, playing on see-saws with my mom, who's boobs alone are heavier than me thus i spend a lot of time in the air and hate it, chasing small children who think i'm too cute to be viscious, walking off leash, peeing on roses next to signs that say "do not touch", befriending homeless men who collect recyclables out of the garbage dump by my car... yeah Brian, it's all about "Freeeeedom dawg!", growling at gardners who stare longingly at my mom's you know whats, introducing hot, smart & sexy men to my mom using the wit and charm of cupid, beating up biscuit, my neighbor and ex-best friend, for making a mess after dry humping me, curling up on our faux bear rug in front of the fire, licking drips of meat juice from the george foreman grill off the floor, long romantic walks on the beach with my mom and her flavors of the week, or in most cases, year, licking seth awake from his naps because he was a tasty organic flavor, sneezing for uncle keegan who is way too easy to impress, loving brandon 24/7 (except when he sings the little little preston song), loving his son- my adopted bro- peppy, even more... being so damn cute that even people who say "i never liked small dogs!" can't help but freakin' adore me, booking every audition i go on cuz i know like 50 tricks, aka behaviours, kickin it on set making lots of money as a super model & actor, giving back to the community, feeding the homeless my leftover num nums, running in marathons with cancer victims and their families and my mom, hoping president bush and his entire family, administration, etc would have a tea party with bin laadan and be bombed, hiking up runyon and temescal canyon & being carried down cuz i am too precious to pant, picnics at the hollywood dog park, reflecting on life and how lucky i am to be me, peeing on my mom's head when i accidentally have wet dreams, making sweet love to my monkey- i think i said that, but he's just soooo good, rolling on my back so people caress my sexy belly, accidentally (not!) sticking my tongue in my mum's mouth, not caring who gets grossed out because to every ex-boyfriend who cried, "you love your dog more than me!" (yeah don't think you're the only one) haaaaaaa, it's true.
I'd like to meet:
who wouldn't i like to meet?! the chihuahua from the taco bell commercials, mr. winkle, benji's stunt double, and morris the cat, especially... also barack obama, he's my idol. YES WE CAN! and ellen degeneres, one of the most wonderfully powerful bitches on the planet! i don't discriminate though. im any-sexual... i love everyone i meet... old people, babies, kids, men, women, clowns, bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks, guppies, ladybugs... everyone BUT raccoons. I HATE RACCOONS... there was a coon couple making whoopee outside my balcony once~ it woke my mom and i up and scared the num nums out of us. speaking of the goddess who is the epicenter of my universe. i love my mom more than anything or anyone in the world... in a genuine, mother-son, yet romantic, husband-wife sort of way... and if there is a good man out there, worthy of becoming my father, i hope to find him here on mySpace, or perhaps in the "casual encounters" section of craigslist. as long as you are 1. not a reality tv star, 2. not an illegal immigrant, and 3. not married. u can never be too demanding these days~ with the abundance of quality men in america, especially here in la. i'm still wishing the "kiss a frog, find a prince" theory could apply to pomeranians... i've already met some of the coolest dawgs on earth~ leeroy, tillman, star and the kids competing for the title of GREATEST AMERICAN DOG. watch us battle it out on thursday nights @ 8pm, starting july 10th on CBS! and for all you canines in california, i hope to sniff you around town! please keep up with my bulletins, as i will be having the canine bash of the century for my birthday this september! thanks for all your continued love, licks and support... x, pres :)
I love to kiss my mom!
Music:
Sade, Barry White, Al Green, Dido, the Pippin Sountrack, Sarah Mglauchlin, Peter Gabriel, India Arie, Chris Isaak, Norah Jones, Serge Gainsbourg, Bridget Bardot, Mozart, Journey, Mazzy Star, Nick Drake, Bach, INXS, and of course, not to be conceited, me. I hate Baha Men with their "Who let the dogs out" poop... I'd like to put them on a leash tied to a fire hydrant for a few days, and make them listen to their crap song over and over. I live for "mood music", showtunes, and classical overtures. Oh yeah and that hot new band, That's My Daughter... I think I went gay too sometimes. It's nice to know someone understands.
Movies:
Delta Delta Die, Birthrite, & the new Ashlee Simpson blockbuster, UNDISCOVERED. WHY? Because I'm in ALL OF THEM... and I'm only 4 years old. I've done more movies than my age people! AND I'M A DOG. Soooo cool. Go check out my fine lil face in UNDISCOVERED... in theaters, NOW! And for those who are "over" Ashlee after the SNL episode, at least pay the $10, support Preston the Pom, watch the first 4 minutes of Undiscovered- I swear, I am in the beginning- playing a drop-dead gorgeous athlete hiking up Runyon... if you're not loving the movie by then, you can go see sneak into something else. But to be honest, Undiscovered is sooooo incredible. Unless you're a homo, which I am so that's sweet... why would you honestly want to stare at a 40 year old (male) virgin, or Vince Vaugn and Owen Wilson??? when you can oggle at Ashlee & the other hot chick who stars in my movies tits? Think about it folks.
Television:
The new Volkswagon Polo campaign. WHY? Because I am their international spokesdog. Seriously... the ad says, "I may be small, but I am SEXY." Rockin, yeah?! I would love the Animal Planet a bit more if they gave me my own show... for now, watch my handsomeness on CBS, pawing other canines for the title of GREATEST AMERICAN DOG!
Books:
My mom likes, "DOG TRAINING FOR DUMMIES". I personally like Walden, by Thoreau.
Heroes:
1) MY MOM 2) MY KIDS - the beautiful children @ Shriner's Hospital, Children's Hospital of Los Angeles, and Jonathan Jacques Children's Cancer Research Center... where I happily volunteer on the weekends, licking as many friends as possible! 3) ME- most humans, mammals, fish, stuffed animals, etc. aspire to be as incredible, i'm 100% pure inspiration!
