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All About Rob
For years, Rob Kleiner has dazzled us with his crazy keyboarding stunts and his madd insturmental skills.
Everyone knows Rob as the hyper-bunny keyboardist of the Chicago experimental rock band tUB rING, but there's a soft side to Rob, a MySpace loving side.
We're here to spread our love of Rob Kleiner and his amazing band tUB rING.
Enjoy. Ciao. Our ROB Section
.:Rob O-etry:.
"Rob Kleiner - I'm Taking You With Me"
by: Amber R.
I met a man once,
A man that could jump,
He was in this band,
Give him a hand,
He doesn't need it though,
But you're awfully nice,
To help that crazy fool,
With a heart like a jewel.
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
Don't you jump from up there,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
Please, don't you dare,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
We love you, we'll miss you,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
Dude, you've got issues.
Mr. K is a multi-talented man,
In films, movies, and TV,
But what he lacks the most,
Is a hand to squeeze,
I'll be your bumble-bear,
If you'll be my pumpkin,
We'll skip into the sunset,
Away from all these whities,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
Come visit us soon,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
Our Glass City waits for you,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
The apple of my eye,
Rob Kleiner, Rob Kleiner,
I'll love you until I die.
"Rob Kleiner - Date A Fat Chick"
by: Amber R.
Rob Kleiner knows the truth,
Rob Kleiner knows it all,
The truth about Rockstars,
Is nothing but wrong,
They date pretty girls,
Girls who have it all,
They have blonde hair, straight teeth,
Only 5 feet tall,
Skinny, skinny girls,
No brains to behold,
Rockstars only want,
A tight, pretty hol-
WAIT!
Rob Kleiner is a man,
Rob Kleiner has it all,
Rob Kleiner is a Rockstar,
Well-over 5 feet tall,
Rob Kleiner has a mission,
Only thing to prove to us all,
Rob Kleiner break the myth,
And amaze us all.
Date a fat chick,
Date a fat chick,
As big as a whale,
Rob Kleiner, date a fat chick,
Amber's open for a date,
Take her to Home Town Buffet,
Unleash her on the trays.
Rob Kleiner is a man,
Rob Kleiner has it all,
Why not add 300 pounds to your haul.
Rob Kleiner ate a baby,
Rob Kleiner remembers lunch,
Why not date a fat chick,
And brag to the tUB rING bunch.
Rob Kleiner - The Legend Killer.
ROB KLEINER FUN FACTS:
by: Brayce
There isn’t a piece of glass Rob can’t break.
Rob doesn’t eat at the dinner table.
Rob's enchanting musk cannot be clouded by any perfume.
Darth Vader isn’t Rob.
Rob throws grapefruit at the elderly.
No matter how much Rob drinks, he’ll never get drunk.
You’ll pay the price for not being as buff as Rob.
At weddings, Rob throws barbells instead of rice.
John Stamos isn’t Rob.
William….. Shattner…. Was…. punched by Rob for …..talking …..so… stupid.
Rob doesn’t have to use ketchup with fried potatoes.
There isn’t a bar that Rob can’t bend.
Rob only has women cook his food.
Rob is buff with shirts on.
Rob is buff with out a shirt.
Rob can punch people at random and no one can do a thing about it.
Rob is proof that a higher power wants us all to be buff.
You can’t Rock like Rob.
No matter how much you tell your Girlfriend to stay away from Rob, she’ll always come back for more of his lovin’.
Rob films every woman he sleeps with, that means your mom is already on tape.
Have you slept with your sister? Rob sure has,… several times.
Rob can sell pop-cycles to an Eskimo.
Rob has been all over the USA.
Rob has already beaten up your uncle.
Rob didn’t sue napster.
Rob can run through water and not get wet.
Rob dont use a remote to turn on a TV.
Paper is always thinner when Rob writes on it.
Rob doesn’t slip on wet floors.
Glass breaks when Rob does push-ups.
Mothers weap when Rob punches the air.
Birds fall from the sky when Rob puts on boots.
Rob bathes in Bar-B-Q sauce.
Every picture is better when Rob is in it.
Your mom isn’t Rob.
Your dad isn’t Rob.
Rob has made every womans face look like a toaster struddle.
Rob made your mom a woman.
Rob made your sister a woman.
Rob made your father scream like a woman.
Rob will make you scream like a deaf woman.
Rob should be able to impregnate every woman.
Rob can eat spicy foods.
A female cannot be called a woman until Rob has made her one.
Rob NEVER pulls out or uses condoms.