A. Two and a half |
Q. How wide is your nose?Q. How long can you hold your breath?Q. How many years since my last kiss?Q. What is the number of times I had to flush this morning?Q. In how many weeks will my sister b...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Tue, 16 Oct 2007 12:23:00 PST |
Lisa Lampinelli Loves Kobe Bryant |
Just ask her.What do you think makes preparing food actually "cooking"? I know that you don't "cook" Campbells soup. So I'm guessing that adding water doesn't equal cooking. So you can't "cook" ora...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 03:55:00 PST |
Like shooting an AK-47 at a gaggle/swarm/horde of platypuses |
...totally random. You just gotta yank the trigger and wave it around. Much like the assanine thoughts to follow.Ratatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatatat! Anyone remember that MC Hammer had an...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Mon, 20 Aug 2007 12:10:00 PST |
Pee Police |
A friend posed a question to me today: Why is the mens' bathroom ALWAYS so much dirtier/smellier than the womens' when more women pee more often and it's also used by kids? My response was that women...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Tue, 17 Jul 2007 09:38:00 PST |
Heh, heh, FIRE! FIRE! Heh, heh! |
Unlike some stars I know, I'm literally setting the world on fire. A while ago I was making a steak in the oven. Just like my g-ma taught me, I put it in a tin-foil tray on a cookie sheet and put it...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:02:00 PST |
Two Bits |
I'm all about being a nice guy, but people have to try to be cool too. Case in point: I'm at the zoo and I see this guy ask this lady if he could HAVE some quarters for the meter. He might've asked ...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 09:26:00 PST |
Sheer Genius |
And I don't mean Jessica Biel's legs in pantyhose... I have no idea how these songwriters can fit so many ideas into their words into their lines. Double meanings, intricate rhymes, consonance (not ...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Sat, 02 Jun 2007 12:38:00 PST |
To all... |
...all you no-life sad sacks who keep asking me to be your friend because you put up a scantily clad picture, PLEASE CUT IT THE FUCK OUT! I'll bet you're the type of people who wish you could be on m...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Thu, 31 May 2007 10:45:00 PST |
It's not WHAT you said but HOW you said it! |
1. My friend thought that her spare tire was ONLY A TIRE! "How do you attach it to the metal?" she asked! Oh, there's an extra metal in there already!2. Watching the girls' basketball championship...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Thu, 31 May 2007 10:31:00 PST |
Holy Moly |
Some people believe there are no such things as coincidences. Maybe so. Who knows? I've been trying to write music, you know, just because... The title of my song, well, the chorus anyway, was "It...
Posted by Dr. Acula on Fri, 04 May 2007 12:01:00 PST |
