attending scented candle parties (and choosing lavender), reading Home Journal, tending to my sheep, 9 dogs, and 7 alleycats, buying pink t-shirts and blasting small animals, hosting salmon and wine parties, growing chrysanthemums, figure skating, anything tan and taupe, tying myself up with scarves (if you know what I mean), shooting ducks and making videos of me stuffin 'em good, packaging fudge at my factory, growing corn, strangling chickens and boiling them for my nasty ass dogs to eat, watching Kevin Federline videos, hanging out in my pick up truck with mom next door
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Alabama's Greatest Hits, Some Redneck Shot My Goddamn Dog, Garth Brooks, Get 'er Done, The Strokes, Michael Jackson (especially Beatin' It), Hootie and The Blowfish, The Village People, and Celine Dion.
Top Gun, Troy, Danny Does Derek, The Bearded Man Beneath the Covers, Brokeback Mountain, 7 Years in Tibet, Miss Congeniality - Armed and Fabulous, Fucked on the Farm, Total Eclipse, The Lake House, The Douche in the Bag, Evita, Deep Throat, Wilbur the Movie, Gerbil Bandits, You've Got Mail, and Herbie Fully Loaded
Martha Stewart, Squirrel Hunting Live, How to be a Shepherd, The View, License to Grill, Cock Tales because I watch that anytime I really wanna see some dick, Duck Blasting: The Series, Slow but Special, Freaky on the Farm, and My Family Tree Don't Branch. Sometimes I watch The Bachelor: Rome.
I enjoy reading "Tractors and Trailers", "Learning to Branch", "Choking and Chugging","Ya Ya Sisters and the Traveling Pants", "Cutlery and Cassanovas", "Gym Socks and Their Multiple Uses", "The Raging Rainbow", "Big-Headed Beasts", The Biography of Tom Cruise", "Backdoor Encounters", "What Makes Stewart Squeal", "Scott Peterson: The True Story", "Choking: When the Fun Stops. I also enjoy reading "Bacon-Making" whenever I'm not wacking it to "Farming: Monthly". Aside from that, I also like "Soap Dropping in South Central", and "How to Broil Salmon".
Brian Boitano