carnie profile picture

carnie

I'm a believer.

About Me

i'm a vet student and a taxidermist. i'm quiet & well-mannered. i'm often neurotic. i have a filthy sense of humor and a mouth to match. i don't do drugs or pilates, own a black studded belt or a "fixie". i can't tell you the difference between kitsch and camp, and i don't want anyone to tell me. i'm also incapable of taking most things seriously.
however, i can drink your girlfriend under the table, pushstart a vw, chase down and paint angry rodents, and hold a grudge like nobody's business.
i want people to think i have a tiny angry tiger inside of me...
you have ninja? your ninja have belt? bwack belt? ah so...i'm building an army of ninja.

My Interests

French culture:
Le Monsieur me laisse par son acte con, J'ordonne l'abscisse mais cela reste abscons. J'ai un esprit sain dans un corps tres sain Je fais le bien mais il est alle voir plus loin
J'en garde des sequelles mais je sais qu'il sait Que le silence est d'or, est d'or, mais je ne peux pas je me taire.
Das Shittens: Bijou, Monster, Tonks, and all my frenetic fosters
Wildlife: Dead or Alive
Scars: Intentional and Accidental
Catching Squirrels: I haven't failed yet

I'd like to meet:

people who can keep promises, people who are as honest with themselves as they are with everyone else, people who aren't consumed by a label, people who can make a distinction between what they do and who they are, people who realize that loving someone for what they do instead of who they are is shameful, people who don't confuse their personality with their sexuality, people who are sick of body suspensions, people who admire doctors more than body piercers, people who can appreciate irony, people who know more than i do, people who aren't afraid to shut up, people who don't wear deoderant on principle, people who put pepper on everything, people who can love a taxidermied parrot as much as a live one, people who don't care where i'm from or what i do or what i have pierced or if it hurt, people who can dance the hully gully (on the panama canal), people who don't believe that anything worth having is worth cheating for, people who actually have mob connections, people who act just as much as they speak, people who can stand alone, people who forgive but never forget, people who aren't afraid to pour gas on the fire.

Music:

NPR

Movies:

Anything French, animated, or Troma.

Television:

Law & Order, Gilmore Girls, Family Guy, Invader Zim, The Brak Show, Spongebob Squarepants, Top Chef, The Office, Scrubs, Ace of Cakes, Mythbusters.

Books:

All of them.

Heroes:

Peter Singer, Eugenie Clark, Marguerite de Valois, Marguerite Duras, Sue Coe, and my teachers Karen Bouwer, Scott Nunes, Jennifer Dever, Doug Wortham, Christine Jones, Linda Chaimberlain, Peter Hayes, and Karen Quackenbush.

My Blog

San Francisco debauchery

Thursday, July 26th: Get into SF around 10pm and go to club DNA. Help suspend Nick & Seth during DNA's M.E.A.T show. Crash out on Gary & Susie's floor.Friday, July 27th: Hang out during brandi...
Posted by carnie on Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:47:00 PST

...and for a moment, it was Armageddon.

this was too funny not to repost ;)H2Omen:When the bulletin is posted on myspace And the blog view count is highAnd the APP Board rises Then H2Ocean must cryFrom the eternal sea she risesCreating ar...
Posted by carnie on Sun, 01 Jul 2007 01:22:00 PST

Response to STTP Re: H2Ocean

Before I delve into my response the STTP's "analysis" of the original letter, I would like to point out a few facts to the reader:A. Though H2Ocean refers to the authors of this paper as a "third par...
Posted by carnie on Sat, 30 Jun 2007 07:06:00 PST

Dear APP...

As you may have noticed, the "Dear APP" letter has been taken down.H2Ocean initially "welcomed" our invitation to discuss their aftercare products. When they couldn't refute the claims that were made...
Posted by carnie on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 05:47:00 PST

Alternate Sources for "Dear APP" article...

this is the alternate works cited page for the letter. while the original sources appear next to the bracketed numbers, alternate sources that provide the same information are listed below. these cit...
Posted by carnie on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 05:59:00 PST

My Response To H2Ocean - Read the Bottom!

Though the bulk of this letter may be uninteresting to many readers, pay close attention to the bottom, where H2ocean gets caught in their own lies. They invent a personality (Joe) who argues for the...
Posted by carnie on Thu, 21 Jun 2007 08:00:00 PST

I love you, but you're...

Birds are singing in the treesAs we rise up on a beautiful morningBut I can't hearThat beautiful soundBecause I'm permanently yawningWhat about the time of the fancy dressWhen you came dressed as your...
Posted by carnie on Sun, 27 May 2007 10:46:00 PST

My Obituary

"She loved animals and car rides. A strong drink now and again.  Natalie was never a fan of whore faces."   Thanks Annie, I owe you one! And get me that bus schedule when you have a chance? ...
Posted by carnie on Sat, 04 Nov 2006 08:46:00 PST

dateability...

1. Dude looks like a lady. How about you? um, i'm female, but i've never been accused of being a lady. 2. Have you ever fantasized about getting yourself cloned (either a same sex o...
Posted by carnie on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 01:22:00 PST

the love test!

1. The first time you laid eyes on that special someone, you...? probably acted like a jackass. 2. When you talk to your crush, you tend to...? touch myself. 3. What do y...
Posted by carnie on Mon, 30 Jan 2006 11:24:00 PST