Richard Portnow

My given name is Richard, but you can call me Rachmann Al Hassid.
I was born in LuchenspeilengutenblimitzstrassereI, but soon emigrated to Indoneisia and was raised on a mayonaise farm. I was a troubled youngster and spent many years at the Warwick Reformatory for Wayward Youth. At Warwick I was abused, degraded, and assigned the job of "Towel Boy" in the institution's lavatory. It was aound this time that I had an epiphany while being gang raped BY THE ZaZa brothers and Tarik "Big Mongo" Washington-Jefferson. During my raping, The ZaZa brothes had me dress like a teenage girl. As I recall they had cut the back pockets off of my too tight jeans, secured a bright pink tube top for me to wear, and put my hair in a Mary Tyler Moore flip. The make up I applied was a look I had been cultivating since my first day in the Big House. I quickly realized that I had a natural gift for impersonation. I thusly discovered my destiny and found the life path I was meant to take.
I offered my mind and body to the rest of the prison population for pennies and nickels. It took me many years to raise the tarrif for a voyage to America, buy raise it I did. I traveled as cargo and was left emaciated and debilitated by the journey. Broken and devasted by lice and disease, I got to the states. I immediately enrolled in and was accepted at Brooklyn College and graduated with a bachelor of arts as a speech and theater major. I did not shine while in college and was discouraged from continuing as an actor with the advice that I was "hopeless and without any ability or talent". I continue to wonder if the faculty was right. I am 6 feet tall, weigh in at a trim 180 lbs and am extremely well endowed. I am one of the few men who have been gifted with the unique talent of being able to engage in self fulfilled fellatio. I remain athletic and to this day I continue to box. I have excellent defensive skills and my ability to stop punches with my face has made me a local favorite.
I reside in New York and Los Angeles with my feisty English Cocker Spaniel, "HeyBoy" and my Chow/German Shepherd, "Sweetie". I am an avid collector of Americana from the 1940s and 1950s, with special focus on the original oil paintings created for the Pulp magazine covers of the 1930's and 40's.
I drool when I'm having sex. I have been mauled by an enraged dwarf. I have a gun fetish and a drug problem. I have been arrested and have served time for assault.
I find prison to be a relaxing place.