Elevator surfing, sticking light bulbs in the goddamn microwave, running tinfoil through the printer, shitting my pants at the Blue Frog, getting ass-blood on my toga, Escaping the MegaStatic, Veal Parmigian, Lamb Vindaloo (very spicy), sleeping in the mid-day sun, drinking in the early afternoon (usually around 2-ish), revenge, bondage photography, sharpshooting, motorcycles, cheap laughs, medical/crimescene photography, crossdressing, LSD, magic mushrooms, metamucil, hot tubs, phony phone calls, remote viewing, Vulcan mind-meld, sundrenched Italian neorealism, barbecue and champagne, school uniforms, candles, stained glass, penance, handjobs in the confessional booth, getting wasted on the sacramental wine, skimming the collection plate to take girls out on dates, cunnilingus, the occult, white cotton panties, discipline
I'd like to meet:
Bon Vivants, debutantes, and dilletantes, latter-day flappers and good-time gals, libertines and wastrels, damsels-in-distress, Catholics, card-counters, nomads, Friends of P, post-punk nerd girls, Republicans, Tomorrow People, cyborgs, dandies, queers, folkies, and models.
PLUS:
Tuesday Weld (cir. 1959), Louise Brooks (deceased), Lynne Ramsay (film director, Scottish), Lou Reed (American rock star, b. 1942), Lana Lang on Smallville (fictional), Amanda (from The Ditty Bops...hello, darling!), Dov Charney (founder, American Apparel), Stephen Jones/Babybird (British), some old friends (incidental).
Music:
Babybird, Gaktupus, The Rentals, Prince, John Cale, Antony and The Johnsons, John Frusciante, Phil Spector, The Langley Schools Music Project, Coil, Velvet Underground/Lou Reed, Magnetic Fields, This Mortal Coil, David Holmes, Bill Holt, Houston Cassettes, R.E.M., Peter Gabriel, Luke Haines/The Auteurs/Black Box Recorder, Passengers/Brian Eno, New Order, The Flaming Lips, The Flaming Stars, T REX, GBV, MBV, ELO, Kool Keith, Madonna, Television Personalities, Spiritualized, Tindersticks, Chris Isaak, Doktor Kosmos, Arthur Russell, Country Teasers, Sparks, No Doctors, Dump...I've also been known to say "yes" to Yes.
And yeah, I'm finally out of the closet on the whole Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs thing. I'm like, a HUGE FAN and I don't care what anyone thinks. Same goes for Tegan and Sara, The Ditty Bops, Ivy, and That Dog. Go ahead, laugh it all up. I'm not ashamed anymore!
Movies:
Repo Man, The Passenger, Borat, Vanishing Point, The Reflecting Skin, Little Murders, Hellraiser, Hellbound: Hellraiser II, The Loss of Sexual Innocence, Cruising, Madonna: Truth or Dare, The Princess Diaries, Freddy Got Fingered, The American Astronaut, Reflections of Evil, My Own Private Idaho, Bloodsucking Freaks, Ken Park, Being There, The Aviator, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai, Pump Up the Volume, Trouble Every Day, Fat Girl, JFK (over and over again), Five Easy Pieces, Easy Rider, 2001, THX 1138, Bill Smith Hates Somebody, sex lies and videotape, Natural Born Killers, The Last Picture Show, anything by Andrew Blake, Cipri and Maresco, or RW Fassbinder, and R. Kelly's Trapped In The Closet
Television:
X-Files, The Twilight Zone, Smallville, Sopranos, Home Movies, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld, South Park, 24, The Tick, Kids in the Hall, Eerie Indiana, Highlander, Star Trek, The Munsters, TV Funhouse, Profit, Dr. Phil, LazyTown, Jackass, Twin Peaks, McLaughlin Group, Lizzie McGuire, My Super Sweet 16, 90210, Jerry Springer, When Animals Attack, Renegade
Books:
The Call of the Wild, The Stranger, Shock Value, The Mutant King, Caligula: Divine Carnage, The Book of Lies, Dispatches, Crash, Touching From a Distance, Head On, Be Here Now, Howard Stern's Miss America, Frankenstein, I am Legend, Where the Wild Things Are, The Tetherballs of Bougainville, Spitz and Fisher's Medicolegal Investigation of Death, Herzog on Herzog, My Dark Places, The Unlimited Dream Company, Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung, Killer on the Road, The Doofus Omnibus
Heroes:
Bill Clinton, Yves Klein, Shaun Hennion, Joe Pasciscia, Joe Spanos, The Hulk, Howard Stern, Sam Shepard AND Chuck Yeagher, John McEnroe, Peter Milligan, Al Columbia, Brian Eno, Jack Parsons, Rod Serling, Alex Ross, Ben Franklin, Albert Fish, Robin Williams, Harry Houdini, Jar Jar Binks, Vincent Gallo, Michael J. Fox, Dylan McKay, Ray and Janice (my folks), John Allen, Johnny Gray (RIP), Claudia Campbell, Carole Chandler, James Joyce, John Waters, Napoleon Bonaparte, Heliogabalus, Rimbaud, Bowie, and other fellow avatars of Horus: the Lord of Force and Fire, the Crowned and Conquering Child, as well as anyone I've ever slept with, tried to sleep with, or wanted to sleep with...hats off, ladies!
