Cheese were formed by accident in 1994 or thereabouts, to give us all something to do in between lagers. I (me) had accidentally written some songs and felt the need to wash them out of the hair I still had at the time, and thankfully I was able to call upon my equally hirsute compatriots Rich (guitar), Chris (drums) and Steve (bass) to add flesh, blood and guts to the blanched bones I had assembled like a pyre of old Twiglets.
We accidentally began rehearsals underneath a clothes rail festooned with florid (and horrid) shirts, and accidentally made our debut in a blaze of diarrhoea about four seconds later, it seemed. Vaguely traumatised, I went home and put my guitar under the bed, vowing never to touch it again until the following morning.
Convinced that no one was listening, we gigged fitfully thereafter under cover of darkness. Rich helped to beget the magnificent Lucky Bishops, Chris and myself kept the wolf directly outside the door with Elmer Fudd and Steve went to London like Dick Whittington, returning some years later with some magic beans and a lovely wife. Steve's enormous Cheese hole was plugged in no uncertain terms by Al, fellow traveller in Elmer Fudd and my very pal since time immaterial.
A stack of demo tapes were accumulated and roughly stashed under the same long-suffering bed where I stashed my guitar a couple of paragraphs ago, where they would have languished forever (or until I bought a new bed) had it not been for the sterling efforts of Pink Hedgehog label godhead Simon Felton, who patiently convinced me that the stuff might perhaps be deserving of a wider audience than the slippers, flippers, Old Moore's Almanacs and Razzles which I kept under my now mythic bed.
Lo and behold, two albums have somehow resulted and people have said some very sweet things about them, which brings me great joy as I swivel my bathchair to catch the last rays of the setting sun. Another album may well come along during my lifespan - I do hope so - but for the moment I'm devoting my limited energies towards pretending to be Syd Barrett with Gothic Chicken. So, watch this space... as long as your eyes don't tire easily.
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