Left handed jane

I'm goofy...
There is a fundamental contradiction or opposition at the core of me.
I exceed logic and reasoning.
I allow myself to be guided by irrational phenomenon.
Giving is a way to escape from myself.
I still maintain an objective lucid manner.
I vacillate between two poles. One maybe elitist, almost snobbish; the other is more earthy, vulgar or brutal even.
I seek tight bonds with others but rarily let them come to fruition.
I almost always express my energy on an immediate basis.
I secretly want stability but it always eludes me.
My ambition will always overpower my emotion.
In my current relationship, nagging feelings of insecurity prevent me from expressing my generosity and love fully; and my extreme independence sometimes hides an inability to abandon myself.
I judge myself severly.
I tend to be free and uninhibited in my relations with other people, rarely allowing myself to be influenced by convention or prevailing opinion; I associate with whomever I please.
I prefer fantasy to reality.
I have an inalienable awareness of the void and the vanity of existence.
I am sometimes aghast at the discovery of the sheer power of my instincts, and feel an imperious need to cope with them.
Being accepted and respected makes me tactful and diplomatic, however it is not essential for me to exist.
I have a voracious intellectual capacity although it lacks structure and discipline.
I am utterly preoccupied by details.
I tend to be a rather excessive and tormented partner, I often re-evaluate the bonds that connect me to my partners.
I love reaching out and making discoveries.
I express my thoughts and ideas in spontaneous outbursts.
I am subject to recklessness.
I am high strung and cannot focus on one topic for too long.
I have trouble organizing my thought processes and making commitments. The concepts of boundary and structure are inimical to my mind, and thus my thoughts may be verbally indeterminate, vague, and ill defined at times. I may display a kind of absent-mindedness, out of a fear of annoying people with my perceptions.
My imagination sometimes escapes from the confines of logic.
I am prone to behave impulsively and make mistakes in judgment as a result.
I always want to improve and transform myself.
I am more cross-disciplinary than specialistic, and my center of interests are fairly widespread and varied.
I lack team spirit.
I crave security but can not compromise my free spirit.
I rarely lose sight of the utilitarian aspect of things.
I am inclined to arrange, classify, sort, catalogue, and compartmentalize, in all my life activities as well as my work.
I continually need excitement and action.
I am fluctuating and faithless but not without fail.I ALWAYS SEEM TO BE HAVING A MOMENT *AHEM* THANKS..... Somewhere sprawled out on a narrowly bound parimeter, possibly hidden beyond the scope of objectivity, lies a once listless single abstract preoccupationalist, she bore the ephemeral nameless psuedo "x" as a signature, not quite an epitaph as the idealistic musings are not those of past tense brooding, but, of hopeful regard, inspirited to bring a designation of value to the aninimity of what was once embryonic and what now has become the burgeoning of any given soul(s) as it may seem, ....an empty obligation for those who can not find or attempt to find that point in which everything connects, and on any given Wednesday, Thursday or Monday even, is it not those who march full point to connect in real continuance to all the grandure of our devotedly ironic, lustful existance, who end and begin at the same mark or is those who persue with the gravity to do so with one whom it can be shared and adored with that contain themselves in a blissful circle of exclusive fluidity?