Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann profile picture

Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann

Lust, madness & switchblades

About Me

Video producer of infamous Thrush TV and writer, surfer, martial artist, connoisseur wanna-be.Professional sensualist and occasional rage queen, prone to bouts of Carrie-like psychic outbursts.Practicing street witch.Lover of movies - good and bad, wine - only good, chocolatey things, dangerous and funny boys. And Valium.Seeker of kindred spirits and soul mates. If neither, kind mates for drinking red spirits will do.Underworld usher, desperately trying to stay out of the corporate structure. Meetings make me sick. But the underworld ain't what it used to be either.Humble lover of nature and animals.Occasionally quiet and boring librarian-type with mild addiction to porn and "time alone."

My Interests

Tiny bubbles, shiny objects. Occasionally sharp things. Dark areas that are scary but lightable.

I'd like to meet:

Beth Mann, Elton John (from the 70's, not the current one), Cesar Milan, Edgar Allan Poe, Pete Townsend, Ricky Gervais, David Walliams from Little Britain, Andy Sturmer, any of my good, old friends (they actually get top billing), Jesus (for novelty's sake...and cause I think he'd be really, really nice), Judy Garland, Tyrone Power, me as a child, my old collie Misty and my old cat Kitty. I'd like to meet a ghost or a fairy but on my own terms. I'd like to meet one of those crazy Vikings that worked themselves into a frenzy before going into battle...what were they called? Berzerkers...that might be interesting for a moment or two. And Bruce Lee. And Freddie Mercury. Maybe Barbara Streisand if she'd behave herself. I don't know. Maybe I'd pass on her. Did I say Atilla the Hun? That would be good for laughs.

Music:

Classic rock and roll and classic pop music.I got my layout at CleanupMyspace.com | Free Myspace Layouts

Movies:

The Deerhunter, The Wizard of Oz, Ordinary People, Fearless, Heavenly Creatures, Badlands, The Secretary, My Dinner with Andre, Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Sling Blade, The Exorcist, All That Jazz, Saturday Night Fever, Goodfellas, Trainspotting, Dead Ringers, Muriel's Wedding

Television:

Little Britain, The Office (British one, of course though the American one is growing on me), Buffy, Thrush TV, The Dog Whisperer, Reno 911 (uncut), Xena, The Crocodile Hunter

Books:

I have a bunch of books residing at the side of my bed - mainly non-fiction. Reading: Davis Sedaris "Me Talk Pretty One Day" Stephen King "On Writing" Cesar Millan's "Cesar's Way" John Rotten/Lydon's "Rotten" The Essentials of Wine "I Just Hope Its Lethal" - a collection of depressing poetry "Endangered Pleasures - In Defense of Naps, Bacon, Martinis and Profanity" Vintage porn

Heroes:

Steve Irwin - a very, very good man, I think.

My Blog

People or Things Im Supposed To Like But I Dont List (with help from friends)

Beth' List:Stevie WonderBillie HolidayMeryl StreepTechnoBob DylanPeopleJohnny CashSeinfeldDavid Letterman (his humor is so dry, it's dust-like)Robin Williams and Mike Myers (their talent makes me upti...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sun, 18 Nov 2007 07:08:00 PST

Help!

It's an emergency.I was chopping up broccoli and the knife slipped. I cut my finger and it's bleeding bad. I'm all alone. I never felt so alone. Ow....
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sun, 24 Feb 2008 04:58:00 PST

Belle of the Rock Bottom Ball

(special thanks to Ruby for her contributions. Please visit Beth's Urban Tales of Wonder and Decay for "official" blog site)Somebody has to get away from the Jersey coast and right quick before that...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 03:12:00 PST

undefined Thrush TV - Lessons in Pregnancy Prevention

undefined Thrush TV - Lessons in Pregnancy Prevention Add to My Profile | More Videos...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 03:24:00 PST

Seagull Flies

I will lie down in autumnLet birds be flyingSwept in a hollow by the windI'll wait for dyingI will lie inert unseenMy hair same-colored with grass and leavesGather me for the autumn fireswith the with...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:37:00 PST

Hopes for the New Year

I'm keeping it small this year. Real small. I'll pass on world peace and saving the environment. What I'd really like to see is:The end of the "Got Milk" ads.They make me sick. They have from the ...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Tue, 08 Jan 2008 07:23:00 PST

Laughing at the Frozen Rain

This house is an old house  drafty all the time. It's November and my bedroom is cold. I have a heater in it and I straddle it for an extra blast of heat. It burns the insides of my legs sometim...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sun, 09 Dec 2007 05:07:00 PST

The Brothers

I never really had brothers. I have two biological brothers but I never really had brothers. My family is as disconnected as apple pie and hammers. I do remember some brotherly activity at first  ...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:39:00 PST

God in Little Objects

God in Little ObjectsJoy! I just bought a pair of kitchen scissors. What are kitchen scissors, you ask? Well, they are scissors&but for the kitchen. And they bring joy. Because you cut stuff inst...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:29:00 PST

Weed Killer, Friend Killer

In an attempt to make friends on my little island off of the Jersey coast, I often cruise the streets. Cruising isn't just for people in search of a sexual conquest; it's made for any lonely gal, new...
Posted by Professional Shapeshifter Beth Mann on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 01:26:00 PST