the mathematician - ProfilesArchive

About Me

well i've been on myspace for about two years, and i think the biggest thing i've learned here is that people are even bigger morons than i previously thought. every day i get bulletins en masse about crushes and bad things happening if i don't repost. who writes all this shit? it's like there's some 8th grade girl in a room somewhere churning all this out. but the worse part is, people actually participate in it. it blows my mind. i guess the good news is this: i make my money commenting on the stupidity of others, so it's good to know i won't be out of a job for a very long time. and that brings us to me.....by day i research topological algebra, and by night i am a stand up comic. i go by the stage name, "the mathematician"...i bet you can't guess why. now is probably a good time to share a little personal info. i once thought i had erectile dysfunction, but it just turned out i wasn't gay. i met a girl with a back tattoo above her ass. it was some japanese lettering. she asked me, "do you know what this means?" i said, "uh, you're a whore?" i dated a girl once who had so much plastic surgery, that if she had fallen out of my car while driving i could have gotten a ticket for littering. i'm really glad we evolved from monkeys and not dogs, cuz it's hard enough making sure my BREATH smells good. some people say love makes the world go round; others say it is money. well i think they are both wrong. i believe it's gravity. gravity makes the world go round...that's why i only date fat chicks. in sum, keep an eye out for me, for my time is almost nigh.

My Interests

stand up comedy. that's me in a nutshell. but it'd have to be a pretty big nutshell. i also love mma and reading cosmology, but really i pretty much just write material all the time. i guess you could say i'm obsessed, but isn't that really just determined, but from the other point of view?

You Are Edward From "Edward Scissorhands."

You are very shy and often misunderstood. Innocent, sweet, and artistic, you like to pass your days by daydreaming and expressing yourself through the arts. You are a truly unique individual. Unfortunately, you are quite lonely, and few people truly understand you.
Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

I'd like to meet:

natasha henstridge...she's not here is she?

Music:

frontline assembly, kmfdm, wumpscut, pig, leaetherstrip, vnv nation, funker vogt, einstuerzende neubauten, laibach, zeromancer, informatik, die warzau, chemlab, skinny puppy, ministry, razed in black, anything by mike patton...you know, something to tap your toe to.

something happy, with puppies.

like this...

Movies:

se7en, memento, heat, trainspotting, american psycho, fight club, usual suspects, falling down, the crow, american history x, casino, goodfellas, brazil, rushmoore, horror flicks, and anything by the coen bros.

Television:

the triumvirate of perfect television: the family guy, the office, the daily show.

without this, there is no reason to watch it.

Heroes:

einstein, leibniz, nietzsche, and antonio rodrigo minotauro nogueira

and how could i have forgotten all this time....my incredible wife, lins. she is the ending to the story that i thought i'd never have. she alone has been able to prove the whole world wrong. she has enabled me to take my path to never thought possible heights.....and she makes a mean pepper steak. i love you honey, and i wouldn't be me without you.

My Blog

lafayette is stultifying me

people have told me for years that lafayette is just not the right place for me to live. it is too small, too narrow-minded, too stupid basically. well for the longest time i didn't really...
Posted by the mathematician on Sat, 29 Apr 2006 09:51:00 PST

get a load of this bitch

ok, read what this absolute tard had to say, then read my response.There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the gene ral p...
Posted by the mathematician on Sun, 19 Mar 2006 09:39:00 PST

for my girl

victory you are the fruit i thought i'd never tasteyou are the vision i thought i'd never seeyou are the joy i thought i'd never feel i spent my life in darknessi fought my demons to a drawbut then yo...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

what is this?

it's been sometime since i've posted something, and the recent turbulence inside of me has seen fit to get me to write this tonight. i stumble through my days now, never fully cognizant of what's a...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

hazy

i sit here in a haze....the clarity of my mind has yet to return. in the absence of the king, the peasants run amok. i find myself facing a crossroads. one way leads to health...one to the heart. ...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

free music

one of my favorite bands, die warzau, has just released a song on the internet for everyone to enjoy. the song is in response to the us's position on the treatment of prisoners and our hypocracy in fo...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

some assorted stuff

You Are Scary You even scare scary people sometimes! How scary are you? ...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

the next chapter in the crazy phone lady story

so where we last left off i had put her phone number on my answering machine and said that she still calls me. now let me resume. the phone calls continued, but now my roommate would answer th...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

no title

sitting here eating the detritus of our nation's celebration of excess...feeling disturbed as usual. i find it difficult to focus my mind's eye on one thing. it seems like everything is competing fo...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

pre-thanksgiving mumbo jumbo

i don't get this place. i don't mean that in a philosophical or existential sense...i mean myspace. it is such an encapsulation of humanity. you would think that the stereotypes of judging people w...
Posted by the mathematician on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST