Brandon Burpfart

Oldest Animation of the World Found In Burnt City

Tehran (CHN) -- An animated piece on an earthen goblet that belongs to 5000 years ago was found in Burnt City in Sistan-Baluchestan province, south-eastern Iran.On this ancient piece that can be calle...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:11:00 PST

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

A new book called Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships predicts that in the future, humans will be having sex with robots. Here to further elaborate is Future Funnyman ...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 03:23:00 PST

Worst Fake Porn Titles of 2007

There Will Be CumFantastic 4Play: Rise of the Silver Surfer's BonerThe Bourne FellatioCock HardI Am HornyAmerican GangbangGood Fuck ChuckButt Pirates of the Caribbean: Ass World's EndJuno How Much I W...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Mon, 31 Dec 2007 04:58:00 PST

What really happened to Benazir Bhutto

There's a lot of speculation about who ordered the assassination of former Pakastani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. Al Qeda has claimed responsibilty, the Pakastani government is blaming extremists, ...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:02:00 PST

Back by no popular demand - more random poems/songs

The best day of my lifeIs the day you become someone else's wifeYour husband pays all the billsI get all the thrillsI get to have my flingYou get to keep your ringI've never been so happy on my own---...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Sun, 08 Jul 2007 04:07:00 PST

Cheer up, ugly people!

I'm temping in a huge building downtown.  I see dozens of people going to work every day.  About half of them I'd objectively say are ugly.  We're talking very short, very wide, an...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Fri, 23 Mar 2007 03:09:00 PST

Tattoo, road trip, or Wii

I've been working at a stupid desk job for awhile, and now that I have some actual money saved up, I want to blow it on at least one frivolous, self-indulgent thing (instead of using it for headshots,...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:10:00 PST

More Tears in Heaven

All Muzak is awful -- on that I think we can all reach a consensus.  But I was particularly horrified to hear a Muzak version of Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" playing in the corporate caf...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 02:41:00 PST

Hate in an Elevator

I hate sharing the elevator with other people. It's not that I'm particularly claustrophobic, I just don't enjoy the awkward silence or the awkward small talk. If I get in an elevator and I see you ...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 02:19:00 PST

Who killed Anna Nicole Smith?

We all did.  I'm pointing the finger at you, John Q. Public.  Our society's promotion of fame and fortune as the highest bellweathers of "success" has claimed a fragile, beautiful flower jus...
Posted by Brandon Burpfart on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:15:00 PST