daniel barnard profile picture

daniel barnard

ne-o-lith-ic plas-tic art

About Me

"anal is a polite name for what I am"...... Half dazed from re-creating the sound that exudes from a banana when you peel it- using nothing but a cheese staple and an olive branch, I gradually realized that nothing in my life had been larger than a half digested pea. This began to grate on me as if a large plume of talcum powder were being inserted into one of my nostrils via a crate of camera tonic . Exhausted, I decided never to eat cardboard again, but to just make a new start... and here is that new start!...."OFF THE BITTEN TRACK" is where you may find me!
http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/yourgallery/artist_profile/ /24198.html
[email protected] DANIELBARNARD.COM

My Interests

Blink and you'll miss me, I have a lovely scarf on x On show now at the Goldfish gallery, Penzance, Mixed Show - No Theme, till 7th April "Next to his house was a piece of broken board which had: "TRESPASSERS W…" on it. When Christopher Robin asked the Piglet what it meant, he said it was his grandfather's name, and had been in the family for a long time. Christopher Robin said you couldn't be called Trespassers W, and Piglet said yes, you could, because his grandfather was, and it was short for Trespassers Will, which was short for Trespassers William. And his grandfather had had two names in case he lost one. Trespassers after an uncle, and William after Trespassers."..... Winnie the Pooh .......................................STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF, STUFF

I'd like to meet:

I have met people. IT WAS NOT GOOD!!!
DANIELBARNARD.COM....

Music:

IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER, I LIKE.........CSS, Kimya Dawson, Mouldy Peaches, Kate Nash, Regina Spektor, The Fall, Kate Rusby, Muse, Klaxons, Radiohead, Gossip, Kathryn Williams, Sing Sing, The Sundays, Coctau Twins, The Pixies, Doves, Elbow, Blur, Graham Coxon, Rachel Goswell, Slowdive, Catherine Wheel, The Telescopes, BIS, Pulp, The Cranes, Mazzy Star, TheThe, Belle and Sebastian, Julian Cope, Garbage, Supergrass, Husker Du, Curve, Idlewild, No-Doubt, Shelleyan Orphan, Mudhoney, The Chemical Brothers, Lush, Ride, Cardiacs, Miranda Sex Garden, The Pogues, Flaming Lips, Foo Fighters, The Kooks, Tom Waits, Zutons, Maximo Park, Galaxi 500, Feeder, Sonic Youth, N.E.R.D, The Men They Couldn't Hang, The Pogues, The Wedding Pressent, Lilly Allen, The Streets, Everything but the Girl, XCNN, Kasabian, Kaiser Cheifs,

Movies:

(THE FILMS BELOW THAT MAKE ME CRY WILL BE FOLLOWED BY AN *, THE AMOUNT OF *'s WILL INDICATE HOW MANY TEARS HAVE FLOWED, i.e. ****= BAWLING) Fairytale-a true story**, Singing in the Rain**, Princess Bride**, My Fair Lady****(I've grown accustomed to her face), Bridget Jones 1 and 2 ***, Nuts in May, Abigail's Party, Amelie*****, Team America, English Patient **, JP1*,2,3*, The Secret Garden****, XMen 1,2*,3, The Railway Children****(daddy, my daddy), Holy Grail, Napoleon Dynamite, Withnail & I, Zoolander, Frida, Frequency****, So i Married an Ax Murderer, The Whale Rider****, Anchor Man, King Kong (b/w + new), Ring of Bright Water****(obvious), Muriel's Wedding*, Spinal Tap, Spiderman 2*(I've always loved you), Enchanted April**, Confetti, Star Trek- First Contact, Star Trek- Insurection**, Eternal Sunshine, Peter Pan**, War of The Worlds, Galaxie Quest, Fried Green Tomatoes*, Identity, Sound of Music**, Goonies (you guuuys), 28 Days Later..., Shaun of the Dead, most Woody Allen- Annie Hall (it's the most fun I've had without laughing), Star Trek- First Contact, Star Trek- Inurection**(new system), Supermen Returns, Notting Hill,

Television:

i know people dont fink that creative people should watch tv, but i bloomin' well love it! Life on Mars, Ugly Betty, Dick 'n' Dom, Kath 'n' Kim, Man Stroke Woman, Spaced, Lost, Green Wing, Mighty Boosh, Qi, The Simpsons, Titty Bang Bang, Star Trek (sorry), Family Guy, Dr.Who, Tracey Beaker, Father Ted, the as yet unmade documentary about ME!

Books:

Princess Bride (even better than the film), To Kill a Mockingbird, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Emma, anything by Will Self, Douglas Addams, Winnie the Pooh, other peoples private diaries

Heroes:

Claire, Seven of Nine, Joseph Cornell, Bill Bailey, Gene Rodenberry, Gunther von Hagen Das, Peter Blake, Edward Keinholz, Eeyore, The Hulk, Wolverine, Banana Man, ME!DANIELBARNARD.COM

My Blog

Goldfish

No, I haven’t won some goldfish at the local fair, nor have I succumbed to the pleading cries for new members to our menagerie (we now have stick insects too).One of, if not the best (for me) ga...
Posted by daniel barnard on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 05:00:00 PST

AAARRRRG!

AAARRRRGGGGGG!AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!AAAAAAAAARRRRRRR RRRRRGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
Posted by daniel barnard on Sun, 30 Sep 2007 03:53:00 PST

i got bitten!

I got bitten by a dog today (no, not my dog, this was a real dog, not a wanna be dog!). It was a stupid grokle dog, belonging to a holiday maker staying in one of the houses in our court. They had let...
Posted by daniel barnard on Tue, 10 Jul 2007 11:38:00 PST

wishes

i made a wish boxi think it works!
Posted by daniel barnard on Wed, 09 May 2007 06:04:00 PST

new show

me is part of show nxt week near Henly on Thameshttp://www.barnacregallery.co.uk/index.htmlIf you fancy coming, let me know and i'll send you an invite.Hopefully there should be about 8-9 pieces in th...
Posted by daniel barnard on Wed, 02 May 2007 03:14:00 PST

wot is in my mind?

.....................;..............
Posted by daniel barnard on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 03:14:00 PST

i give up

i give up, I have no more will power left, i surrender, i cant fight anymore
Posted by daniel barnard on Mon, 19 Mar 2007 10:40:00 PST

its nice to have some pictures again

The lack of pictures on my page really disheartened me :( Its nice to have some back.I think some of my brain has dissolved, there was a gooey mess on the pillow and I have no ability to think or do a...
Posted by daniel barnard on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 01:52:00 PST

sorry guys

Sorry that all my lovely pictures has gone for the moment, I know it must be difficult for you not to see my lovely little things every day of your life, I know I couldnt cope! I spose it was my faul...
Posted by daniel barnard on Fri, 16 Feb 2007 02:40:00 PST

bacon

Went to the opening of the new Tate St.Ives show on Friday, was the fisrt time we've ever bothered going. My goodness, I think everyone else in St.Ives had the same thought. You couldn't move for luvi...
Posted by daniel barnard on Mon, 05 Feb 2007 09:44:00 PST