BrandonCorp profile picture

BrandonCorp

cop u later

About Me

yawn.

My Interests

coffee, cigarettes, The Mooninites, Thaddeus Brimley, gin, shitty movies, falling to sleep at dawn, Slavs, pterodactyls, personal fouls, stereotypes, oppressors, failed experiments, phenomena, ravioli, boomboxes, vaginas, tyrants, tyrants with vaginas, myths, the apocalypse, moonlight, Bazooka Jesus, mediocrity, the vainglorious, pant-wetting displays/acts/people of awesomeness, gin & juice, gin & anything, my pending membership into the Wu-Tang Clan

Music:

m.i.a., radiohead, the walkmen, mf doom, tokyo police club, el-p, justice, lcd soundsystem, cadence weapon, aesop rock, futureheads, arctic monkeys, rosebuds, neutral milk hotel, the rapture, klaxons, animal collective, panda bear, crystal castles, simian mobile disco, blur, kid606, !!!, feist, broken social scene, wu-tang clan, ghostface killah, keith sweat, bel biv devoe, blood red shoes, bloc party, horrors, cat power, gil mantera's party dream, patrick wolf, liars, everly brothers, of montreal, atmosphere, mclusky, diplo, interpol, patsy cline, beck, battles, squarepusher, aphex twin, plaid, spoon

Movies:

weekend at bernie's, bill and ted's excellent adventure, police academy, stop or my mom will shoot, men at work, turner and hooch, speed, laser mission, alone in the dark, breakin' 2: electric boogaloo

Television:

pron?

Books:

machiavelli, voltaire, kafka, huxley, camus, murakami, bukowski, vonnegut, plath, anything that makes me feel smarter by making me feel like an ignorant, undereducated anushole

Heroes:

Caius Caligula, Commodus, Charlemagne, Charles Martel, Caesar, Clovis-basically any egocentric, narcissistic, divinely chosen emperor/ruler/public figure who has been dead for at least 2 years

My Blog

Tab A Tab B

There is a mighty fine line between holding it together and falling the fuck apart. I don't think there's a gray area here. You are either in A or in B. It's easy to fall into the latter. Fall off the...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:53:00 PST

bangers and mash

Piss and vinegar. Mein Auto is kaputt again. There seems to be a gaping hole in the bottom of it, and a green susbtance, not unlike You Can't Do That on Television slime, has been ejaculated all under...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 03:32:00 PST

walk around with you

I should be editing an essay at this time, but I Kant concentrate. My mind is at sea, as someone (Falco maybe?) once said. I am thinking of moving to France or England or another European nation (Brat...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Mon, 10 Sep 2007 02:14:00 PST

gratitude

Contrary to popular belief, there are people in this world who are truly genuine, kind, helpful, and awesomely awesome.Thank you.Oh, and apparently Pavarotti died. If any of you give a shit, send his ...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 02:23:00 PST

announcement

I have quit my job and my colleging to become a full-time gymnast. Being a part-time gymnast was only partially satisfying. I have purchased or made several lycra suits to accomodate my new profession...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Mon, 03 Sep 2007 01:01:00 PST

why walking should be mandatory

Last night I took a walk with Alice Helmsley, my partner in all things pyramid scheme and giraffe related. As we were crossing the intersection, running, I began to trip. My attempts to ready myself p...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:39:00 PST

to the underachiever the spoils

In one day I managed to find a dictionary, about $3.79 in change, some celebrity magazines to read, and an authentic Egyptian burial mask that may or may not be cursed. Who carelessly leaves dictionar...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:19:00 PST

something to make your day awesome

If you are having a less than stellar day, be it you totalled your car, ran out of drugs, totalled your car on drugs, lost the Superbowl, got Lupus, ran out of Valtrex--regardless of the nature of you...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 05:37:00 PST

Cunts o' the week

I am having trouble with this 'Amy Winehouse' thing. I mean, she's one of...a fuckload of musicians who come with their own time capsule packed with music/lyrics/clothes/hair/wtf ever, yet people can'...
Posted by BrandonCorp on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:18:00 PST

young Christians in love

as cliched as Italian gangsters have made it, sometimes, a life of crime seems like fun. but that's probably the privileged non-depraved caucasian male in me.
Posted by BrandonCorp on Wed, 20 Jun 2007 07:57:00 PST