What Would Satan Do - ProfilesArchive

About Me

see W h a t W o u l d S a t a n D o . c o m it tells all...
Let's get a couple things out of the way:
I am vegan.
This means I do not consume the flesh of other creatures, and neither should you.
Jokes about "eating pussy" in relation to this statement are neither funny OR clever. Think before you speak such nonsense to me.
If we are known to one another yet suddenly the guilt is upon your head for the make of a foul quip as such, any pedestal you ride upon will rapidly crumble...
No matter how abrasive/obnoxious/offensive I come off on this page or on my site, along side it all I am an extremely kind and compassionate person. You will likely realize this at one point and then take advantage of it, as that is the curse of the "nice guy".
I am not GAY
I am not a SATANIST
I fucking LOVE my job!
I AM indeed a hypocrite, but so are you and every other person you know. If you honestly believe you are not one, think long and hard and I am sure you will come up with something.
If you met me within the last year and a half, it was likely a poor representation of me as I was buried deep in a THC fog, which I am now out of. So please feel free to reintroduce yourself.
I really don't care much for being on the phone, especially at home. If by chance we do happen to telecommunicate, chances are it will be my cell in my car. And if I can't use my headset I will not talk to you for longer than a minute.
I will NEVER use my cell while in a store/bank/post office, etc... And if YOU do and you happen to be in front of me and are causing a backup since your conversation about how important you are is more essential than acknowledging the teller/cashier, you are lucky if my knuckles aren't introduced to your skull.
I despise Psychic Vampires and have unfortunately dealt with many: If you are one, please stay the fuck away from me. Those of you who are mentally ill often make for VERY powerful ones, and I would also like YOU to stay the fuck away from me and anyone I care about.
I am not a Myspace-Pussy collector.
I am not on here to get fucked. Not that I would necessarily turn it down if it were offered, and I mean no offense ladies, but most of you are just not worth the trouble y'all think you are.
I hate the hours between noon and 6pm. I Love the hours between 11pm and 11am. I wish I spoke German, but I can't seem to learn.
Drummer...sometimes
If I could spend all my time with dogs instead of people, I'd be delighted.
I can't stand people who are cocky about the type of alcohol they drink.
("how do you make Grey Goose on the rocks taste better? Improve the ice")
Oh fuck the fuck off!!!

I find the majority of humans to be very annoying and disgusting.
I get really REALLY REALLY bad headaches that make me contemplate suicide and/or heroin. So far I haven't made a choice...
I HATE when people use any phrase involving "smoking crack" to express the fucked-up'dness of someone.
I enjoy marijuana...
Medicinally of course...But recently decided it is starting to bore me.
The walls around me do adorn Christs image, but unserving to any ill-conceived faith. It's just that his lack of presence prohibits me from being able to finish off
That is a joke by the way, to clarify for the few so dumb to think it is fact.
I am NOT a METROSEXUAL...I am NOT a LIBERAL(by current media definition that is)... I am NOT a "TREEHUGGER"... I AM NOT anything you think I am or assume I am based on your moronic beliefs that we all have to belong to some retarded group... I just simply give a fuck about things: animals, air, water, etc... I am sorry Rush Limbaugh put in your head that I can't do these things without being a crazy liberal...I don't like George Bush, but again, this does not mean I am a liberal, it means I don't like George Bush.
If we have met before, and I see you out somewhere, I will at least look at you with curiosity. I may not remember your name, but I always remember faces. I am sick of meeting people over and over, only to see them out somewhere again and have them walk right by as if I am a total stranger.
Band band band band, I don't give a fuck about your band band BLAND band, I don't think you really understand...
The pleasure I derive from using squeegies or watching others use them is indescribable. Same feeling arises from observing the polishing of metals such as copper, chrome and especially brass. I wish I had an explanation for this, but I do not.
I am attracted to girls with big noses and crooked teeth. I love to stare at and feel jawlines and skull structures. I despise my own skull structure and will likely envy you for yours. The compliments I give on these features can sometimes be taken the wrong way. I enjoy the company of freaks and weirdos over all others. If you got some weirdness going on, please include me. I used to LOVE solitude more than anything, but something short circuited in my brain recenly that has altered something. So if you fit the bill of a weirdo or a freak and want to hang, feel free to invite me.
People often think I am freaking out about things when really I am not.
I don't care for spicy or hot food, and there are many many many things it seems EVERYONE has tried or experienced in childhood that I have not. Not sure why, I just seem to have avoided a lot of the standards.
To those of you who think it is ridiculous I have Sooo many friends on here, let me tell you why. This profile, although personal, is also a link-through to my site WhatWouldSatanDo.com. Clearly I would like to have as many people as possible visiting that site. Therefore, if someone adds me, so long as they are not a hunter or a total chode, or any of the spammer porno-cam sluts, I will add you. I no longer add any bands unless you really really get to me. If your music doesnt stir up some level of emotion, I just can't listen to it more than once.
ATTN: BANDS: I will accept your request if you add me, but if you leave me a comment thanking me for adding you OR if you drop MASSIVE banners for your shows or anything like that in my comments, I will delete you. Come on guys. It REALLY starts to get annoying. If you want to thank me, send me a message, not a comment.
"My Wife, yes.
My Dog, maybe.
The Praxis of Futurist Doctrine with an Eye towards the realization of a truly Mechanized society...NEVER!"
If we know each other and you decided to get yourself a pet, be prepared for a lecture. If you had the decency to get your animal from a shelter or a rescue OR took in a stray, I will commend you and assist you in any way needed.
If you are an asshole and bought your animal from a pet store or from your dumb-fuck irresponsible neighbor who didn't spay/neuter their animal, or god forbid you spew out the statement that you "had to have a purebred", I may possibly punch you...No no no, I WILL punch you. Hard! Multiple times! Fucko!
"I'm a winner, I'm a sinner.. Do you want my autograph?"

My Interests

Veganism, Animal Rights (yes this includes deserving humans as well - but there are very few of you), Comedy clubs, Dogs, rabbits, blimps, WhatWouldSatanDo.com , drums, Shadows and hiding in them, solitude(on hiatus), Opiates(retired), Carnivals, Salvia, Popsicles, Violin.

I'd like to meet:

Perhaps some other vegans who reside near me or are coming through the area. I am quickly losing my ability to tolerate the masses. Not like I ever could, but I once had a higher ability to pretend and disguise my disdain. This skill is rapidly fading.
I do not really desire to MEET these people, but I do have admiration for them.
Conan O'Brien
Bill Hicks (RIP)
I would like to meet a few random folk from time far away each way
Pimpbot
Steve Martin and George Carlin:
When I was 5, I discovered my parents George Carlin/Steve Martin records. I listened and my parents never stopped me.
I listened and learned. I thank Carlin for helping shape the way my brain works and the way I think. I find my thoughts and rants to be heavily influenced by Mr Carlin.
You should all find some old records of his. Start at the beginning and work your way up to current. You will learn and likely change.

On the rare chance that I request to be your Myspace friend, it means something about you, your profile, or whatever, interested me. I don't add hot ladies just because they are hot. I add interesting people with something to say. Free thinkers who do not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about what they feel and say.
Oh, and Lou Diamond Phillips: Only a few of you will get the humor behind this one. If you think you got it, let me know.

Music:

I like good music. It's as simple as that. But without music I would prefer death. Metal(real metal that is), Singer/songwriter, punk, string, etc.. Country I can do without though...

Movies:

Television:

TV gets a bad rap and is often dissed as evil. But it's not like I am sitting here watching The View and Friends.
If used properly, TV can be a tremendous source of entertainment and education:
DEADWOOD, Strangers With Candy, The Daily Show, Lawrence Welk, Animal Planet, Discovery, History International, Teenwolf/Footloose on Telemundo, Ninja Warrior, Ninja Warrior and Ninja Warrior!

Books:

Incarnations of Immortality

Heroes:

Jake

My Blog

Dont Forget to Take My Cash!

Dear ATM (no not THAT ATM), Could you PLEASE be a bit louder AND perhaps take a bit longer to do what I ask you at 3am, or fuck, at any time of night when it's just me, you, and whatever hoodlums are...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 10:35:00 PST

Public displays of Lesbianism

While I am different than the average, typical male on countless levels, I do share the enjoyment of seeing two girls together intimately. BUT what really does not appeal to me are all you broads who ...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 03:01:00 PST

I had a dream

And in this dream I was a spy amongst a crew of baby seal clubbers during a mass slaughter. In this dream I witnessed horrendous, awful and vile acts performed by men who all had a group prayer...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 02:45:00 PST

Its always got to be someone...

Its always got to be someone who is seen as the "psycho". I truly NEVER thought it would be me... NEVER!.......Ugh!My apologies to all my friends who have had to endure my pathetic transformation into...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Tue, 01 May 2007 07:59:00 PST

Where have all the flowers gone?

I complain repeatedly about the things I hate or that I do not understand. I am sure it annoys many of those around me. But of course I do not keep too many around me at length enough to catch on.But ...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Sun, 08 Apr 2007 03:58:00 PST

NONE of you seem to care that your freedoms are being raped

I often post bulletins ranging from stupid video clips of human idiocy, to extremely important articles about how all of our freedoms are being raped from under our feet.A particular pattern has come...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 03:18:00 PST

Terror

I was watching TV and got to see some of the footage of Fallujah being blown to shit. They keep calling the Iraqis, "insurgents". I'm sorry, but aren't WE the insurgents? And we keep using the word "T...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

Are you ready for the rapture?

When Jesus returns, there will be no more milk...So accept HIM and you can have your cheese in Heaven.I like how we talk about Muslim beliefs as if they are the most insane motherfuckers ever.Christia...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Wed, 26 Jul 2006 11:50:00 PST

American citizen forced by LAW to undergo Chemo treatment

This is the kind of shit that sickens me about America. This poor kid has suffered through cancer and a round of chemo/radiation treatment that did nothing but make him even more sick. His hair fell o...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Sat, 22 Jul 2006 11:32:00 PST

Camslut spam and the moronic men who believe they are real sluts who want their cock.

Every day I receive approximately 10 add requests from spam/cam sluts.It is 100% apparent that these profiles are bogus, and that the girl is just a photo being used for the add. But every fucking spa...
Posted by What Would Satan Do on Tue, 18 Jul 2006 07:57:00 PST