John Loser Smith

I became the highest-paid coach in the Big Ten despite doing very little at Louisville other than getting the Cardinals to bowl games and underachieving. Look at Louisville now and how good the Cardinals are. Meanwhile, I have turned Michigan State into a national laughingstock as national analysts around the country laugh about my annual meltdowns on national television every year. I don't instill confidence whatsoever in my team and my playcalling is suspect and I rely too much on my coordinators. And when things take a turn for the worst, I like to smile and look perplexed like I can't believe this is happening (even though it has so many times) and I like to blame it all on the officials. Oh, and after I lost an embarrassing game to Notre Dame on national television where I let the Irish score 19 unanswered points in the fourth quarter, I just lost to Illinois on my school's homecoming at home, giving Ron Zook his first Big Ten victory ever. And I admitted to the press after the humiliating loss that my team doesn't listen to me anymore. When a reporter asked me when I knew our team wasn't prepared to play Illinois after the Notre Dame debacle, I gushed: “All week. That’s the way we practiced, what you saw. We can’t get them to go. Apparently I don’t have the answer. Can’t get them to go hard in practice.”