Greg

Lately I have developed an interest in LEATHER PANTS. Yeah that's right. See I work a day JOB and yeah it’s interesting, fulfilling, “nevera dull moment” and all that but it doesn’t pay enough to get a pair of custom LEATHER PANTS. I suppose I could get BLACK PLASTIC or VYNIL but since the band I’m in is HEAVY AS HOLY HELL, I think animal skin is more apropos, more...PRIME EVIL, and not just cow hide either. There is this guy on the 400 block of E.9th St. that creates (for a PRETTY PENNY) the softest most luxurious leather regalia from the skins of all sorts of exotic animals like OSTRICH and GATOR. He could probably hammer a nice codpiece out of a SPOTTED OWL if you were inclined to SHOOT ONE, which would be BREAKIN' THE LAW, and breakin' the law is technically ROCK&ROLL. I wonder if when looking at an animal he thinks “BELT OR SHOES?” I think that would be an example of UNHEALTHY detachment from other Living Beings. I see a lot of that kind of thing at work. My friend MARI says that leather pants are “QUITE A COMMITMENT” in that not just any body can “DO EM’” and she oughta know because she’s in the industry (fashion that is, not poaching). When I think of leather pants, I think of ELVIS’ “68’ COMEBACK SPECIAL” (black, head to toe, Joan Jett pulled it off, fuckin HOT! ). Maybe for you Jim Morrison is conjured up in the minds eye? Either way I think those would be “CLASSIC” prototypes. The 80’s rockers added tassels, TALISMAN, and strategically placed slits, or other arbitrary nonsense; adding a personal style in the form of ACCESORY that worked in some instances (DIAMOND DAVE) but became a running joke in others; Remember Eddie Murphy’s shoulder padded, WINGED get-up in RAW? That’s not what I am after. I am also not interested in BALL-GAGS & ANAL BEADS so the 90’s S&M trend, although HILARIOUS, is out of the question. Things were so much simpler in the early days when moms referred to your (AND MY) second-rate RAMONES style "SOUND" as "ALL THAT RACKET" as you thrashed about in basements and in garages, getting the “SET” down for a gig at the local PUNK ROCK SHIT HOLE; when the idea of "GEAR" at all was moot. Nobody had anything and you couldn’t get anything anyway. There was no “ROCK&ROLL OUTFITERS” at the local mall like there is now. In fact bands rarely had t-shirts made. Even if they did you had to order em' from "TRASH & VAUDVILLE" which you only knew about because they had ads in PUNK MAGAZINE so YOU had to MAKE your own with spray-paint and sharpies if you gave a shit at all which most people didn’t. Well that’s not entirely true; PUNKS gave a shit ‘cause they were wildly idealistic and didn’t wanna be mistaken as being a part of some other fucked up crew like the Hippies or Bikers. Not that there was any disdain for anyone else at the shows, there wasn’t. It’s just that the punks wanted something different than what had already been done (POORLY) and they looked like it. Speaking of PUNK, Sid had a pair of LEATHER PANTS, So did CHRISSY HYNDE. Even JOEY traded his GREASY Levi’s for full leather sometime in the mid 80’s I’m thinking “TOO TOUGH TO DIE” era and even though JOEY clearly stated that he was a "TUTUTUTUTUTUTUTUTUTOUGHTOUGH GUY!" JOEY'S LEATHER PANTS and GLOVES were an understatement compared to all the Top o’ The Pops Heavily Rotated thus Highly Visible Metal bands who began to wear DAY-GLO LEATHER and eventually turned to spandex which was revealing in more ways than one as it showed that they were PUSSIES and there is no ANGST in spandex (Robert Smith trumps that statement, I Know). Things are different now. The SHOE-GAZER musician in thrift store ensembles has been played out since the birth of “Alternative Rock,” The Hip Hop obsessive focus on “BLING” is a bit contrived; more that a bit, its utterly transparent…”WHACK” if you will. The EMO look now outweighs the music, which reeks of Hair Band product. It is as if in the realm of musical ideas, performers are holding a clearance sale on all things sacred making "GOOD TASTE" without all the "DOG AND PONY SHOW" easy to miss. All the "BELLS AND WHISTLES" attached to the asses of the current STATUS-QUO makes a statement. It says "I am a whore and I am selling my aesthetic to anyone who is willing to pay me even a little bit of attention." “Everything is to be had at such a bargain that it is questionable whether in the end there is anybody who will want to bid.” (I am misquoting Kierkegaard.) Maybe that's a little harsh, I guess ABSURDITY in and of itself is a legit agenda. Hence, the unpractical yet way cool PANTS OF LEATHER. Why not just rock, and forget about what you look like and forget about the fucking pants? I’ll tell you why. ‘cause once music is written is takes on new life in Live performance and performance is entertainment. Get it? As self indulgent as rockers may be, He or She is putting on a show for other peoples amusement and I personally think it’s important to handle the spectacle of it all in appropriate attire…actually this argument is really stupid there is no validity in it and besides I should be thinking about how my car makes weird noises instead, I GOTTA GO TO WORK.