Laying in the darkness of my mind.
Contemplating my life,
Lost,Confused never knowing why,
The dreams they stay,
The reason is pain, have i gone astray?
The Losses great, loved ones gone
I want to scream, to cry, to feel once more
The Scars obtained form this world, prevent the feeling of tears.
This world has fucked me over,ruthless, like a cheap whore
Friends come, Friends go
But my story i wish to share
Brother where art thou?
The pain i feel, the guilt, of not knowing u properly
A suffocating guilt, is it my soul, or my mind?
How could this instrument the ones of which dreams are built,
Shoot me down in cold defiance.
To Jordan, you were my rock in the dark times of my life, you rescued me from myself.
You saved me, from harm, from strife
But this cruel world claimed your life
You will be missed my friend
And one day we'll chill together once again
When the days are lived out and the heavens roll into an eternity of happiness, then my mate, my brother..
We'll once again be with each other,
Reflecting apon my years of torment at school
My armour from the onslaught was to act the fool,
The taunts came and went, ever did i lose sleep dreading the school day
The comments made by most, My Self esteem did they slay
Left me cold, Empty devoid of emotion
To these people i say..
I Forgive you.
Now to myself, Depressed and alone during the early days
I wished that the payouts, were only a phase
But come they did, and cry i did
But then one day, i bottled my emotions and screwed on the lid.
I've forgotten the beauty of tears...
The the scars remain even after all these years.
I thought dark thoughts..
If i was gone would any one truely care, or would the tears shed be a subterfuge.
Amazing grace: I once was lost but now i am found
But alas not for me my pain, my fear keeps circling around
Maybe my story comes across as emo, but i say who gives a fuck
With this people might understand why i am the way i am, with any luck
My hyperactiveness, my happiness is but a shell to hide the real me
And i am the only one who will give a fuck about others who feel like me. It hurts me to see people sharing in this twisted emotional wreck.
So remember my story, the next time you see me you will better understand me
I have found someone who i can let my emotions free.
And cynthia this is for you...
When i look into your eyes,
My spine shivers, and my stomach has butterflies.
My baby girl, i hope ull always be with me
Cynthia you have finally set my heart free.
Every second in your company is a blessing
The touch of your lips,makes my pain go away
So remember baby that what i say is true
Cynthia i will always and forever, cherish and love you
Not a day goes by when i dont thank god for you
So with that said baby i truely and deeply love you
Here's the rest of myspace, thankyou for reading, and no i am not suicidal lol!!! i thought it was time for people to know the real me and i thankyou all for ur friendship i value it beyond words so thankyou again for always being there.
Hey,Well i finally decided to join to the 21st century and get off my ass and get a myspace.
I'm a Drummer, i love all music from Death Metal all the way through to Classical.
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To all those who judge me a big Fuck You is in order, if you read this you know who im talkin bout.
I love my Girl -Cynthia im thinking about you every moment i am breathing. And when im with you, you take my breath away. So remember baby i love you and always will. -Love your Boi. -xoxo-
Special mention to my House mate Tyler, Without ur friendship bro i dont know where id be, means alot cheers.
Gaz and the boyz ur teh craziest bastards round, Piss up at ours soon!!!
To David Hosemann wherever you are bro, think of us from wherever u r, you are missed and we are sorry that we didnt get to know u better. But we love you always REST IN PEACE.
To my Dad, Yvonne ,Ebony, Leah despite the shit that happens sometime i want you all to know how much i love you all, and how much you mean to me in my life. Without you guys i would be lost.
Jess, Sarah & Courtney you guys fucking rock!! Catch up soon.
And if any peeps put there wanna chat msn me, [email protected] If not fuck you and goodnight.
And to the sk8er boys, take life with every push of the board you guys rule. Catch up soon. -HOSEMANN-
To Jaden, my thoughts are with my man about the loss of your mother. Just remember mate i am always here for you. We've been tight for a long time and i know how u must be feeling. Your mother loves you man and always will.
Grace you will find someone.Remember ill be your friend always
And thankyou to all those who have visited my site hope it wasn't too boring :p.
God Bless
Julian
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