Unfortunate Coincidence
by Dorothy Parker
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
Surprise
by Dorothy Parker
My heart went fluttering with fear
Lest you should go, and leave me here
To beat my breast and rock my head
And stretch me sleepless on my bed.
Ah, clear they see and true they say
That one shall weep, and one shall stray
For such is Love's unvarying law
I never thought, I never saw
That I should be the first to go;
How pleasant that it happened so!
Resume
by Dorothy Parker
Razors pain you;Rivers are damp;Acids stain you;And drugs cause cramp.Guns aren't lawful;Nooses give;Gas smells awful;You might as well live.
Indian Summer
by Dorothy Parker
In Youth It Was
A Way I Had
To Do My Best
To Please and Change
With Every Passing Lad
To Suit His Theories
But Now I Know
The Things I Know
And Do The Things I Do
And If You Do Not Like Me So
To Hell
My Love
With You