Ambient Whale profile picture

Ambient Whale

I'm a one woman man, and that woman is Jesus

About Me


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A hopeless romantic who never learns his lesson. Chasing windmills and crying over spilt milk, our tragic hero refuses to learn the lessons life wishes to teach him. He clings to his foolish notion that honesty is the best way, that truth and experience are more vaulable then gold, and that everyone is inherrently good. No matter how many times foul truth slaps him about the face with the awful reality, our hero refuses to put down his lance. The road gets lonelier, the snickers grow louder, and all around him he is beset by the deadeyes and kucckledraggers who have carried all the good people off to the far beyond, ignored and forgotten. Behind the mask, all the tears have long since dried up. Hurt is a warm memory he refuses to let in. He fights a battle he has no hope of winning, bleeding from a dozen wounds, the weight of his own armor dragging him slowly to the ground, but he refuses to loosen his grip. He puts himself through more tortures then they could ever devise, because he holds himself to an impossible standard. Brandishing the flag of Idealism, shredded almost to ribbons by reality, our knight in transparent armor finds himself alone and outnumbered. And like the fool he is, he shouts that he wouldn't change a thing...I've never won a game of Monopoly. I always thought I would be famous someday, and still do. I'm part moralistic crusading knight, part Hugh Hefneresque sexxxy smoochmaster. It can get confusing. I enjoy chocolate, games of all kinds, music, sassy dancing, the soothing sound of the Lute, trash talking, conversation, chain guns, insects that don't bite me and take my blood, absurdity, life, science, and all that. I am an affable chap, quick with the wit and willing to meet all kinds. I have done little of interest so far, since the world is not yet ready for my interventions. Also, I tend to procrastinate. I'll fix that eventually. I also enjoy pizza slices as big as someone's head, sassafrass, and conversations that go to odd zones. fnord.

My Interests

Wayyy too much stuff: Anthropology; Anchient Cultures; Shamanism; the First Religions of Man; Magic; Psychics; Graphic Novels; Video game design; Music; Science; the nature and fabric of reality; Quantum Physics; Scientists like R. Buckminster Fuller, Tesla, Dr. John Lily, and Jack Parsons; Martial arts; Energy focusing like Qui-gong and Jin Shin Jitsu; Conspiracy Theories; Rabbits; Dork and Geek shit; Sacred Geometery; Chocolate; History; Politics; Entomology (insects); Gene manipulation; Zecharia Sitchin; Film and animation; Puppetry ; Bill Hicks; Stand-up and sketch comedy; Working in radio; The Ladies...; bad movies; Archaeology; Arguing with Christian Fundamentalists; Tacos; Agressive Dancing; Art and all that artsy stuff; The Grimpler; Cooking (actually, people cooking for me...); zombies; sword and sorcery shit; other shit I can't remember right now, but might later. I may have trouble focusing...Oh, and politics... .. width="425" height="350" ....

I'd like to meet:

George Washington:.. width="425" height="350" ....JFK:The Crack Spider...Jazz masters...Ken, or not Ken.Are you worth meeting? I will meet you. Are you a beautiful lady of class and distinction? perhaps I will meat you. Are you a plant or some sort of intelligent flower? I will peat you.I would also like to meet crazy eccentric Thrillionaires provided they are reckless with their Thrillions and willing to cut loose some juice for yours truly. I'm talking ol skool patronage. Muses accepted.

Music:


a href=http://www.profilemusic.org/standalone/2617247Gnarls Barkley, Dresden Dolls, Modest Mouse, Nation of Ulysses, James Brown, My morning jacket, Radiohead, Danger Doom, Soullive, the Smiths, the Dears, Death from Above, Lightning bolt, Klaxxons, the Arcade Fire, the fucking champs, Ween, Misfits, MJ, Mississippi John Hurt, Suga-Free, DVDA, minibosses, Rick James, Little Milton, Pussyfingers Jenkins, Old Metallica, Deathklok, Beck, Biz Markee, Django Reinhardt, The Judas Bull, Phish covering Rush covering Phish, and nothing else for a while. Check out the Warmingtons, The Judas Bull, Red Rocket, The Wilcox Hotel, Chuck Ramsey, Peacefeather, the Chance, Sum of it's parts, and any other bands my friends have...

Movies:

Movie nights are tba! Idiocracy is next up... Grizzly man was the 1st "official" movie night movie of 2007. Next up was Spinal Tap, a film most of us have seen, but not lately. Legend of the 8 Samurai = awesome. Superman Returns? I really liked it. Borat? Go see it already. The Fountain? 7/10. Barbarella is a real treat if you live like Led Zeppelin. Versus = zombies with guns. It's that good. forest of resurrerection. Richard Pryor show? Netflix that shit. Did I mention that Grizzly Man is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen? true.

Television:

Here we go: Arrested Development, Sifl and Olly, The State, Liquid Television, Robot Chicken, Morel Orel, Greg the Bunny, Herman's head, Heat Vision and Jack, Lost, Who wants to be a Superhero?, Reno 911, Stella, Simpsons, Family Guy, Kids in the Hall, UCB, TV Funhouse, Wonder Showzen, SNL, Daily show/Colbert Report, Conan O' Brien, Metalocaplypse, Home Movies, ATHF, Sealab 2021, Futurama, South Park, Misfits of Science, MacGuyver, Greatest American Hero, Twin Peaks, A-Team, Thunder in Paradise, Dr. Who, Farscape, Adventures of Brisco County Jr, Venture Bros, Stroker and Hoop, FLCL, Webster, Different Strokes, They came from outer space, The Uncle Floyd Show, Pee Wee's Playhouse, Squidbillies, 12 oz. Mouse, Mr. Show, The Awful Truth, Fight Back, Now, Chapelle show, The Ben Stiller show, Knight Rider, Headbanger's Ball, Yo MTV Raps, Eliminidate, MXC, Ultimate Fighter, Flavor of Love, Get a life, Charles in Charge, Three's Company, The Young Ones, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Red Dwarf, Ali G, 6 feet under, The Sopranos, Taxicab Confessions, Red Green, Sesame Street, Eat more Carp, Fetchin Rucker, and whatever is good... width="425" height="350" ....

Books:

I love to read em, wanna write em, have a lot of em: Wilhelm Reich's autobiography, George R.R. Martin's Storm of Swords. Ishmael, anything Tom Robbins, Thomas Pynchon or Mark Twain. The Natural Mind by Andrew Weil. The Book of the Law. George Orwell, Thomas Hardy, Mauspaussant, Poe, Lovecraft, Kurt Vonnegut, Ray Bradbury, Issac Asimov, John Lily's book about the Human Biocomputer, Nicolai Tesla's biography, Umberto Eco, David Rees, and 10000000 others. As far as comics go, only got to issue 2 in Civil War, trying to catch up on Promethia, Wanna read brian Posehn's new comic, Anything by grant Morrison, Alan Moore, Garth Ennis, or and of the old masters. Just read Frey, damn good book, great art.

Heroes:

The 2006 phoenix-Dragon, the 2007 Stringless puppet, Noam Chomsky, Ali G, R. Buckminster Fuller, John Lily, W.E.B. DuBois, Steven Colbert, Emperor Norton, Paul Bonchi, Wilhelm Reich, David Vonada, Soy Bomb, Lenny Bruce, Andy Kauffman, Bill Hicks, Richard Prior, Paul Moody, David Bowie, Jimmy Page, Bill Moyers, Robert Pollard, Jello Biafra, Howard Zinn, Alestair Crowley, Deep Throat, James Brown, Malcalypse the younger, Steve Jackson, Stuart Smith, Alan Moore, Kurt Vonnegut, Gore Vidal, Ganesha, my grandparents, anyone who will put up with my bullshit.

My Blog

So Fucking Metal

The Dethklok album is finally out...About Fucking time.New episodes too.That is all for now. ...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Sat, 06 Oct 2007 05:43:00 PST

(4 your enjoyment) St.Ides Malt Liquor ads

Being severely underemployed, I have been looking online for gainful employment.Being scatterbrained and easily distracted, I have been checking out youtube.So, for your enjoyment, kinda like a Virtua...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Fri, 27 Jul 2007 04:24:00 PST

12 ways life could end on earth (borrowed from Can-dice)

My pal Candice just posted this blog today, about how life could end on earth. A good read. But I noticed that they missed a few options. So thankfully the Ambient Whale was there to fix this mistake....
Posted by Ambient Whale on Sun, 08 Jul 2007 10:24:00 PST

Where's my dang firewire!

Dag nabbit!For serious.Where is my firewire at?I have some crazy blogs to write here, folks.Pictures of my adventures in the big city,videos, action shots, modeling photos,(no, not my own, don't worry...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:27:00 PST

A flare launches into the night sky

Working with simple blog editor here at the Library, so I apologizeif my Blog isn't in it's usual, easy to read format.I'll keep it short and sweet.Feeling odd lately. Not sick, a lil' headachey, lack...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Thu, 14 Jun 2007 12:20:00 PST

Commericals I hate

The following is a comment I left on my good pal Zombiespoon's Blog. I liked it so much, I decided to make it into my own blog. Enjoy...The Commercials that have me most Riled up: Spongebob Nopants: ...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Mon, 02 Apr 2007 12:46:00 PST

Fagpipes for Jesus: A College Ave Story

So I had the day off today. Nice. It was a lovely day in State College, Pa. Great weather, a glimpse of what could possibly have been sun,coffee flowing from the local Webster's shoppe,chairs to be ha...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Tue, 27 Mar 2007 11:53:00 PST

(Wow...) Hard-core porn interrupts Brokaw broadcast

Hard-core porn interrupts Brokaw broadcast MESA, Ariz. - A cable news program was temporarily replaced with hard-core pornography, shocking viewers who had been watching a health show featuring former...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Sat, 17 Mar 2007 03:13:00 PST

A tale of 2 White Rappers

A Short One...This is $hamrock:This is John Brown, King of the Suburbs, and his catchphrase:They are both White rappers. And the other night, one of them won $100,000. In case you have a life, I'll ex...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 10:22:00 PST

The Endingness of the Waitingness

Okay, let's get started:First off, It may appear to the untrained eye that I haven't been "online" as much as I used to be. In reality, I've been online quite a bit, just not on Myspace. I've been spl...
Posted by Ambient Whale on Mon, 19 Feb 2007 07:33:00 PST