Captain Spaulding

Well, I'm a professional clown and make the best fried chicken in the south. I own a gas station and it's pretty fucking amazing! I have a daughter named Baby and if you so much as look at her I'll..... lol Not forgetting my son Otis a chip off the old fucking block if you ask me. Well kitties time to go. The cops are here and want to know about some missing kids.... As for me I was frying chicken if you want to call it that...... It's time for y'all to leave so FUCK OFF!!!!! Name Captain Spaulding Birthday Halloween, best day of the year Birthplace Hell.....AKA, Dothan, Alabama.... Current Location Mason Eyecolor Brown Hair Color Fuck you....I'm bald fucker!!!! Height 6'1....aint that fuckin hot Right handed or left handed Right, I mean I'm not one of those intelligent fuckers that uses the other side of their brain.....guns are made for right handed people anyway Your heritage Part fucked up.....part asshole The shoes you wore today My big ass kickin boots, bitch!!! Your weakness Pussy and baby Your fears Fuck fear, I am dressed up as a clown Goal you would like to acheive this year Have a house with a thousand corpses of my own.... Your most overused phrase on an instant messenger FUCK YOU!!!!!!!! Thoughts when first waking up Oh shit, who is this fat bitch I'm laying next to???! Your best physical feature Well.....ya know ;) Your bedtime Whenever the hell I want YOur most missed memory Killing my ex wife....I wish I could kill her again, and again, and again, and...you get the point Pepsi or Coke Those won't get me fucked up....Me and Mr. Vodka will do just fine! McDonalds, or Burget King Neither, my fried chicken's the best....come on down here, and I'll change your mind...guaranteed Single or Group Dating Depends on what I'm doing.....hehehe Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea Lipton withb a little Vodka sounds good Chocolate or Vanilla Chocolate Cappicuino or Coffee Either Do you smoke? Hell yeah DO you swear? You fucking asshole bitch! How dare you tell me I fucking swear, I will fuck you up fucker!!!!!!!!! Do you singTD In the shower Do you shower daily? Well..... Have you been in love? With every hot piece of ass that walks by.... Do you want to go to college? FUck college! College is for stupid people! Do you want to get married? Oh hell no, not again! Do you believe in yourself? Of course, I'm the captain! Do you think you're attractive? Well duhhh! Look at me...I'm a hot piece of ass....I'd fuck me!! Are you a health freak? Hell no Do you get along with your parents? Well they're dead, if that says anything.... Do you like thunder storms? Oh yeah Do you play a musical instrument? My dick....we make beautiful music together...I feel a song coming on right now! In the past month have you drank alcohol? Yup In the past month have you smoked? Yep In the past month have you been on drugs? Drugs are bad! In the past month have you been on a date? With a few dead girls..... In the past month have you been on stage? Does the newspaper count??? In the past month have you been dumped? Nope IN the past month have you gone skinny dipping? You got me!!! In the past month have you stolen anything? Just your virginity..... Ever been drunk Yep Ever been called a tease? All the time Ever been beaten up? I'm the bully kickin your ass, bitch! How do you want to die? What kind of fucked up question is that???? What do you want to be when you grow up? I am grown...but hell, I'd like to be a police man. What do you think of me and my big fun walking the streets??????? What country would you most like to visit? Your Anus Favorite eye color Blue Name Captain Spaulding Favorite hair color Doesn't matterHeight Tall enough to suck my..... Weight In the middle is good Number of drugs I have taken too many Number of CDs I own A Ton Number of piercings That's for me to know, and in places you'll never find....unless you get lucky Number of tattoos Lost Count Number of things I regret Wasting time on this fucking survey....so I'm gonna make like a tree and split!