Mr Vertigo profile picture

Mr Vertigo

As flies to wanton boys, are we to the gods; They kill us for their sport.

About Me


“The City
In Which I Loved You”

And when, in the city in which I love you,
even my most excellent song goes unanswered,
and I mount the scabbed streets,
the long shouts of avenues,
and tunnel sunken night in search of you...
That I negotiate fog, bituminous
rain rining like teeth into the beggar's tin,
or two men jackaling a third in some alley
weirdly lit by a couch on fire, that I
drag my extinction in search of you...
Past the guarded schoolyards, the boarded-up churches, swastikaed
synagogues, defended houses of worship, past
newspapered windows of tenements, along the violated,
the prosecuted citizenry, throughout this
storied, buttressed, scavenged, policed
city I call home, in which I am a guest...
a bruise, blue
in the muscle, you
impinge upon me.
As bone hugs the ache home, so
I'm vexed to love you, your body
the shape of returns, your hair a torso
of light, your heat
I must have, your opening
I'd eat, each moment
of that soft-finned fruit,
inverted fountain in which I don't see me.
My tongue remembers your wounded flavor.
The vein in my neck
adores you. A sword
stands up between my hips,
my hidden fleece send forth its scent of human oil.
The shadows under my arms,
I promise, are tender, the shadows
under my face. Do not calculate,
but come, smooth other, rough sister.
Yet, how will you know me
among the captives, my hair grown long,
my blood motley, my ways trespassed upon?
In the uproar, the confusion
of accents and inflections
how will you hear me when I open my mouth?
Look for me, one of the drab population
under fissured edifices, fractured
artifices. Make my various
names flock overhead,
I will follow you.
Hew me to your beauty.
Stack in me the unaccountable fire,
bring on me the iron leaf, but tenderly.
Folded one hundred times and
creased, I'll not crack.
Threshed to excellence, I'll achieve you.
but in the city
in which I love you,
no one comes, no one
meets me in the brick clefts;
in the wedged dark,
no finger touches me secretly, no mouth
tastes my flawless salt,
no one wakens the honey in the cells, finds the humming
in the ribs, the rich business in the recesses;
hulls clogged, I continue laden, translated
by exhaustion and time's appetite, my sleep abandoned
in bus stations and storefront stoops,
my insomnia erected under a sky
cross-hatched by wires, branches,
and black flights of rain. Lewd body of wind
jams me in the passageways, doors slam
like guns going off, a gun goes off, a pie plate spins
past, whizzing its thin tremolo,
a plastic bag, fat with wind, barrels by and slaps
a chain-link fence, wraps it like clung skin.
In the excavated places,
I waited for you, and I did not cry out.
In the derelict rooms, my body needed you,
and there was such flight in my breast.
During the daily assaults, I called to you,
and my voice pursued you,
even backward
to that other city
in which I saw a woman
squat in the street
beside a body,
and fan with a handkerchief flies from its face.
That woman
was not me. And
the corpse
lying there, lying there
so still it seemed with great effort, as though
his whole being was concentrating on the hole
in his forehead, so still
I expected he'd sit up any minute and laugh out loud:
that man was not me;
his wound was his, his death not mine.
and the soldier
who fired the shot, then lit a cigarette:
he was not me.
And the ones I do not see
in cities all over the world,
the ones sitting, standing, lying down, those
in prisons playing checkers with their knocked-out teeth:
they are not me. Some of them are
my age, even my height and weight;
none of them is me.
The woman who is slapped, the man who is kicked,
the ones who don't survive,
whose names I do not know;
they are not me forever,
the ones who no longer live
in the cities in which
you are not,
the cities in which I looked for you.
The rain stops, the moon
in her breaths appears overhead.
the only sound now is a far flapping.
Over the National Bank, the flag of some republic or other
gallops like water on fire to tear itself away.
If I feel the night
move to disclosures or crescendos,
it's only because I'm famished
for meaning; the night
merely dissolves.
And your otherness is perfect as my death.
Your otherness exhausts me,
like looking suddenly up from here
to impossible stars fading.
Everything is punished by your absence.
Is prayer, then, the proper attitude
for the mind that longs to be freely blown,
but which gets snagged on the barb
called world, that
tooth-ache, the actual? What prayer
would I build? And to whom?
Where are you
in the cities in which I love you,
the cities daily risen to work and to money,
to the magnificent miles and the gold coasts?
Morning comes to this city vacant of you.
Pages and windows flare, and you are not there.
Someone sweeps his portion of sidewalk,
wakens the drunk, slumped like laundry,
and you are gone.
You are not in the wind
which someone notes in the margins of a book.
You are gone out of the small fires in abandoned lots
where human figures huddle,
each aspiring to its own ghost.
Between brick walls, in a space no wider than my face,
a leafless sapling stands in mud.
In its branches, a nest of raw mouths
gaping and cheeping, scrawny fires that must eat.
My hunger for you is no less than theirs.
At the gates of the city in which I love you,
the sea hauls the sun on its back,
strikes the land, which rebukes it.
what ardor in its sliding heft,
a flameless friction on the rocks.
Like the sea, I am recommended by my orphaning.
Noisy with telegrams not received,
quarrelsome with aliases,
intricate with misguided journeys,
by my expulsions have I come to love you.
Straight from my father's wrath,
and long from my mother's womb,
late in this century and on a Wednesday morning,
bearing the mark of one who's experienced
neither heaven nor hell,
my birthplace vanished, my citizenship earned,
in league with stones of the earth, I
enter, without retreat or help from history,
the days of no day, my earth
of no earth, I re-enter
the city in which I love you.
And I never believed that the multitude
of dreams and many words were vain.
Li-Young Lee
a

My Interests



Sports: Something with balls preferably. Extreme sports. Adrenaline junkies. Base jumping. Sky diving. Strap a rocket to your ass top fuel funny car drag racing. Extreme motocross. Skateboarding/Snowboarding/BMXing without a helmet. Running with scissors anything… But “professional” sports.

Art: Anime/Hentai/Manga, Vintage/retro/modern erotica/burlesque/glamor pin-up models/art & fantasy art - Alberto Vargus, Gil Elvgrin, Jim Silke, Dave Stevens, Dave Nestler, Olivia de Berardinis, Mark Wasyl, Jennifer Janesko, Hajime Sorayama, Greg Hildebrandt, Boris Vallejo, Julie Bell, Frank Fazetta, H. G. Giger, Michael Parkes, Ray Caesar. Modern art- Picasso, Salvador Dali, Maxfield Parrish, Peter Max, Patrick Nagel, Georgia O'Keeffe. Classic art - Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet, Rembrandt van Rijn, Leonardo Da Vinci, John Henry Fuseli, Alphonse Mucha, Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

Hobbies: Computer graphics & photo manipulation/enhancement. Writing/recording music guitar & piano. Writing children's/adult poetry & short stories. Philosophy, dialogue, dark humor & rants.

Assorted other kinks, perversions, deviations & "hobbies" that if you have to ask... You really don't want to know.

I'd like to meet:




Music:


Currently playing Takamine 6-string electric/acoustic cut away, '79 Les Paul Custom rode hard put to bed wet with Kahler locking tremolo system. Main squeeze Gretsch 6120 Nashville with Bigsby. Using D'Addario 80/20 Bronze Round Wound .010, GHS Boomers .010 & Gretsch Electromatic Nickelplated Steel .011 respectively. Played through Peavy, Marshall & Line 6 amps.

Musical interests & influences:

Even though my preferences lean more towards rock and R&B, I am open minded enough that a I draw a lot of influence and inspiration from listening to Classical/Boroque, Latin/Flamenco, Jazz/Swing/Big Band, Motown/Soul/Rap and Disco/Industrial/Techono/House musics.

AC/DC, Aerosmith, Al Green, Alanis Morisette, Alice Cooper, Alice in Chains, The Amazing Rhythm Aces, America, Anita Baker, Aretha Franklin, The Atomic Playboys, Audioslave.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Bananarama, The Bangles, Bang Tango, Barenaked Ladies, Barry White, The Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, Better Than Ezra, Big Country, The Big F, Big Head Todd & the Monsters, Billy Paul, Billy Squire, The Black Crowes, Blackfoot, Black Oak Arkansas, Black Sabath, Blink-182, Blondie, Billy Preston, Blue Murder, Bob Dylan, Bob James, Bon Jovi, Bonnie Raitt, Booker T & the MGs, Bread, Brian Setzer Orchestra, Bruce Hornsby & the Range, Bruce Springsteen, B-Tribe, Buckcherry, Buffalo Springfield, Bulletboys, Bush B W Stevenson.

Cameo, Candlebox, Carly Simon, The Chi-Lites, Chris Cornell, Chris De Burgh, Chris Isaak, Cinderella, Counting Crows, Cowboy Junkies, Craig Chaquico, Cream, Creed, Creedance Clearwater Revival, The Charlie Daniels Band, The Commitments, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, The Cult, The Cure, Curtis Mayfield, Cyndi Lauper.

Damien Rice, Dave Matthews, David Allen Coe, David Benoit, David Bowie, David Byrne, Dave Koz, David Lee Roth, Days of the New, Deep Purple, Def Leppard, Diana Ross & the Supremes, Dick Dale, Dido, Dire Straits, Disturbed, Don Henley, Don McLean, The Doors, Dr. Hook, Dr. John, Drowning Pool, Duran Duran.

The Eagles, Electric Six, Elvis Presley, Enigma, Enya, Eric Burdon & the Animals, Eva Cassidy, Evanessence, Everclear, Extreme.

Faster Pussycat, Five for Fighting, The 5.6.7.8's, Fleetwood Mac, Foghat, Foo Fighters, The Foundations, Frank Sinatra, Frankie Valli & the Four Seasons.

Garbage, George Thorogood & the Destroyers, Godsmack, The Go-Gos, Golden Earring, Goldfinger, Goo Goo Dolls, The Grass Roots, Green Day, The Guess Who.

Hall & Oates, Hank Williams, Hank Williams Jr, Harry Conik Jr, Hole, The Hollies, Huey Lewis & the News.

Ice-T, Indigenous, Iron Maiden.

J J Cale, Jackson 5, Jackson Browne, James Taylor, Janes Addiction, Janet Jackson, Jake E. Lee, Jay-Z, Jellybean, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Jerry Jeff Walker, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jewel, Jimmy Buffet, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Joe Cocker, Joe Satriani, Joe Walsh, John Cougar Mellencamp, John Hiatt, John Prine, Johnny Cash, Journey, Judas Priest.

KC & the Sunshine Band, Kenny G, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, King Swamp.

Leadbelley, Led Zeppelin, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, Lita Ford, Lou Reed, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Mad Season, Madonna, The Marshal Tucker Band, Marvin Gaye, Matchbox 20, Meat Loaf, Megadeth, Metalica, Michael Bublé, Moby, Motley Crue.

Natalie Merchant & 10,000 Maniacs, Neil Diamond, Neil Young & Crazy Horse, The New Radicals, The New York Dolls, Nickelback, Nirvana, The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, The Nixons.

Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark, The Offspring, The Ozark Mountain Daredevils, Ozzy Osbourne.

Pantera, Papa Roach, Paul Young, Paula Cole, Pearl Jam, Peter Gabriel, Pink Floyd, Poison, The Police, Poco, Procol Haren, Prince & the Revolution, Pure Prairie League.

Queen, Queensryche, Quicksilver Messenger Service.

Ram Jam, REM, Rage Against the Machine, Rare Earth, Ray Charles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Republica, Rick James, Rob Zombie, Roberta Flack, The Rolling Stones, The Romantics.

Santana, Sarah McLachlan, Savoy Brown, The Sex Pistols, Simon & Garfunkel, Skid Row, Sly & the Faimly Stone, The Smashing Pumpkins, Soundgarden, Spiderbait, The Spencer Davis Group, Steelers Wheel, Stephen Stills, Steve Miller Band, Steve Stevens, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Steve Winwood, Sting, The Stone Roses, Stone Temple Pilots, The Stray Cats, Sugar Ray, System of the Down.

TSOL, Talking Heads, Tears for Fears, Ted Nugent, The Temptations, Ten Years After, Three Dog Night, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Tom Jones, Tommy James & the Shondells, Tommy Tutone, Tonic, Tool, Tori Amos, Train.

UB40, U2.

Van Halen, Van Morrison, Velvet Revolver, The Velvet Underground, The Vines.

The Wallflowers, WAR, WASP, Waylon Jennings, White Zombie, Willie Nelson.

The Yardbirds.

ZZ top.

Movies:


Three hour long emotionally dramatic romantic comedy period piece tragedies with just enough gratuitous sex & violence to keep me from falling asleep. Vintage Hollywood movies & Classic horror films. Anything CGI or traditional animation.
Films of interest: Casablanca, The African Queen, The Seven Year Itch, Some Like it Hot, Gone With the Wind, Lord of the Rings, Mirrormask, The Crow, Heavy Metal, Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, Amadeus, Bonnie & Clyde, Once Upon a Time in America, American Graffiti, Dead Poets Society, Leaving Las Vegas, American Beauty, Troy,Showgirls, Memoirs of a Geisha, Boogie Nights, Tristan & Isolde
Directors: Quenton Tarantino- Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill 1 & 2. Oliver Stone- JFK, The Doors, Natural Born Killers. Ridley Scott- Blade Runner, Alien, Gladiator, Kingdom of Heaven. Stanley Kubrick- 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, Lolita, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket. Martin Scorsese- Taxi Driver, Raging Bull, The Last Temptation of Christ, Goodfellas, Casino, The Gangs of New York. Francis Ford Coppola- The Godfather trilogy, Apocalypse Now, Bram Stoker's Dracula. Brian De Palma- Carlito’s Way, Scarface. Jean-Pierre Jeunet- Amelie, Alien Resurrection, The City of Lost Children, Delicatessen. Zhang Yimou- Hero, House of Flying Daggers, Curse of the Golden Flower. John Woo- Broken Arrow, Face Off, The Replacement Killers, Mission Impossible II.
Actors: Al Pacino, Anthony Hopkins, Robert De Niro, Sean Connery, Russel Crowe, Mel Gibson, Dennis Hopper, William Dafoe, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp, Chow Yun-Fat, Humphry Bogart, James Cagney.
Actresses: Angelina Jolie, Michelle Pfeiffer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sandra Bullock, Mira Sorvino, Ashley Judd, Jennifer Connelly, Claire Forlani, Julie Delpy, Claire Danes, Penelope Cruz, Jessica Alba, Marilyn Monroe, Rita Hayworth, Lauren Bacall, Vivian Leigh.
Or anything with Christy Canyon, Marilyn Chambers, Nina Hartley, Ginger Lynn, Amber Lynn, Tori Wells, Sylvia Saint, Traci Lords, Jenna Jameson, Briana Banks, Hannah Harper, Taylor Rain, Jenna Haze, Flick Shagwell, Aurora Snow, Monica Sweetheart...

Television:


Death by CNN.

I own a 37” Sony Trinitron paper weight that I haven’t watched “television” since the 9-ll disaster. It sits against the wall collecting dust as a testament to the bullshit of the American news propaganda machine.

The only thing it is good for is to Playstaion.

What television programs I actually do watch I purchase on DVD. Older sit-coms and drama series such as Moonlighting, Cheers, Mad About You, NYPD Blue and ER. I also have the X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Xena Warrior Princess, Dark Angel and the Sci-fi Channels Dune on DVD. And I do own some of the premium cable series The Sopranos, Oz, Six Feet Under and The Red Shoe Dairies on DVD.

Books:


Something with pictues.
Comics & graphic novels: Sandman, Shade the Changing Man, Hellblazer, Swamp Thing, Batman, Uncanny X-men, Avengers, Fantastic Four, Incredible Hulk, Daredevil, Thor, Elektra, Kabuki, Vampirella, Magnus Robot Fighter, Rai, Turok, The Crow, Sin City, Tank Girl, Milk & Cheese, Gunfighters from Hell, Faust, Peanuts, Calvin & Hobbes.
Writers: Neil Gaiman, Frank Miller, Grant Morrison, Peter Milligan, Garth Ennis, Alan Moore, Chris Claremont, Peter David, David Quinn.
Artists: Jack Kirby, Michael Golden, Joe Madureira, Andy Kubert, Jim Lee, Jae Lee, Joe Quesada, Michael Turner, Todd McFarlane, Mark Silvestri, Dave Keon, Chris Bachalo, Frank Quitely, Travest Charest, Mark Teixeira, Sam Kieth, John Romita Jr, Bernie Wrightson, Adam Hughs, Joe Kubert, Mike Mignola, Art Adams, Dave Mack,Tim Vigil, Dave Mckean.
Authors/Poets/Philosophers: Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley Mary Shelley, William Shakespeare, Christopher Marlow, Edgar Allen Poe, Walt Whitman, John Keats, Robert Frost, William Blake, Robert Frost, Plato, Sappho, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickenson, Li-Young Lee , Rabindranath Tagore, Homer, Dante Alighieri, ` Friedrich Nietzsche, Rudyard Kipling, Vladimir Nabokov, Edgar Rice Burroughs, H. G. Wells, H. P. Lovecraft, C.S. Lewis, J. R. R. Tolkein, A. E. Milne, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain, Shel Silverstein, Dr. Suess.
Modern Authors: Frank Herbert- The Dune Series. Richard Bach- Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Illusions. Carlos Casteneda- The Teachings of Don Juan serues. Anne Rice- The Vampire Chronicles, Chelsea Quinn Yarbro- The St. Germaine sereies.
Any good eye candy strategically laced with semi-intelligent interviews with semi-intelligent celebrities & some good ole cheap offensive bathroom humor: FHM, Maxim, Stuff, Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy, Perfect 10...

Heroes:


Peter Gabriel, Sting, Ray Charles, James Brown, Lou Reed, Tommy Bolin, David Bowie, Neil Young, Stephen Stills, J. J. Cale, Ry Cooder, John Fogerty, Paul Simon, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, Curtis Mayfield, Marvin Gaye, George Clinton, Prince, Bob Marley, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Chris Isaak, Dave Matthews, David Sanborn, Dizzy Gillespie, Louis Armstrong, Keith Richards, Carlos Santana, Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page, B. B. King, Muddy Waters, Robert Johnson, Elmore James, Alvin Lee, Johnny Winter, Ry Cooder, Stevie Ray Vaughn, George Thorogood, Jake E. Lee, Randy Rhodes, Joe Perry, Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Eddie Van Halen, Edge, Steve Stevens, Steve Miller, Ted Nugent, Angus Young, Dave Mustaine, Andy Taylor, Tom Morello, Dave Navarro, Billie Joe Armstrong, Noodles, Art Alexakis, Brian Setzer, Craig Chaquico, Mark Knopfler, Steven Van Zandt, Dick Dale, Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley.

My Blog

Forgotten

Nobody knowsWhen you're lonely....
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 04:41:00 PST

Compromise

Such is the difference between building bridgesAnd burning them. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:26:00 PST

Inspiration

Jump.Before you fall. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Wed, 18 Apr 2007 01:38:00 PST

Sincerity

Pathetic is a fine lineBetween an apology and an excuse. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 05:42:00 PST

Philosophy

The wisdom o fault. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Sun, 15 Apr 2007 05:39:00 PST

Neglect

The best fruit often dies on the vine. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:23:00 PST

Happy Pills

Ignorance by prescription. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:20:00 PST

Personals

Looking for the wrong peopleIn the wrong places at the wrong time. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:17:00 PST

Sticks & Stones

I never meant to hurt youI only meant to make you cry. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:04:00 PST

Purgatory

All dressed up with no plce to go. ...
Posted by Mr Vertigo on Sun, 04 Feb 2007 06:07:00 PST