MyGen
Profile Generator
Hey, I'm Jesus, and I love you. And you. And you. But not you. I died for you, and I expect you to return the favor. So come to my brothels, which are called "churches" nowadays, and praise my name for two hours every Sunday even though I died two thousand years ago.
Speaking of death, I know you all want to come hang with me once you kick the bucket. Well, here's some general ground rules for getting on the guest list:
1. Don't be a dick
2. Don't steal
3. Don't screw your neighbor's wife
4. Don't look at your neighbor's wife
5. Don't think about your neighbor's wife
6. Try not to have a neighbor with a wife
7. Honor your mother and father. But mostly honor me
8. If it feels good, DON'T DO IT. That's Satan tricking you.
9. Don't use my name in vain, goddammit.
10. Believe in me FOREVER. FOR-EV-ER.
And then you might get to chill with the J-man.
OH, and just a bit about Satan... he's a bad dude and doesn't like you. Don't ask questions.
JESUS POINTS
Jesus Points can be earned by being a good Jesunaught, competing in one of the many Jesus Challenges, or... giving me stuff. What are they used for? Well... I can't tell you until the time comes. Trust me, it'll be important. Just hope that you have enough. GO!!!
LAMOATP - 15
Ivana - 15
Arthur - 15
Hadoken - 11
Keith - 9
Liz - 6
Kate- 5
Britt - 5
Andreas - 5
India - 5
Frenchy - 5
Jeramiah - 3
David - 3
Dani - 2
Jake - 1
Abraham - 1
Xine Amanda - 1
Paul - 1
Nick - 1
James - 1
Get Your Own Voice Player Manage
THE JESUS SONG!!!
Written by Frenchy
When I was on the phone
with my girlfriend at home
there's always one thing i say
in that frightful tone
I tell her "if you love me dear
then why do you pray
with those blacks and gays
down in your baptist church
and therefore mock jesus' name?"
she tells me "baby, it's alright
i pray to god every night"
but i don't trust her way
that's why we broke up today
Cause if you wanna be with me
Catholic is the way to be
For we worship jesus
it's the only thing we see
chorus(For jesus' shiny abs
and his omnipotent prose
they make me quiver in fear
of his awesome man bones
He is my rock
and he should be yours too
but man if you're not
then you'll get yours soon)
a walking down the street
i get the feeling
that they don't understand
his powerful healing
like the cure of my AIDS
and Gonorrhea
(spoken)well yes folks, he even managed to do something more amazing
I was sitting here watching Rev. Robertson and he started talking about the war in Iraq how them Muslims and their foreign bombs are taking our country by the storm. So I prayed real hard to Jesus up their, and you know what? He didn't answer my prayer, but he was just teaching me a message with that, showing me I need to go over into Iraq and kill them fuckin' commies. So I joined the army and grew closer to jesus!(spoken)
(chorus)
