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Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.
Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.
Tequila! ® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
Priest:Like this?(as he touches her hand)
Girl:Yes father.
Priest:That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.
Girl:Then he touched my breast.
Priest:Like this?(as he touched her breast)
Girl:Yes father.
Priest: That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
Girl:Then he took off my clothes, father.
Priest: Like this?(as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: Yes father.
Priest:That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
Girl:Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.
Priest:Like this?(as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl:YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!
Priest: (after a few minutes):That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch.
Girl:But father he had AIDS!
Priest:THAT SON OF A BITCH!
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"A child of the mob once asked an astronomer who the father was who brought him into this world? The scholar pointed to the sky, and to an old man sitting, and said: 'That one there is your body's father, and that your soul's.' To which the boy replied: 'WHAT IS ABOVE US IS OF NO CONCERN TO US, and I'm ashamed to be the child of such an aged man!' O WHAT SUPREME impiety, not to want to recognize your father, and not to think God is your maker
Is [God] willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
Religions are all alike - founded upon fables and mythologies
In no instance have . . . the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people
"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." Treaty of Tripoly, article 11
Faith is believing something you know ain't true.
In God We Trust.' I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.
"In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point.
Which is it, is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's?
It is said that men may not be the dreams of the Gods, but rather that the Gods are the dreams of men
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