Please note: if you post SPAM comments, you will be deleted. I'm serious!! Fuckers.
Why are you such a stupid asshole?
Would you really like to know?
Well, let Evil C. tell you why:
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey.
Be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect.
People can be trusted.
Someday, you will fall in love and have a nice quiet home of your very own.
Free from all the pain.
Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened...did it?
The details of my life are quite inconsequential....where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
My objective is simple: world domination. There is one thing that most evil-doers cannot abide, and that is happiness. Cheerfulness, contentedness, warm-fuzzy-I-love-you-ness, call it what you will.
It's horrid. Wretched. And it must be stopped.
Evil-doers try to attempt this in many ways, thus focusing their efforts on general badness and the spreading of widespread misery. To turn that smile upside-down into one big unhappy frown, and overall just make the world a worse place.
Oh, and I also like strippers and/or professional sex workers with big breastesses and big round buttocks. I hate fake boobs.
By the way, I love Sriracha hot sauce.
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
Onionbooty.com.
Brian Fellow, Alizée Jacotey,Miosotis, Cthulu, Ewa Sonnet , Joe Yayo , the Bang Bros, Goatse , Kacey the pornstar , Vlad the Impaler, C. Gunnz , Christy Canyon , Traci Lords (pre-1986), Charles Manson, Igor from Voyeurweb and Redclouds, Chingo Bling , Joseph Stalin, Eddie Deville , Cain, Henry Lee Lucas, Stunta the Bad Guy , Jack the Ripper, BadApple , Genghis Khan, Elizabeth Bathory, Dalila Bling, Ivan the Terrible, TW Girl and GFilms .
Sarah Silverman is the best!
April Flores:
I love ChristinaModel: The best dancer in the world!!!
Sweet Kacey!!
Ewa Sonnet!
Gianna!!
"The Exorcist" soundtrack, "The Omen" soundtrack, Venom, Strapping Young Lad, Devastation , Dark Angel, Death, Exodus, Metallica (circa 1983-1986), Sarah McLachlan, Messhugah, Beth Orton, Malevolent Creation, Misfits, Sepultura (with Max), Morbid Angel, Demolition Hammer, Exhorder, Zero Sequence, dead horse. I can't lie: I'm old-school and old-school metal is the best. The stuff out today all sounds the same.
Oh and anything produced by Coast, Eddie DeVille and Chingo Bling.
WWW.CHINGOBLING.COM
Anything by Paul Thomas Anderson or Darren Aronofsky. Anything in the following genres: horror, scat, snuff, goatse and bukkake.
I stopped watching regular television years ago. I will not watch TV again until the day that the networks begin showing porn. Well...sometimes I watch 30 Rock.
The Alphabet of Manliness. I'm OK - You're OK, How to Kill Those You Hate and Get Away With It, Chicken Soup for the Soul. "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller. "The 120 Days of Sodom" by Marquis De Sade.
Cliff Burton, Evil Chuck Schuldiner, Nikola Tesla, Bill Hicks, Randy Rhoads, Howard Philips Lovecraft, Joe Yayo, Bill Gates, The Ancient Ones, Gene Hoglan, Travis Bickle, C. Gunnz, Steve DiGiorgio, Tyler Durden, Stunta, Ron Jeremy, Max Cady, Massa Mohawk, Coast, Nacho Vidal...and the adversary, archfiend, beast, Beelzebub, Belial, brute, common enemy, dastard, diablo, bybbuk, enfant terrible, Evil One, fiend, hellion, imp, knave, leviathan, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, monster, ogre, rogue, scamp, scoundrel, sin and villian also known as SATAN!!!!!!!!!