EvilCarlos profile picture

EvilCarlos

Currently driving from Houston, Texas to Santa Clara, California

About Me

I'm currently signed to Street Science Management. Shout outs to Jessica and Gfilms for picking me up. Be on the look out for my mixtape: Evil never dies - coming soon.
Where do I begin?? My personal qualities are such that I lean towards causing injury and mischief. I am proud to have and exhibit bad moral qualities. I am morally corrupt, wicked and vicious. I threaten and produce sorrow, distress, injury, and/or calamity. I enjoy anything which impairs the happiness of a being or deprives a being of any good; anything which causes suffering of any kind to sentient beings - it is more than a hobby - it's a way of life. But being evil is actually so much more than all that. It is wickedness, malevolence, the desire to do people wrong. To take power for yourself at the expense of others, and then using it in the most ruthless and vile of ways. It is hurting people for no good reason at all, horrifically destroying their lives and then jumping up on down on their corpses. It is hatred and wrath and rage.
To summarize it all: I hate to love and I love to hate.
I am uncut: I'm keeping it real. Uncircumcised and proud. One can never be too rich or have too much foreskin. Circumcision is genital mutilation.
There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused...and my utter indifference toward it,I have now surpassed.
My pain is constant and sharp...and I do not hope for a better world for anyone. In fact, I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape.
But even after admitting this,there is no catharsis. My punishment continues to elude me...and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself.
No new knowledge can be extracted from my telling.
This confession has meant... nothing.
All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I do what I want to do. I look like I want to look, I fuck like you want to fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not. I'm in progression while you regress in idolatry. I'm reading what I want to read, you read what you're expected to. I'm thinking what I want to think, as your mind denies the truth.
Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship,and about love.
Do as thou wilt, shall be the whole of the law.
I am heartless, you will fear me day and night. I reek of putrid mentality and my aura's exuding might. There is no way to stop me, so consider what you try and just remember that I am me and I stand not by your side. My mind retains no sympathy and it's banished love, too. My lowest retaliation keeps me over you.
Give and take is not how I live, when I fucking take, you'd better give.
Evil Carlos wears GoatsePolo exclusively.
I'm a proud teetotaler.

My Interests

Please note: if you post SPAM comments, you will be deleted. I'm serious!! Fuckers.
Why are you such a stupid asshole?
Would you really like to know?
Well, let Evil C. tell you why:
You went to school where you were taught to fear and to obey.
Be cheerful, fit in, or someone might think you're weird.
Life can be perfect.
People can be trusted.
Someday, you will fall in love and have a nice quiet home of your very own.
Free from all the pain.
Happy and having fun all the time.
It never happened...did it?
The details of my life are quite inconsequential....where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
My objective is simple: world domination. There is one thing that most evil-doers cannot abide, and that is happiness. Cheerfulness, contentedness, warm-fuzzy-I-love-you-ness, call it what you will.
It's horrid. Wretched. And it must be stopped.
Evil-doers try to attempt this in many ways, thus focusing their efforts on general badness and the spreading of widespread misery. To turn that smile upside-down into one big unhappy frown, and overall just make the world a worse place.
Oh, and I also like strippers and/or professional sex workers with big breastesses and big round buttocks. I hate fake boobs.
By the way, I love Sriracha hot sauce.
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.
Onionbooty.com.

I'd like to meet:

Brian Fellow, Alizée Jacotey,Miosotis, Cthulu, Ewa Sonnet , Joe Yayo , the Bang Bros, Goatse , Kacey the pornstar , Vlad the Impaler, C. Gunnz , Christy Canyon , Traci Lords (pre-1986), Charles Manson, Igor from Voyeurweb and Redclouds, Chingo Bling , Joseph Stalin, Eddie Deville , Cain, Henry Lee Lucas, Stunta the Bad Guy , Jack the Ripper, BadApple , Genghis Khan, Elizabeth Bathory, Dalila Bling, Ivan the Terrible, TW Girl and GFilms .
Sarah Silverman is the best!
April Flores:

I love ChristinaModel: The best dancer in the world!!!

Sweet Kacey!!
Ewa Sonnet! Gianna!!

Music:


"The Exorcist" soundtrack, "The Omen" soundtrack, Venom, Strapping Young Lad, Devastation , Dark Angel, Death, Exodus, Metallica (circa 1983-1986), Sarah McLachlan, Messhugah, Beth Orton, Malevolent Creation, Misfits, Sepultura (with Max), Morbid Angel, Demolition Hammer, Exhorder, Zero Sequence, dead horse. I can't lie: I'm old-school and old-school metal is the best. The stuff out today all sounds the same.
Oh and anything produced by Coast, Eddie DeVille and Chingo Bling.
WWW.CHINGOBLING.COM

Movies:

Anything by Paul Thomas Anderson or Darren Aronofsky. Anything in the following genres: horror, scat, snuff, goatse and bukkake.

Television:

I stopped watching regular television years ago. I will not watch TV again until the day that the networks begin showing porn. Well...sometimes I watch 30 Rock.

Books:

The Alphabet of Manliness. I'm OK - You're OK, How to Kill Those You Hate and Get Away With It, Chicken Soup for the Soul. "Something Happened" by Joseph Heller. "The 120 Days of Sodom" by Marquis De Sade.

Heroes:

Cliff Burton, Evil Chuck Schuldiner, Nikola Tesla, Bill Hicks, Randy Rhoads, Howard Philips Lovecraft, Joe Yayo, Bill Gates, The Ancient Ones, Gene Hoglan, Travis Bickle, C. Gunnz, Steve DiGiorgio, Tyler Durden, Stunta, Ron Jeremy, Max Cady, Massa Mohawk, Coast, Nacho Vidal...and the adversary, archfiend, beast, Beelzebub, Belial, brute, common enemy, dastard, diablo, bybbuk, enfant terrible, Evil One, fiend, hellion, imp, knave, leviathan, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, monster, ogre, rogue, scamp, scoundrel, sin and villian also known as SATAN!!!!!!!!!

My Blog

Life

Nobody deserves anything. Nobody doesn't deserve anything. There are hard working people who succeed and some who never get a break. There are smart people who make it and some who don't. There are...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:15:00 PST

Fuck You Airline Motherfuckers!

Listen up, bitch-ass fools. When it comes to booking airline tickets on the Internet, King Kong ain't got shit on me. I'm the baddest motherfucker in the land, and I don't take no for an answer. I did...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Mon, 12 May 2008 08:57:00 PST

50 Words That Women Hate

50. Pubes49. Leakage48. Taint47. Squirt46. Fupa45. Whore44. Discharge43. Camel Toe*42. Feedbags41. Mammoth40. Pussy 39. Breakout38. Muff37. Loose36. Jolie35. Blowjobs34. Retention33. Pre-Nuptual32. Bl...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:36:00 PST

Cool words to use in a conversation.

Tripsolagnophilia (TRIP-suh-LAG-nuh-FIL-ee-uh) - The desire to obtain sexual pleasure from massage. Coitobalnism (KOH-i-toh-BAL-niz’m) - Sex in the bath or shower. Sacifricosis (SAK-oh-fri-KOH...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Fri, 14 Mar 2008 07:42:00 PST

Houston: we have a problem!!!

Another Christmas gone, another year coming to an end. Out with the old, in with the new.I'm not much into making New Year's resolutions. But I do have a new resolution that should make Harris Co...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 08:18:00 PST

The Rules of the Gentleman

I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letter...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 07:38:00 PST

Guilty as charged!

I stand before you today accused of wrongdoing, with my reputation called into question before the entire community. But in truth, I am no more guilty of a crime than any other man in this courtroom. ...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Thu, 24 May 2007 02:54:00 PST

The Evolution of a Stripper

Here's what goes through a woman's mind as she evolves into a stripper: 1. I heard waitresses make good money at these clubs.2. Me?? No way!  I could never get on stage!!3. Well, I do have a good...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Sun, 25 Mar 2007 04:04:00 PST

What is Evil C doing with his right hand??

For those of you who do not know the meaning of the hand gesture in my profile pic, it is called "the shocker." The shocker is a hand gesture with a sexual connotation. The ring finger and thumb are...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Sun, 21 Jan 2007 05:56:00 PST

Facts of life...

Life is not fair; get used to it. The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.   You will NOT make 40 thous...
Posted by EvilCarlos on Fri, 17 Nov 2006 06:11:00 PST