Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President

About Me

2 eyes, 2 ears, a mouth, a nose, delicious brains (if you're undead and reading this, then move along. They're mine). Sarcastic, yet charming. Witty, yet serial! Lemon-fresh scented, often imitated, never duplicated, blah blah. Look...I can type anything I want here. The fact of the matter is, I could be a patient at Franklin R. Nutters Psychiatric Asylum using his 1-hour a day computer time to learn to "socialize" on the internet, or I could be the guy who invented the Pocket Pussy. Yoo don't know, and probably never will unless yoo simply ask. I am not going to type anything meaningful or insightful here, because I am neither of those things. To me, you're all hamsters running around a maze looking for the spot yoo won't get shocked by electricity. Prove to me you're the person holding the switch and we MAY have something in common. Oh...and the funniest name I ever heard was "Dick Nasty."

My Interests

Sushi, moving the Earth out of the sun's orbit just for my own amusement, Seagrams 7 and 7-Up, black coffee with Frangelico, and I am currently working on a device that will remove the world's punctuation. Imagine a world where there are no commas and periods. It shall be chaos.

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet any girl on MySpace with absolutely no self-respect, no morals, and no gag-reflex. A girl who doesn't mind the ol' "knuckle-duster up her poop-chute" every now and again. Your opinions are not necessary, only whether yoo spit or swallow my kids is what's important. I want a girl who'll believe me if I told her rain wasn't wet. I like to use girls, tell my friends about it, then kick them out of my car in scathy neighborhoods. Hey...at least I'm honest about being full of shit. For this and other assorted poisonous insults, please feel free to IM me at: "EvilDWO."TRANSLATION IN STATEN ISLANDISH:YoOoO!!! WuD uP hOneYs!!! ThIs HeA bE HoLlYwOoD!!! ThAt'S "H" tO tHe wOoDy Fo' yOu HoTtIeS oUt DeRe!!! LoOkIn Fo' A cUtE LiL ChIkA tO cHiLl WiT iN mAh SiCk CaMrY!!! OoOoOoOo...I dId A sIt-Up AnD nOw I gOtZ dA iLlEsT bOdY!!!HiT mE uP aT eViLdWo, bIzNaTcHeS!!!
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adopt your own virtual pet!

Music:

Anything 80's (U2, Roxette, Guns N' Roses, Depeche Mode, Duran Duran, Genesis, etc.) As well as the 90's (The Wallflowers, Blink 182, Smashing Pumpkins, Shawn Mullins, Foo Fighters, Green Day, etc.) Current stuff I like is Nickelback, Jay-Z, Audioslave, Linkin Park, Incubus, and Nelly Furtado. On a side note, I'm a big fan of ColdPlay, A Perfect Circle, Frank Sinatra, and Staind.

Movies:

Star Trek, Star Wars, Batman, Harry Potter, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Peter Pan, The Addams Family, Back To The Future, Underworld, Aladdin, Friday The 13th, Casino, and Goodfellas

Television:

DuckTales, Justice League, The X-Files, Smallville, Law & Order, The Sopranos, Entourage, Family Guy, Futurama, Robot Chicken, Metalocalypse, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Countdown w/ Keith Olbermann and though I like pro-wrestling, I haven't watched an airing of Raw or Smackdown since both shows started SUCKING.

Books:

I have alot so I'll just go and name a few "club favorites": Lex Luthor: The Unauthorized Biography, Sex, Lies, & Headlocks: The Real Story Of Vince McMahon and The World Wrestling Federation, Star Trek: Millennium, Wicked, and Captain Hook: The Adventures of a Notorious Youth

Heroes:

My Blog

...are yoo effing KIDDING me?!?!?

This comes from www.prowrestling.com. I say this, because I simply do not watch Raw, Smackdown, or "Paul Heyman's Bastardized Dream" of ECW. Apparently this was announced last night:Vince says earlier...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Tue, 27 May 2008 02:16:00 PST

Simply put: The Best Posting In The History Of Postings

Ladies and gentlemen...but not limited to Chris.This has got to be the most bitter rant I have ever read. Ever. I tip my proverbial hat to whomever wrote this. Truly, a remarkable piece of l...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Mon, 26 May 2008 11:04:00 PST

Jim Ross "weighs in" on the Hulk Hogan situation

Well it looks like The Tubby Sauce Man thinks poor Nick Hogan getting 8 months in jail was rather harsh. Mind you, the guy will never walk again, and is currently living with tubes in him. I'd also li...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Fri, 16 May 2008 10:34:00 PST

A Tribute To Little Mac

I just spent an hour and a half in a car going between Williamsburg, Brooklyn to Staten Island with my grandmother. She told me a story I felt the need to share with yoo. Actually, she tells me this s...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Sat, 10 May 2008 01:54:00 PST

Dean’s Guide To Surviving In New York

"Rats may be a pestilence, but they can be used as pets...as well as being quite a delicious meal on a cold New York night." ~ DeanThe above excerpt is from my new book...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Fri, 09 May 2008 05:39:00 PST

Deans Family Tree

Ladies and gentlemen...and yoo. Yeah, yoo. :::points to guy holding drumsticks:::I would like to formally dispute these claims that I am not a Staten Island-born citizen in my campaign to become borou...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Sun, 04 May 2008 05:28:00 PST

New links on big fat Jim Ross’s big fat website

Ladies and gentlemen...AND THOSE OF A DUBIOUS NATURE (feel better, now, Chris? Oh wait I dropped a name...AIN'T I A SILLY BILLY?!?!? LOLLIEZZZZ!!!!!1111~~~~)I hopped on over to "Jim Ross's Barbecue Sa...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Thu, 01 May 2008 09:02:00 PST

Cloverfield Theories (for those of yoo who saw it)

Ladies and gentlemen......and Chris.After having purchased the DVD "Cloverfield," and having seen it in the movies, I believe it necessary to postulate theories of the monster's origin. Baffling? To m...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Fri, 25 Apr 2008 11:49:00 PST

ARRRR, ME MATEYS!! ’TIS A DEAN BLARGH ON THE HORIZON!!!

Ahoy, wrestling fans. Been awhile since I've written a heartfelt and meaningful blargh......so why not start off with more headaches for Jimmy "Half-Eye" Ross?Now if yoo happen to stop by his barbecue...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Sat, 19 Apr 2008 12:16:00 PST

News, notes, Jim Ross bashings, biographies...THIS BLOG HAS IT ALL, BABY!!!

Ladies and gentlemen.Before we get started, I'd like to show a sentence that really needs no explanation. This gem comes from our friend Chris, via AOL Instant Messenger: "i was a pretty coo...
Posted by Hollywood Dean for SI Borough President on Sun, 10 Feb 2008 07:40:00 PST