About Me
The truth about The Legendary Ether Pony
Creation of music by successive subtraction of substandard frequencies from a pan-frequential "white noise" baseCasual observers, if they notice them at all, will doubtless assume that "Swoon 23" are a rock band like any other-- posessing a novel and inventive sound, perhaps, but other than that undistinguished in methodology and origin. Nothing could be further from the truth. This "band" is in fact the product of a revolutionary 4-year scientific project at the Princeton Institute for Advanced Study. Code-named "SWOON" (for "Sound Wrought Out Of Noise"), the project has resulted in the first rock album to be generated entirely by well-understood scientific principles.Researchers used as their starting point a 66-minute sampling of a "white noise" signal, composed of all frequencies at equal levels. This base signal was called Swoon 1. Signals of comparable length ("albums") were then collected from popular music, and those frequency patterns were digitally "subtracted" from from the base signal. After a series of 20 such subtractions, representing the eradications of all frequency patterns corresponding to the "Billboard Top 20," the remainder, to the researchers' mild surprise, proved to have strong musical qualities in its own right. However, the signal, called Swoon 21, was still a bit strident and grating. Playing a hunch, project leader Dr. Abraham Stoner suggested that the frequency pattern corresponding to Alanis Morrisette's "Jagged Little Pill," code-named "BANDSAW," be subtracted _again_. The resulting signal, Swoon 22, was a pleasant, gently psychedelic melange arranged into series of 12 coherent compositions which were, unsurprisingly, unlike anything else on commercial alternative radio.The team congratulated each other, published their results, and there the matter might have ended, were it not for budgetary cuts at the National Science Foundation. Faced with the loss of funding for continuing research, Stoner had a daring idea-- why not actually release the result of the Swoon project as an actual rock album?Unfortunately, as Stoner now admits, his genius in the field of theoretical acoustics did not translate into music-industry savvy. "I approached several record label executives," he says ruefully, "who informed me that no one wanted to see a video consisting of four or five bald guys in lab coats sitting around reading 'Dilbert.' Also, they were afraid we'd be mistaken for Devo."Realizing that the creation of an actual band to play the compositions would be necessary, Stoner elected to use a similar subtractive process to select the group's line-up. Five hundred and four members of the lucrative 18-to-29-year-old demographic group were selected at random and herded into a large gymnasium, where they were supplied with copious quantities of alcohol, a light show, and some phat beats courtesy of DJ Dr. Anand V. Chandrasekar, another member of the project team. By the end of three hours, only four had not been asked to dance-- Megan Pickerel (lead vocal and guitar), Michael "Spike" Keating (guitar and vocals), Jeff Studebaker (guitar and vocals), and Marty "Arty Pop" Smith (drums).This lineup headed into Easley Studios in Memphis to record as the final incarnation of the project, Swoon 23. The resultant album was named "The Legendary Ether Pony," a title selected by a Cray supercomputer as the "last possible name anybody would pick for their album." It was released by Tim/Kerr Records in September.The recording has already become a favorite of scientists at the Institute, and it can often be heard echoing throughout the halls and laboratories of the Main Research building."I have trouble identifying with bands like Sublime and Gravity Kills," says Dexter G. Leenis, a theoretical physicist at the Institute. "But when I listen to this music, I don't feel like the people playing it would kick my ass and call me 'pussy' if they ever met me personally. That's important to me."Asked how he felt about the record, another Institute scientist, Dr. Halton Lilly, noted, "This is the kind of music you put on when you meet some strikingly attractive person in a club who you know is a lot stranger and more intense than you are, but who for some reason agrees to come back to your place, and you know that it will never really work out, but for now it's magical, and later you can put it in that novel that you've been meaning to write." The doctor, who was nude, then shuffled back the pharmaceutical research lab where he works.Future plans for the Swoon project team include genetically engineering a bass player and lobotomizing the drummer (for the third time) "to get that fat, monster kick-drum sound."
