I am the type of guy that get his rocks off by rubbing up against little kids on the bus, either boys or girls (they all look the same at a young age). If I can't find any young boys or girls to hump then I can work with a old person (again boy or girl, they look the same at that age). When I am not humping old people and kids I like to watch Hannah Montana and Steve Wilkos (I am the type of guy that gets off on being told that I am dirty old man).
When I was younger I use to light cats on fire(cats drull and dogs rule). I soon moved on to actually human beings. I once burned off this dudes penis because he wanted me to suck him off. When he pulled it out I lit his cock on fire. The dude was running around screaming help, it was a stich. By the age of five I was doing herion and meth with my mom. At the age of seven I was a user and a loser. I went to rehab in first grade and got clean. I only smoke pot now and that is to make the voices stop. I once tripped on pcp and saw Andy Samberg, that was the greatest moment in my life. He told me that I'm to become the next great leader of the free world. So this is my bid for The President of the United States of America (Vote for me 2012). Here is my plan for the economy:
I believe that america should sell crack to Canada and Mexico. Once hooked on the shit they will be bugging us all the time for it. Both countries will soon go banckrupt, having giving us all thier money for crack. Once this countries are addicted and out of money we will swoop in and take control. Also I believe that we should start selling our women to other countries. American women are the hottest women in the world and are high on the market when it comes to sex. So I propose a national government run worldwide hooker serive. As persident I will roam the streets and find only the best women and recruit them to do this duty. If any women refuse my offer she will fined and killed.
Iraq:
We will sell crack to the middle east. Once hooked and out of money the countries will have to start giving us oil for the crack. Out gas prices will drop. Imagine, .20 a gallon, what a bargin.
Drugs:
With all that said I think that America has a drug problem that we need to adress and take care of. The problem being that instead of sellng this drugs to other countries we are using them ourselves. As a nation we need to stop being greedy and share the good shit. Why should we be the only country that is hooked.
Question:
Now I know what you all are thinking. Arn't you more of a pimp then say a president? Well yes and no. If you call forcing women to have sex for money being a pimp, then yes. If you call selling large amounts of drugs to other countries pimping, then yes. I you call making sure that America has enough to eat and survives pimping, then yes. If you call me having to get rough with the ungratful side of america pimping, then yes. I you call enjoying doing this stuff pimping, then no. Trust me America to have to do this to you is going to hurt me more then it will you.
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