Da-Emska

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I am a small Ant who has never travelled outside the hundred acre wood but dreams that there is a better world somewhere in which the word 'squish' means a chocolate-coated truffle delicately marinated in jack daniels. My ability to sightsee is hampered by my contractual obligations to my nine aunts and webbed feet cousins and also by the fact that I have no eyes or ears. I am actually much older than I look but was cursed by a cockatoo to always be a minor as a punishment for trying to help the cockatoo across a busy road which it did not want to cross and in doing so lost a feather. My ambition is to one day become a famous taxidermist. Take a Bow Bitches whilst i look up your skirts! and in return i will indeed Curtsy..Ahem.Of course thats all a load of big fat hairy bollocks, So if you want to know anything about me then ask. Alice Claaa ladies...