The Reverend Spadge Dooley

THE Reverend Spadge Dooley founded the Church of the Awesome Machine Accidental as a vehicle for his own expression and profit, it now forms the core equity in Spadge Dooley Religions Inc. The Reverend Spadge Dooley is undisputed Chief Executive Officer of the Church of the Awesome Machine Accidental and all its subsiduaries - he brooks no dissent and rules with an iron fist in a teflon glove. The music of the Church is recorded by The Reverend Spadge Dooley with the help of his disciples, accolytes and adherents. Church headquarters are in Newent, Gloucestershire and Flaxley Gloucestershire, there are branches of the Church in Tottenham and Caerdydd (Cardiff). The Cathedral of the Church and site of all Accidental Knowing is the summit of May Hill in Gloucestershire. As the Church of the Awesome Machine Accidental is yet to be adopted as the national religion of any country, the church has adopted its own country: Wales, incorporating Gloucestershire to the River Severn. Once there was no Church of the Awesome Machine Accidental and no The Reverend Spadge Dooley, there was simply an Awesome Accidental Machine and Spadge Dooley. As editor of The Daily Liar, one of our nation's finest, most-respected and predictably despicable newspapers Spadge was for many years happy to succeed in his chosen profession. However, the viccissitudes of the journalistic life took their toll upon Spadge, who become a truly magnificent alchoholic and polymorphous pervert. Granted special leave from the Liar after a spectacular but unsuccesful attempt to interview a man claiming to be the returning Angry Veangeful Jesus - "This time it's personal" - Spadge found himself screwed up, chucked out and washed up. He returned to his birthplace, Newent in Gloucestershire. Here he wandered and walked and wondered and worried in search of peace. While walking through woodlands close to May Hill (by the Garlic Dippy, near the Verve Clique Hole), he heard someone calling his name. Or so he thought. The noise was that of a feral child. The boy had somehow arrived in a badgers' sett and been raised there by friendly Brock, who is our brother. The child had taken on some of his new family's appearance - his face was daubed in the black and white stripe - and lost most of the few words his human parents had given him. He had not cried Spadge, but was trying to call his badger parents with the help of some apparatus. A cursory search of the copse soon revealed the corpses of the boy's tribe, killed in all probability by the Taynton and Glasshouse Badger Hund - a peculiarly unpleasant group of semi-nomadic blood sport enthusiasts ready to prey on any creature the law would allow. The boy needed help and Spadge gathered him to his pigeon chest, collected the apparatus, strewn where the Hund had left it, and returned to his temporary bivouac on the summit of May Hill. There, he realised what he had found. A cache of homemade synthesisers, clickers, bangers, whirrers, reverberators and other equipment left by Newent's most famous son, Robert George "Joe" Meek. Working with the badger boy, soon renamed Little Spadge, and after ingesting certain May Hillian fungi Spadge Dooley died and The Reverend Spadge Dooley was born. Gathering speckled feckless fuckers around him as he preached his fire and brimstone message of randomness around the Forest of Dean Dooley soon had a small religion on his hands. Thus was born The Church of the Awesome Machine Accidental, which soon welcomed to its twisted bosom Cardinal Ifan Spazmo, Doctor Ace Space-Face and the lovely Sister Madge Dooley. The church grows, as churches do, and is happy to receive applications for membership or officer status. The noise is just the noise. The rest is mystery.