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<a
you want this banner on your shitty profile ? Go there .
MUSIK INDUSTRY
Bonjour à tous et bienvenue à cette visite
de la rédaction de Musik Industry !
Vous avez été nombreux à découvrir le fonctionnement de notre webzine ainsi que la logique qui le régit, et je vous félicite de votre perspicacité. Plutôt que de continuer à voir s’épandre rumeurs et informations compromettantes, nous avons décidé de tout vous dévoiler.
Tout d’abord Musik Industry est détenu à hauteur de 34% par Marc Dorcel Videos. Vous comprenez donc qu’il ne nous était pas possible d’éviter un habillage quelque peu léger, baptisé « nichon et paillette » par Jacques Séguéla, notre conseiller en communication.
Etant tous célibataires et fans inconditionnels de films pornos, cette situation nous ravit, car elle nous permet de nous adonner à notre passion fédératrice : la masturbation.
Ensuite, le recrutement des chroniqueurs se fait essentiellement à la sortie du CM2, mais la sélection est stricte : il faut savoir écrire « sodomie » et connaître par c..ur les spectacles de Jean-Marie Bigard pour faire partie de la rédaction. Après un bizutage à la bière où le nombre exact de boutons d’acné du nouveau est comptabilisé, un contrat est signé entre Musik Industry et la recrue pour une durée de 3 ans.
Au quotidien, le partage des chroniques et le regard que nous portons sur le travail de nos collègues est acerbe. Car nous sommes à Musik industry pour être invité à des fêtes VIP partout en France, sniffer de la coke et sauter des putes de luxe subjuguées par nos talents. Chacun des chroniqueurs espère que Musik Industry représentera la naissance de sa gloire, et nous nous battons chaque jour pour assurer une certaine supériorité personnelle au sein de la rédaction. Généralement, les susceptibilités étant trop fortes, tout se finit par un concours de la plus grosse bite que je gagne haut la main. Le vainqueur inflige à ses camarades un bukkake en citant sa phrase préférée de Cauet. Par ailleurs, nous sommes unanimement fans d’Anne Roumanoff.
Enfin soyons clairs : on s’en branle de la musique sous toutes ses coutures. Rien à foutre on est pas des passionnés. Comme je vous l’ai déjà dit, on cherche simplement à niquer et sniffer parce qu’on a conscience d’avoir de l’or en barre entre les mains. On essaye juste d’en parler pour se donner des airs de respectabilité, mais dans le fond, c’est juste qu’on a pas les couilles de monter un site ouvertement pornographique, alors on cause musique faute de mieux. Mais l’adjonction d’une rubrique « Jeux Vidéos » vous a certainement mis la puce à l’oreille sur la réalité de nos desseins : promouvoir le nerd au rang de héros dans notre société.
Voilà vous savez tout ou presque. J’espère que cette visite vous aura permis de nous comprendre et d’engendrer, à l’avenir, des discussions constructives entre nous. Ce serait trop bête que des malentendus subsistent.
SUPPORT - SUPPORT - SUPPORT - SUPPORT:
we're listening to :
7 seconds
88 fingers louie
21 meadow street
above this fire
age of ruin
alex is on fire
amen ra
arkangel
as I lay dying
at the drive in
backfire!
bane
bayside
beneath the ashes
black my heart
blood 4 blood
bloodlined calligraphy
born from pain
botch
breather resist
bridge to solace
buried alive
buried inside
bury your dead
casey jones
cdc
champion
children of gaia
comeback kid
comity
converge
daturah
death cab 4 cutie
downset
endstand
envy
every time I die
fear before the march of flame
federal
fire at will
firstblood
from autumn to ashes
hatebreed
he is legend
himsa
j’n
kickback
killswitch engage
knut
liu kang
love hope and fear
love is red
mastodon
mc jean gabin
me first and the gimme gimmes
misconduct
morning again
most precious blood
much the same
naiad
nine eleven
no innocent victim
norma jean
not enought
no trigger
oldman gloom
open hand
parkway drive
path of resistance
pony pony run run
primal age
psyopus
queens of the stone age
racial abuse
rage against the machine
refused
revive
rise against
seekers of the truth
sentence
settle the score
sequoia
shelter
shora
strike anywhere
sworn enemy
system of a down
terror
the bled
the chariot
the copperpot journals
the difference
the get up kids
the red chord
the mars volta
these arms are snakes
thirty called arson
undying
unfold
uphill battle
vanilla ice
walls of Jericho
will haven
with honor
xbishopx
xuprightsx
xtyrantx
DISTRO
GOODIES
musik industry is :
denis
manu
alex
thibault
jAck
amnon
robin
gail
romain
pierre jean
aka47
bloody udall
seb
fred
Vic MacKey
Al Swearengen