i am a artistic savage who weeps in her glory, a indigenous poet who has swam a thousand seas behind the fate of her destined story... i am that regal apprentice now turned queen , fatefully awaited to collide into the heavens of nirvana then her eternal king ...take me as i am ... a passion once lived now to redeem i am...your royal requiem for a dream
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from every word i write, every note i sound... i do, not to teach or preach... simply to convey thy experiences of a heart into beauty... my god given speech, for i feel it so profound. the words i write, these words i lived. may you ponder ever so swiftly... or resonate deep with this gift, to you i so passionately give..... nameste . . . . . . . .
" so many years of fighting... the struggle beyond hunger to feed a dichotomized soul. these bloody knuckles brazen down... then slowly dip inward, turning to a shade of luscious solid gold. reflecting the rise then demise of such hidden pride. just one more war, i shine... yet still silently a thousand battles left to unfold. my stance carries on into the solemn breath of the wind, succeeding such karmic debt i ebonize the tar oozing from your ambiguous skin... dipping inward more and more. i move vastly against the grain, the sweetness of your blood dripping down along to the curve of my tongue... only to taste of the same, but it's in the whisper of your scented feared eyes... for i now know, through my darkened soul it is no longer in vain..." ~kiki t. ©2007 . . . . . . . . . . .
om tare tuttare ture svaha om tare tuttare ture svaha om tare tuttare ture svaha om shanti shanti shanti . . . . . . . . . . . ." a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. "
~Lao Tzu. . .
" What you want might make you cry
What you need might pass you by
If you don't catch it,
If you don't catch it,
And what you need ironically
Will turn out what you want to be
If you just let it,
If you just let it "
Lauryn Hill. . . . . . . . .
spiritual leader THICH NHAT HANH " the ultimate joy is no fear. when you have the insight of no fear, you are free."
om mani padme hung
. . . . . . . . . " one glimpse as your eyes turn wide and confide all those tales you've told... as you slide by my side yet hide what you truly hold. oh your stare... it flutters in the depth of my intrigued gaze, amazed, with this... crazed upturn smile, all the while playing my mind like a golden coy in a maze swimming upstream for so so many miles. so calm i do not speak at your presence or leak your desire, i turn my cheek and raise... higher off the ground you have bound me to. how profound, only for you to pull me down to place this bejeweled crown, upon my clouded vision. i begin to enter your subliminal prison and feed the mouths that have one mission... discretion, obsession, no confession of what you truly feel. only to peel away the layers of my prayers of a done deal i must kneel to, feel blue. where is my faith... how the fuck do i trust you... and all the things you bestow? the looks in your eyes tell wise lies and sing my fate ten times unfold. it is cold in these nasty thoughts that has fought so long with this shield of metal, hidden so well by grace and precious rose petals. seduced by your scent... so intense... i repent darkness from adolescence, and thrive on your very future absence. " ~kiki t. COPYRIGHT©2004. . . " I am now learning... for that there is no way to happiness, happiness... is the way. " ~lau tzu . . .
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" Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. " ~kahlil gibran . . . . . . . . .
writing and the arts in every aspect is a undeniable passion of mine whether I'm creating something beautiful or admiring it; people, nature, the human spirit. beauty to me is a source of inspiration for when your eyes or ears behold a vision or sound so profound it triggers an emotion deep beneath your core. in some way or another there is ultimate reaction. people may experience this through the realms of like, love, admiration, bliss, or perhaps obsession. on the negative end of the spectrum, envy, jealousy, animosity, even hatred can arise. although it is hard to appreciate when one lives to serve the ego that covers such insecurities. we all have them, it is just a matter of remembering what is truly essential to our well being. I myself, had discovered immense pain at a rather young age and through many years of flowing in and out like the tides of a turbulent ocean, I've come to understand that self love is the most beautiful thing of all. finally in reach of the shore ahead, such gumption fills my core with greater depth than one can ever imagine. the journey of such an attainment can be doubting at times and difficult to grasp, but the most priceless thing life can offer once realized. a person had came into my life a long time ago helping me realize it is the simple things in life that really matter, that feed the fundamentals of our existence. for gratitude is important, appreciation is everything. when you truly come to understand who you are you learn to respect your needs, wants, when or when not to push the envelope. the desire to fulfill the ego then gently subsides... your eyes open, beauty is before you, all around you, comes from you. I love authenticity, reading in between the lines, intelligence, humor, depth, grit n' grind, speed, sensuality, passion, sexiness, beauty and to be surrounded in it, kindness, most of all INTEGRITY. I despise the narrow and weak minded. ~kiki t.
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" There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. "~anais nin . . . . . . . . .dichotomic . ambiguous . dualistic
quixotic . . . . . . . . . searching for more searching far beyond this world . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
As I kneel and deal, so heavy… I feel, so alone. in the depths of darkness in this vast hole that swallows me in… ambiguity of thoughts, do i drown or swim through seedy blacken seas I float abyss in the roundness of empty sin… wondering why shadows leave their mark, lashing on thy soul, footprints of sweat and blood lingering on always baring where I've been… through time and again I imagine, is this what I truly create, through these god given hands… do I choose to build or continue to annihilate… in destruction of my truth, this unruly doubted fate… to rip the seams apart, then pull back to mend the hearts of such insidious proof, in obstruction of my truth… how the fuck do I get out of here, god… tell me… how the fuck… do i get out of here, how do I realize and understand the masochism of such tainted fear… the ebb and flow of unrequited salted tears, tracing beyond the horizon, unfolding back all the years to where the waves glisten and the glorious sun shines down on me… to crown all what is possibly to be… this beautiful place inside thy mind, this beautiful face behind the residue that has encrusted upon time and time… provoked thoughts rusted with guilt and grime… insatiable hunger, pain reflected deep within the brown eyes of this lonely concubine…" ~kiki t. COPYRIGHT©2006
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in my dreams i see further, further than ever before... mist arise, sudden surprise... although i then awake to this earth, a bigger illusion even more...
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. . . " when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. " . . . " abundance is not something we acquire, it is something we tune into. " . . . " how people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours. " Wayne Dyer . . . . . . . . . "how long you been around girl, longer than a few years? looking out through the eyes of an old soul same shit same fears. must of been kinda hard for someone so young and tender walking out into the long a young pretender. i'm 30 plus years old looking over you like a saint, some kinda gift could be all things i am and ain't. i watch you cut your suede like a blade through harvest wheat with eyes that burn and melt with intensity and heat. who gave you what you are? these visions, these demands? this towerness and bluntness, this hunger in your arms? i watch you run head long into the autumn wind till your face is flushed and your knees are skinned. scattering the mad pies and crows from their frost, your footprints like a path to something lost. i turn and i wave back to the sun light from behind, it's like halo mesmerized and undefined... it's like a halo... mesmerized and undefined..." -BW buzzin and fly 3 album trk. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . Welcome to my world of thought, may it provoke or arouse your inner being. it would be my great pleasure and ultimate delight... nameste ~ Kiki
. . . . . . . . . . let us evolve . . . let us feel deeply . . . let us be the best we were meant to be. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . " in darkness he had came to me... speak he did not, but looked solemnly into these eyes and listened... his elongated palm surrendered to my supple chest, and at last felt my very beat transpire into his own... his sigh, long... low lingered onto me and gently perspired my honey hued skin... how it slowly sang to me a song once sung... as i had quiet the voices of my past my stance rose and rose like the wake of dawn... i had begun to realize, everything i had ever needed, but never knew i wanted stood right before me... the tips of his being soon molded fervently into my center... undone i had became, yet so fiercely solidified amongst the midnight stars... what have i become what have i done, me... i'm not. " ~kiki tranCOPYRIGHT©2007. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11:11 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . as i bow my head in a strange kinda of respect... i begin to feel my driven heart pump and connect . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Em yêu anh
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lord provide me the strength and courage to see right from wrong bless me with accurate intuition... innate wisdom teach me compassion through virtue of patience then humility detach me of all pain suffering... allow me to let go forgive my sins at last mercy thy eternal soul help me find this inner peace to gain outward control allow me to envision gracious beauty in all to provide creativity for my gifts teach me selflessness inspire me to always uplift most of all instill in me to the way of love
~kiki t.
om mani padme hum om mani padme hum om mani padme hum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . " lifetimes ago stood a most beloved queen before her sanctuary and solemnly sole kingdom... fatefully awaited to collide into the arms of her eternal king... mornings rose, feelings that opened then closed... to evenings as she waved goodbye to the unrequited glistening song of her soul. so many seasons past, as she rose her dew dripping chin... then at last... came the most unexpected, from what she had ever known. the fog gently lifted into the willow trees baring this aura of strength that seeped into and gleamed against her skin... how it succulently wrapped around and upon her heavy soul, reminding of where in many lives she always had once had been... her soft lit eyes slightly fluttered then beamed to close. how she soon felt this warming embrace. it was a mans touch, sensuously rough... yet so, delicate in warrant grace. easing her pain she slowly began to remember, this warriors past... soon his precious nectar dripped down to her as she sweetly taste... her fingers then outlined his deepest love for her to the austerity... of his most handsome face..." --kiki tran COPYRIGHT©2007. . . i am deep and do not wish to swim in any shallow waters i hunger for your love yet despise your worry i seethe in your passion yet remain deep in my pain bled struggle & breathe triumph for i have truly lived the underworld and of its unholy game ~kt . . .
i believe... †
TO FEEL PAIN IS TO KNOW YOU ARE ALIVE TO LAUGH IS TO UNDERSTAND THE WORKINGS OF GOD TO LOVE IS TO BECOME IMMORTAL TO FREE YOURSELF IS TO BECOME AT ONE TO FULLY LIVE IS TO BE AWAKEN TO YOUR... † DESTINY. . .year of the rooster ~ hour of the snake ~ sun in gemini ~ leo rising ~ moon in sagittarius ~ major aspects: sun trine pluto ~ mercury conjunct venus ~ sun trine juno ~ pluto conjunct juno ~ sun square jupiter ~ moon opposition mars ~ venus square pluto ~ mars trine jupiter ~ mars trine saturn ~ jupiter sextile uranus ~ pluto quintile acsendent ~ moon trine acsendent ~ kua 8 ~ metal.earth element ~ life path 5 ~ destiny 8 ~ 16th birthday ~ soul 5 ~ personality 3 ~ dosha pitta
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:PLEASE READ HERE FOR ABOUT ME: the average female, i am not... so i advise you not to step to me like the ones you're use to... you just might trip and we wouldn't want that, or do we? i am highly selective on who i let into my personal space, my mind, my heart. many perceive it as coldness... i say, to pretense relations made in vain leaves a shallow attitude to ultimately become a weak defined character. i am a extreme person who does nothing by half measures baring my existence boldly from where ever i may stand, come, or go. i can honestly say on all first meetings of people and things in life i know exactly if i like or if i don't like having no qualms in showing it to you or to the world. i take great pride in all i endeavor fulfilling each standard i request of myself and for my future. wild femme fetal or rebel with a cause... is often displayed through out my eclectic perhaps even eccentric persona, although deep down inside in the belly of this beast exist a world that is intensely private, spiritually connected, and all so hungry to feed such worldly ambitions. intuitive by heart, analytical by nature i truly understand my mind and emotions thoroughly and deeply, able to read into any bull shit surrounding me. given the clarity and ability for great resolve i feel it is a blessing, but at times also a great curse. i have never taken these gifts for granted, although at times i feel isolated and deeply misunderstood... for there are so many souls not yet awaken, only choosing to see what is just merely in front of them. a few things i absolutely cannot stand with in human nature are the mentalities of the weak minded ... which leads to behavior of passive aggression and hyper sensitivity... individuals who claim they've got 9 inch dicks and swinging balls, but when push comes to shove a lil bitch they prove to be, then falling to the way side from the smack coming from the back side of my hand. i do not by any means ever take anything in life at face value and more and most importantly trust and respect are virtues i do not give full handedly... they are to be earned and proven to me through my eyes and ears of observation. i've come to learn time can be the most feared enemy or greatest ally and in the end will always tell the very truth. thus the term, time will tell. i truly expect nothing of others and everything from myself, this way i'm in control my own happiness instead of putting it into the palms of others. i strive for more every moment of my life and believe the real true love in our lives is the unconditional love we should have for ourselves and the love for our spiritual savior. yes... you can say i'm a bit jaded, driven, arrogant, some what complex... but oh so deep, transforming, madly fierce, and more than desirable. give me an abandoned harmed child i will care for and love him soulfully, give me a drink or two and i'll party with you for a bit maybe till dawn, give me a sword in a battle for our lives i will fight to my relentless death, give me jokes so hilarious i'll laugh and snort with you for hours, give me a business to run and i'll return endless dividends, give me an hour or two to get ready and i'll be the baddest bitch by your side to kick it with, give me a minute and i'll break you down to a solid t, give me a word i'll write you a book, give me an hour and i'll cook you the most fabulous gourmet dinner, give me an idea i'll show you a vision, give me a vision i'll create a world of beauty, give me a question i'll give you the wicked truth, give me passion i'll give you seething desire, give me disrespect i'll spit in your surly face, give me a reason to love you trust you respect you and i'll give you my heart made of gold, give me mistrust i'll give you death in my very eyes, give me every reason to honor you... and i'll give you the world.....................this is me. take it or leave it, love me or hate me, for i will always.................. just be. ~kiki t.
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. . . . . . " they say part of letting to go is to forgive... they say part of unconditional love is to have compassion. to the woman who gave to me life i do forgive for all you've done, for you know not what you did. may you find peace within your soul, may you discover the love you never had to give. ALTHOUGH EVERYTHING YOU NEVER GAVE AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER TOOK... IS WHAT MADE ME EVERYTHING... THAT I AM TODAY. ". . . . . . .DO NOT JUDGE ME FOR WHO I AM, BUT FOR WHAT I ASPIRE TO BE. I BELIEVE THOUGHTS ARE SIGNIFICANT FOR THEY ARE A PRELUDE TO EACH EMOTION WE FEEL... HOW IT STIRS AND SWAGGERS OUR EVERY MOOD INTO A DELIBERATE ACTION. CONSEQUENCE OF THOUGHT RENDERS THE EGO TO MANIFEST IN MANY SUBTLE WAYS. ACTIONS CONTINUE, MULTIPLY, OR DENY WHO WE MUST REALLY BE... WHICH IS ONE WITH OURSELVES. WE ALL STRIVE FOR PERFECTION MAY IT BE MATERIAL, POWER, BEAUTY, OR HOLINESS. ALTHOUGH WE AS HUMANS ON THIS PLANET, SOULS OF ALL SORTS MUST REMEMBER THAT EVERY CHALLENGE WE FACE IN LIFE IS AN ILLUSION. BUILT FROM OUR EXTENDED EGO COMES PRIDE, ARROGANCE, HATE, ANGER, RAGE, WRATH, ANIMOSITY, SPITE, MALICE, JEALOUSY, ENVY, OBSESSION, ADDICTION, IGNORANCE, FEAR, DESPAIR, DESTRUCTION, ALL THAT IN WHICH BLINDS US FROM ONE TRUTH THAT DOES EXIST... LOVE. ~kt. . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . QUIET YOUR MIND, SILENCE YOUR THOUGHTS, OPEN YOUR HEART, AND FREE YOUR SOUL... . . . . . .
...you may pull the wool over these eyes but little do you know I already understood your lies from a mile away in the mist of rising dawn... I swallow your last breath in the collapse of your shattered arms, still I stand to your faded death, love you I shall forever will, for I await for your lips to caress instead haunted lakes reflect back, then over spill... through out shallow waves, as my lungs deepen, hunger for your thoughts continue to fill, forever will I love you, forever I will... ~kiki tran©COPYRIGHT 2003
as the sun sets i stand before the ever shades of simmering glory... it bows down to my applause, this pressure i feel... in my heart, so heavy. hmmm, is it one end to another fateful story... i waver back and forth to the graceful timing of its spell... the sun now half round, its final warmth weaving in and out of me... memories of how i begun to fell... flow upon the rise and tale of my emotion, leaving me now in the dark. how the shades undulate the shadows of your once undying now reclined devotion... it was i who ripped you in the start, now it is i left torn apart. my thousand pieces now scattered flown off to take flight, but still my final stance carries on into the solemn night... still i stand fleeting all emptiness, no longer will i choose, choose to fuel this futile fight. i look upon into the darkness of the weightless sky. the moon illuminating all that is... glowing the deception, the instinctive lie. the only truth, i whisper why... for i deeply feel... the love i so deeply feel... through the tips of my being, down to the roots of my heart pressed against this piercing blade... hard, so cold like winter steel, i kneel... memories i deal. how i took upon this mountain with courage to finally love... you, through my new found kingdom of heaven... i will always feel. ~kiki tranCOPYRIGHT©2006 . . . . . .WAR-THE DESTRUCTION OF OUR HUMANITY... THE SALVATION OF OUR CHILDREN. . . . . .
Differences . . . . . .
to me the difference between a girl and a woman... carries the weight of a thousand years... perhaps the journey of she can be long, but not always realized of its direction. little girls... title not due to age, but rather the exhibiting of unruly, undefined, lack of emotional intelligence. for they will exhaust you, drain all your natural instinct as a man... which is to protect and to provide for. given blatant control you are perpetually taught to take, leaving no respect for her or herself. surely girls will build and mold your delicate ego, but in the long run demise every potential for great growth in strength and fortitude, to become that stand up guy, one with depth one with character... they will oppose your every right to flourish as a honorable strong man. they cry and love just like any other, continue to test you... but all for the wrong reasons. they are simply weak without you................................................... you will truly know you have a real woman when she moves all of your being up and not down, but moves just as strong alone. tests you for all the right reasons... she sees you as her king and you want nothing more than to treat her as your equal, which is queen. a woman makes you feel love for the first time even if you have loved before, sustains your passion, inspires you to offer all that you can, widens and heightens your joy and hunger for life... enables you to be a better man, not just for her... but for yourself. you will truly know you have a real woman when you innately feel she can easily exist without you, as she will with you... a real woman there in lies only by your side if you yourself truly are, a real man. ~kiki tran
i miss home... isn't seattle beautiful 888
one of my favorite cities... vancouver b.c.the one n' only... paul
FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD. FUCK WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW. IT'S ABOUT UNDERSTANDING YOUR HEART, YOUR GUT... BELIEVE IN IT. THEN HAVE THE GUMPTION TO ACT UPON IT.
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