Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior profile picture

Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

The trouble with being twenty-six years old is that you're either taken too seriously or not taken seriously enough. Why is making friends so difficult for me? Why is figuring out what to do with myself just as difficult? I am not cut out for being a loner. I am a socialite without a social scene... occasionally traipsing into others' social scenes but not quite making the cut. I enjoy being around others so much it's sickening. Trying to live a straight and narrow life is beyond boring but it's what I'm after. Well... it's what I'm after for now. I'm not fooled into thinking that my goals/wants/desires don't change often enough.I bite my tongue often, but you wouldn't know it. People think I'm rude... if only they knew. I am strong-minded and highly opinionated but it's much easier to act indecisive when one's opinions are not the popular norm.I am torn between my need to get to a place where I feel more at home and free and my desire to give the things I start a chance. I leave so many things unfinished. My life is choreographed in a series of quick passionate movements, gliding and sometimes thrashing across the stage of possibility within the blink of an eye. It is the sort of thing therapists roll their eyes about. I am almost constantly the source of someone's worry and predictably unpredictable.My standards are secretly too high while to the passing eye they appear rather low. I will never be satisfied. I will always doubt and second-guess and pass judgment. My judgements will undoubtedly differ from your own. I will let you glimpse my whole heart, possibly even hold it for awhile, and then snatch it back, losing a piece in your pocket but so tiny of a piece that you won't even know that you have it. It's how I roll. . And, as with all things, if you break it, you buy it.

My Interests

Slow-dancing, kisses like promises, electrical passion, kiwis, picnics on beaches when it's not too windy, spontaneity, serenades, mental illness, Eskimo and butterfly kisses, spotlights, romance, tenderness, addiction, laughter, feather boas, platform boots, homicide, suicide, amusement parks, anything extraordinary, sexuality, drumming, strumming, singing, truth or dare, shocking others, board games, walks in scenic places, happy friendly people, lollipops, delicious foods and beverages, nature, grass knotting, artistic mediums, all of the performing arts.
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I'd like to meet:

Whoever life happens to bring my way.

I am not, however, looking to meet anyone with romantic or sexual intentions through the interweb.



JUNE'S TOP COMMENTER

JENN

Top 10 Commenters of 2007:

1. NINA with 195 comments
2. D-SHIZNIT with 92 comments
3. BRAD with 89 comments
4. ALLY with 87 comments
5. MARIA with 52 comments
6. MATT with 51 comments
7. JUSTIN with 51 comments
8. KATE with 46 comments
9. DEIRDRE with 35 comments
10. ZACK with 34 comments

Music:


I am terrible at identifying songs and artists.

I like making it and listening to it.
I sing along to songs I've only heard once before (or never before); and I somehow usually get the words right or close to right... even in different languages.
Something I can dance to.
Something I can understand the words to is preferable.
I'm not a big fan of polka, hip hop, rap, or grindcore, though some exceptions to this rule occur as well.

Movies:

A Beautiful Mind
A Clockwork Orange
All Dogs Go To Heaven
Amelie
American Beauty
American History X
Angels In America
Big Fish
Birthday Girl
Black Snake Moan
Braveheart
Brokeback Mountain
Broken
Chrystal
Closer
Constantine
Deliver Us From Evil
Edmond
Eternal Sunshine on a Spotless Mind
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Girl Interrupted
Go
Happiness
Hard Candy
Identity
Intermission
Kids
Kill Bill (both volumes)
Lars and the Real Girl
Life Is Beautiful
L.I.E.
Little Miss Sunshine
Lost In Translation
Mysterious Skin
Philadelphia
Powder
Requiem For A Dream
Roger and me
Rules of Attraction
Secretary
Sicko
The Butterfly Effect
The Cell
The Notebook
The Pursuit of Happyness
Twelve Monkeys
White Oleander
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
Wit
Yossi and Jagar
Zeitgeist
Zoo
[I'm open for suggestions]

Television:

Celebrity Rehab, Dexter, and Intervention... ..
(I am in that video. It is in this section because it was on television.)

Books:

A Child Called "It": One Child's Courage to Survive by Dave Pelzer
Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism by AA Services
Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank, Eleanor Roosevelt, and B.M. Mooyaart
An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
Autobiography of A Face by Lucy Grealy
Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl by Anonymous
Broken by William Cope Moyers with Katherine Ketcham
Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
CRANK by Ellen Hopkins
Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self Mutilation by Steven Levenkron
Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood by Jennifer Traig
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders DSM-IV-TR Fourth Edition (Text Revision) by the American Psychiatric Association
Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
Go Ask Alice
Gracefully Insane: The Rise and Fall of America's Premier Mental Hospital by Alex Beam
High Fidelity by Nick Hornby
I Never Promised You a Rose Garden by Hannah Green
Just Checking by Emily Colas
Lilith by J.R. Salamanca
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
Love's Executioner: & Other Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin D. Yalom
Mama Might Be Better Off Dead: The Failure of Health Care in Urban America by Laurie Kaye Abraham
Nickeled and Dimed (On Not Getting by in America) by Barbara Ehrenreich
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
Running with Scissors: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
SMACK by Melvin Burgess
Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas
The Bell Jar: A Novel by Sylvia Plath
The Catcher In the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things by J. T. Leroy
The Jungle by Upton Sinclair
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
The Social Work Dictionary by Robert L. Barker
Two Pink Horses: A Novel by Jeffrey Stewart
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia by Marya Hornbacher
When Rabbit Howls by Truddi Chase and Robert A. Phillips
[I'm open for suggestions]

Heroes:

"True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost."--Arthur Ashe

"A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around." - Edgar Watson Howe

TIGGER

My Blog

So glad I went to Wichita Clinic

Doctors are such killjoys, I swear.Now for another round of doctor after doctor visit and possible surgery just to try to diagnose things I don't want to have.Endometriosis??? On the upside, I now hav...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:41:00 PST

I did this only because KAT Rigsbee’s rules said I had to.

LEAVE YOUR NAME AND:1. I'll respond with something random about you.2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.4. I'll say something that on...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Sat, 07 Jun 2008 02:00:00 PST

I crashed into a red one of these today....

My car no longer looks new. I will be surpassing my insurance deductible.I will also be paying an $86 fine for Unsafe Lane Change....
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Sat, 31 May 2008 08:54:00 PST

Absolute power corrupts and desired power condemns.

It is very easy to become frustrated when power hungry. When one surrenders power, that is when one tends to truly grow. This cannot be a false surrender, as deceit fools no one and only holds one bac...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Wed, 27 Feb 2008 09:03:00 PST

An exercise in the imagination.

I would like you to exit. Stage right. Enter again. Stage right. Say something profound. Leave again. Stage right. Eventually I will exit. Stage left. Two years later, or maybe two seconds later, you ...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Sat, 02 Feb 2008 06:51:00 PST

This one is public, which means anyone can respond.

I did a mass deletion of blogs about a year ago, maybe more, and deleted this, which I had three different versions of. Upon reading it on Mike Fels' blogs and smiling from the answers I'd given him a...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Sun, 06 Jan 2008 04:39:00 PST

What are YOUR superpowers?

Imagine for a moment that you are a superhero... .You're loaded with strengths. You're going to save the world. You're the one that everyone comes to because you're just that great. So...what are your...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Sun, 30 Jul 2006 12:04:00 PST

Superheros and their masks....

It's easy to say "No one can help me and if anyone could he/she would be/is way too busy to see me anyway.". It's much easier to say this than to let down your walls and let the people that care know ...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Tue, 23 May 2006 01:35:00 PST

It's all in the perception.

So, you live in this game of make believe; and then you get so caught up in it that you forget when you began playing. You want to quit pretending; but you're not sure which parts are real, or are bas...
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:31:00 PST

A seemingly simple question for all

Are you happy?
Posted by Killer McMurder / Miss Behavior on Fri, 13 Jan 2006 09:53:00 PST