What The Crap

We're the best f-ing super-rec softball team youve ever met.Just ask the opposing teams in the 4 City leagues we're in this summer. We flat out rake. You could populate a small country with all the pitchers we've taken deep.Line drives through your chest, big flies, opposite field shots. We can do it all. Some kids at one of our games were staring and pointing at our Coach. I cant blame them. Theyve probably never seen a 50 year-old man wearing a Dale Earnhardt shirt, yard gloves, and a wooden hip who can hit bombs. Especially not with shorts that tight.This season, we are going to win all 4 City leagues.Especially the Co-ed intramural league at St. Anthonys. We were two outs away from winning that baby last year and now we can taste it. We've gotta get our hands on that 10-foot plastic trophy. Its all we think about. Rumor has it the league winners get 2 free pitchers at The Red Fox after the season. No way we lose with the trophy and 78 ounces of Busch on the line.We've got all new equipment for this season. You should see the extra long dickies with cell phone pocket we've got. Super tight. We also got our hands on a $350 titanium hammer for a little extra power. It cost a weeks pay, and we had to pull it on layaway for six months at Walmart, but screw it, when we start cranking 400-foot shots it will be worth it. Plus we might need it to beat off all the trim that will be chasing us after the games.Softball groupies love guys who can go deep.We feel sorry for the other teams. They have no idea what were about to unleash on them, or how tired they are going to be for the rest of the tournament after they score 17 runs on us in 1 inning. They should have known better than to get into a tournament with us.This year we're focused. We've practiced like a son of a bitch in the winter. The League starts Tuesday night. Everyone is taking the day off of work.Why do we take softball so seriously?F you. Youre just jealous... width="425" height="350" ..***AN ADOLESCENT OLE GETS JIGGY WITH IT***