Captain Drunk Times - ProfilesArchive

About Me

So, my life's quest is to be a bad ass. I thought I should get a tattoo, you know, for some street cred. But so many people have tats now, and you don't have to be bad ass to get one. I decided that maybe I should walk with a limp, but it's kinda hard to pull that off in flip flops. Also, I live on the top floor, and you get cramps in your leg when you try to climb upstairs with a limp. Plus, people are always asking me what happened to my leg, and when I say I was crip walking, they laugh at me. Not fun. I thought maybe drinking hennesey might make me more gangsta, but it just made me puke. So I thought maybe my profile song would make me hard core, but my background screams otherwise. Although, there was this one time I was in LA, and I accidently drove down Crenshaw. I was crying the whole time, but I think that counts as being gangsta. Yeah, I would say I'm pretty bad ass.
MySpace Layouts

MySpace Layouts MySpace Codes MySpace Backgrounds

My Interests

the beach, drinking, volleyball, taking naps, creating my budget, surfing (when I finally get back into it)

I'd like to meet:

Someone that would let me punch them in the face, just for kicks.

Music:

Sublime, Violent Femmes, 311, Jurassic 5, The Roots, De La Soul, Jack Johnson, let's see... Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Face to Face, Incubus, A Tribe Called Quest, too many to list.

Movies:

All time favorite movie - Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I like Spaceballs, Zoolander, Office Space, Beerfest, anything that makes me laugh. I hate scary movies though, and Juan always makes me watch them. That's not very nice.

Television:

the news... I'm not just a pretty face you know, I care about what's going on in the world too.

Books:

The yellow pages. I look up funny last names for sport (you know, names like Boner, or Bong).

Heroes:

Myself. I'm pretty damn awesome.

My Blog

To those of us who hate our jobs

We all complain about where we work, or what we do. It's a fact. There isn't a person on the face of God's green earth who hasn't had a job that they didn't despise, or complained about what they do. ...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Wed, 14 May 2008 09:32:00 PST

Women are from Mars, and men have a penis

So, okay. I know men and women are different. I think I first discovered this when I got my first Ken doll, and pulled down his pants to reveal his smooth, nondescript nether regions. Later, I found o...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:01:00 PST

My eye sucks

So I was sitting in my creative writing class today, and we were analyzing the Good Will Hunting script. The teacher was asking questions, and I decided to answer (for once in my life) because no one ...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 11:26:00 PST

Thought of the day

That's right, I said "thought" of the day. It is my major thought. Not that I didn't think other thoughts, this is just the only important one. Okay here goes... If you don't know it by now, I'm goin...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 08:41:00 PST

To the spider mom and her spider babies

Dear Ms. Long Legs or Ms. Garden Spider, I am very sorry I vacuumed you and you family . I noticed you in the corner of my doorway for some time now, but I was reluctant to kill you right away....
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Fri, 28 Dec 2007 11:21:00 PST

White After Labor Day? Warn the Church Elders.

I've never been one to follow the rules. I buy furniture that you have to put together yourself, and I will crumple up the instructions and throw them away. I always end up with too many L shaped piec...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Fri, 07 Sep 2007 01:32:00 PST

Slim Jims and Pickle Juice

So, okay... I have been on this quest to eat healthy, minus one day out of the week. I allow myself one day to indulge in all things unhealthy in order to perserve my sanity. These "bad" day usually o...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Thu, 07 Jun 2007 09:57:00 PST

How much would you go for?

Okay, so the other day I was working a very busy night at the bar. For those of you who read this and don't know already, I work as a waitress at a sports bar. A drunk guy and his friends are celebrat...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Fri, 12 Jan 2007 07:44:00 PST

I'm not high, I swear

According to a scientific theory, we only use 10% of our brains. This theory has not been tested or proven. But hypothetically speaking, if this is true, why then are people lacking in common sense? I...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 12:07:00 PST

Why do your greatest ideas come to you at 4am??

I finally drift off to sleep last night. But I wasn't really asleep, I was in that stage, you know, between wake and sleep. Your mind is still running, but your body is just...still. Well, I was sharp...
Posted by Captain Drunk Times on Fri, 20 Oct 2006 05:35:00 PST