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Thought I would share the following story with you which I happen to find very true and an awesome truth.........The Two WolvesThere once was an old Cherokee who told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said "My son the battle is between two wolves inside us all" One is evil, it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good, it is joy, peace, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. The grandson thought about it and asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins"? The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one that you Feed"!
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**********************************************************Wh en God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you"******************************************************** **Comment Buddy
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MySpace Graphics & MySpace CodesOk Everyone This is a very DEEP READ HERE................ not meant to offend just very thought provoking......Toxic Shame by Leo Booth/John Bradshaw *************************************Abuse creates toxic shame - the feeling of being flawed and diminished and never measuring up. Toxic shame feels much worse than guilt. With guilt, you've done something wrong; but you can repair that - you can do something about it. With toxic shame there's something wrong with you and there's nothing you can do about it; you are inadequate and defective. Toxic shame is the core of the wounded child. This meditation sums up the ways that the wonderful child got wounded. The loss of your I AMness is spiritual bankruptcy. The wonder child is abandoned and all alone.****************************My Name Is Toxic ShameI was there at your conception In the epinephrine of your mother's shame You felt me in the fluid of your mother's womb I came upon you before you could speak Before you understood Before you had any way of knowing I came upon you when you were learning to walk When you were unprotected and exposed When you were vulnerable and needy Before you had any boundaries MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI came upon you when you were magical Before you could know I was there I severed your soul I pierced you to the core I brought you feelings of being flawed and defective I brought you feelings of distrust, ugliness, stupidity, doubt worthlessness, inferiority, and unworthiness I made you feel different I told you there was something wrong with you I soiled your Godlikeness MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI existed before conscience Before guilt Before morality I am the master emotion I am the internal voice that whispers words of condemnation I am the internal shudder that courses through you without any mental preparation MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI live in secrecy In the deep moist banks of darkness depression and despair Always I sneak up on you I catch you off guard I come through the back door Uninvited unwanted The first to arrive I was there at the beginning of time With Father Adam, Mother Eve Brother Cain I was at the Tower of Babel the Slaughter of the Innocents MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI come from "shameless" caretakers, abandonment, ridicule, abuse, neglect - perfectionistic systems I am empowered by the shocking intensity of a parent's rage The cruel remarks of siblings The jeering humiliation of other children The awkward reflection in the mirrors The touch that feels icky and frightening The slap, the pinch, the jerk that ruptures trust I am intensified by A racist, sexist culture The righteous condemnation of religious bigots The fears and pressures of schooling The hypocrisy of politicians The multigenerational shame of dysfunctional family systems MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI can transform a woman person, a Jewish person, a black person, a gay person, an oriental person, a precious child into A bitch, a kike, a nigger, a bull dyke, a faggot, a chink, a selfish little bastard I bring pain that is chronic A pain that will not go away I am the hunter that stalks you night and day Every day everywhere I have no boundaries You try to hide from me But you cannot Because I live inside of you I make you feel hopeless Like there is no way out MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEMy pain is so unbearable that you must pass me on to others through control, perfectionism, contempt, criticism, blame, envy, judgment, power, and rage My pain is so intense You must cover me up with addictions, rigid roles, reenactment, and unconscious ego defenses. My pain is so intense That you must numb out and no longer feel me. I convinced you that I am gone - that I do not exist - you experience absence and emptiness. MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAMEI am the core of co-dependency I am spiritual bankruptcy The logic of absurdity The repetition compulsion I am crime, violence, incest, rape I am the voracious hole that fuels all addictions I am instability and lust I am Ahaverus the Wandering Jew, Wagner's Flying Dutchman, Dostoyevski's underground man, Kierkegaard's seducer, Goethe's Faust I twist who you are into what you do and have I murder your soul and you pass me on for generations MY NAME IS TOXIC SHAME ***********************************************************W E DO RECOVER FROM A STATE OF HOPLESNESS WHEN WE ARE WILLING TO BE HONEST OPEN MINDED AND WILLING TO ACCEPT THE THINGS IN OUR LIVES FROM WHICH WE ARE POWERLESS AND CHANGE THE THINGS WE CAN, AIM HIGH PRAY AND STRIVE FOR THE BEST IN EACH OF OUR LIVES ONE DAY AT A TIME!
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JOSEPH
J Judicial
O Odd
S Super
E Entertaining
P Profound
H Handy
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I love the ocean, anything pertaining to water basically, swimming tennis baseball volleyball, Skiing , skydiving....want to learn to skysurf soon in Asia, quiet walks on the beach or in nature, love the outdoors, nice dinners in and out, Love Pacific rim/Asian Fusion, Bowling, chess, pets, movies music I enjoy a sober life today but my main interests would be God My Sponsor Meetings The Steps Myself Family and Friends! AA/NA/CODA/ALANON/CAThank God for his many blessings not only of these programs but to an awesome journey in Recovery!Thank God for understanding Sposors!!! Love you Billy M.!!
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Don't give up.....One day I decided to quit... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots". "I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you." "Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had adifferent Purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high" "How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned. "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never, Never, Never Give up. For the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity. Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!Comment Buddy
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*The New and Improved Ultimate About Me*:
Basics:
Name: Joseph
Date of Birth: September 28, 1974
Birthplace: Hartsville, SC
Current Location: Hartsville, SC
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 5 10
Heritage: English/Italian
Piercings: Ear, Navel
Tattoos: 4 tasteful ones
Favourite:
Band/Singer: Too many...but I will say Elton John
Song: Too many... but I will say "Sleep while I drive" M. Ethridge
Movie: To many again!!! How about Moulin Rouge
Disney Movie: Uhh....Homeward Bound
TV show: Jeff Corbin
Color: Blue
Food: Asian fusion
Pizza topping: Pepperonni if I eat a pizza
Ice-Cream Flavor: Not that big on Ice cream...Sherbert...
Drink (alcoholic): No, Recovering Alcoholic
Soda: Don't drink sodas....
Store: A pet store :)
Clothing Brand: Whatever looks good to me though i do like American Eagle here lately
Shoe Brand: Nike
Season: Summer
Month: October
Holiday/Festival: New Year's Eve
Flower: Bird of Paradise
Make-Up Item: None
Board game: Chess
This or That
Sunny or rainy: Sunny
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
Fruit or veggie: Veggie
Night or day: Both the same
Sour or sweet: Sour
Love or money: Love
Phone or in person: In Person
Looks or personality: Cant I get Both....ok personality
Coffee or tea: An Espresso please....
Hot or cold: Hot
Your:
Goal for this year: Vacation in Southeast Asia
Most missed memory: My Grandfather and I together
Best physical feature: Face
First thought waking up: Didn't I just go to bed?
Hypothetical personality disorder: Hmm lol
Preferred type of plastic surgery: None unless necessary....uhhh ask me again in 20 years lol
Sesame street alter ego: Grover lol i remember i thought he was cool
Fairytale alter ego: Prince Charming of course! haha
Most stupid remark: Too many
Worst crime: DUI
Greatest ambition: Successful Writer
Greatest fear: Spiders
Darkest secret: Then it would'nt be a secret!
Favorite subject: Pyschology
Strangest received gift: A Cookie Boquet
Worst habit: Over Talkative
Do You:
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Curse: Yes and trying to clean that up
Shower daily: Yes!
Like thunderstorms: No
Dance in the rain: I have
Sing: Yes
Play an instrument: Piano
Get along with your parents: Yes
Wish on stars: I have
Believe in fate: Yes
Believe in love at first sight: Yes
Can You:
Drive: Yes
Sew: Yes
Cook: Yes
Speak another language: Oui
Dance: Yes
Sing: Yes
Touch your nose with your tongue: Yes
Whistle: Yes
Curl your tongue: Yes
Have You Ever:
Been Drunk: LOL uhhhh YES! Too many Times.....Recovering Alcoholic
Been Stoned/High: Yes
Eaten Sushi: LOVE IT!
Been in Love: Yes
Skipped school: Yes
Made prank calls: Yes
Sent someone a love letter: Yes
Stolen something: Yes
Cried yourself to sleep: Yes
Other Questions:
What annoys you most in a person? Lies
Are you right or left handed? Ambidexterous
What is your bedtime? When i get there with the job i have but try to make it before 11
Name three things you can't live without: God, Food and Water
What is the color of your room? A light Yellow
Do you have any siblings? A half - brother
Do you have any pets? Yes 2 snakes and an iguana :)
Would you kill someone you hate for a million dollars? No
What is you middle name? Joseph
What are you nicknames? Radar
Are you for or against gay marriage? No
What are your thoughts ..ion? Against
Do you have a crush on anyone? Not Really
Are you afraid of the dark? No
How do you want to die? Sleeping
What is the largest amount of popsicles that you have eaten on one day? 10....??
Would you take a bullet for the one you love? Yes
What is the last law you’ve broken? Speeding
In a Member of the Opposite Sex:
Hair color: Dark Brown or Blonde
Eye color: Hazel
Height Taller than me
Weight In Proportion to body
Most important physical feature: Face/Eyes
Biggest turn-off Overly Pretentious
Take this survey or other MySpace Surveys at PimpSurveys.com ,
You Are a Retrospective Soul
The most misunderstood of all the soul signs.
Sometimes you even have difficulty seeing yourself as who you are.
You are intense and desire perfection in every facet of your life.
You're best described as extremely idealistic, hardworking, and a survivor.
Great moments of insight and sensitivity come to you easily.
But if you aren't careful, you'll ignore these moments and repeat past mistakes.
For you, it is difficult to seperate the past from the present.
You will suceed once you overcome the disappoinments in life.
Souls you are most compatible with: Traveler Soul and Prophet Soul What Kind of Soul Are You?
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Your Life Path Number is 4
Your purpose in life is to build your vision.
You are practical and responsible. You work hard, knowing that there are no shortcuts in life.
You work for a better life for yourself and those you love, but you are not an idealist.
Trustworthy and honest, you also demonstrate great courage. People can count on you.
In love, you are a loyal and committed partner. You are the ideal spouse.
You don't give up easily, and sometimes you can be too stubborn and unwilling to change.
You also can be too conservative at times. You sometime miss out on good opportunities.
Also remember that not everyone can work as hard as you, as disappointing as that is! What Is Your Life Path Number?