TWISTING THE NIGHT AWAY...or HOW I SURVIVED THE TORNADO OF 2007 Ringo
"We were a perfect match. I had all the brains and talent...She had all the curves...... " JA~
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Johnny
Birthday: Sept 2nd.
Birthplace: The City That Never Sleeps, NY, NY
Current Location: In the swamps of Lou-easy-easy-anna
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Jet Black
Height: 5'11"
Right Handed or Left Handed: Under-Handed
Your Heritage: Guinea/Mic slang for Italian/Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: Motorcycle Boots
Your Weakness: A woman's beautiful Face and Ass. so I can watch her, Come and GO.
Your Fears: Chocolate
Your Perfect Pizza: Anything from Cafe' Nino - NOLA
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Beating a Vegas Casino slot machine...without the hammer.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: brb
Thoughts First Waking Up: Where am I? and WHO the hell are YOU?
Your Best Physical Feature: It MUST be my right leg, cause my dog is always humping it..! But..it must NOT be too pretty...cause he always has his eyes closed as he's humping it...!
Your Bedtime: After my massage with the "Happy Ending"
Your Most Missed Memory: I forget
Pepsi or Coke: Barque's and A&W root beer
MacDonalds or Burger King: PORT OF CALL- here in NOLA
Single or Group Dates: Groups...Beth, Diane, Jenn, Leslie, Faith, Nicole, Ashley...etc...
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Bourbon
Chocolate or Vanilla: Dark Chocolate with a touch of rasberry
Cappuccino or Coffee: Expresso...Double Shot
Do you Smoke: Only during Sex
Do you Swear: Only during Sex,
Do you Sing: Only at work
Do you Shower Daily: Only when I work
Have you Been in Love: Some say Love is like a lottery..BullShit..A lottery you can WIN once in a while! But I can look at a girl and tell what kind of a pass she's going to have.
Do you want to go to College: In College I had a balanced diet, A beer in each hand.
Do you want to get Married: My wife and I were happy for 25 years...Then We met..! I came home early from work and found my friend in bed with my wife. I said, Luigi, I HAVE to...But YOU?
Do you belive in yourself: I believe in the Trinity; ME, Myself, and I
Do you get Motion Sickness: Only when I'm moving
Do you think you are Attractive: I like my mirror. Even though it never lies, it just cracks up from time to time
Are you a Health Freak: Of, Course *Cough* I *Cough* Am..*sniff* ,*sniff*, *Cough*
Do you get along with your Parents: They moved one day while I was in school...Still can't locate them.
Do you like Thunderstorms: Only if there's lightening with it.
Do you play an Instrument: does a Geiger counter, count?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink
In the past month have you Smoked: No...I like to DEEP FRY.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: My manager told me, "Johnny, don't use drugs as a crutch." A crutch is something that helps you walk, drugs are like the steps I didn't see. (lifted and altered slightly from...Mitch Hedberg..thanks Mitch..!)
In the past month have you gone on a Date: I recently signed up with a dating service, but I quit when they matched me up with my wife!
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: The last time I went I asked the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push me around in it.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Chocolate Chip and pecans
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes..three day old sushi...smelled a little funny though
In the past month have you been on Stage: MY life is a stage....and Y'all are my audience
In the past month have you been Dumped: N/A
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Only while in the shower
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Well, I think of it as Pilfering jokes..Not stealing them.
Ever been Drunk: The other night I was so drunk I couldn't walk...So I took my car...!.
Ever been called a Tease: Ha...a few times..BUT..I always PLEASE in the end...
Ever been Beaten up: yeah..the last Gal I teased...
Ever Shoplifted: Only for food...for the neighborhood cats
How do you want to Die: Definately, NOT on stage!
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A Rebel WITH a cause.
What country would you most like to Visit: Red China & Black Africa
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: Blood shot
Favourite Hair Color: Redheads, Blondes, Brunettes..I'm very picky that way
Short or Long Hair: Either one
Height: 5'2" to 6'2"
Weight: 100lbs to 130lbs
Best Clothing Style: Anything with a gridle underneath...to keep an unfortunate condition from spreading.
Number of Drugs I have taken: A drug addict was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for the usage of drugs." The druggie says "HELL YEAH...let's get started!"
Number of CDs I own: a boxful
Number of Piercings: NONE..never will
Number of Tattoos: I have a $10. bill tattooed on my dick. When I get excited it turns into $1,000. I Love to watch my money grow....!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I've had a few, but then again...too few to mention.
CREATE YOUR OWN PIZZA! - or - GET PAID TO GET LAID!
ALL of MY SPACE friends...of course..!
param .. I never met a woman that didn't know if she was good-looking or not without being told, and some of them give themselves credit for more than they've got....
Photo: Luigi "Babe" Scorcia
The darling of the religious right, conservative Sen. David Vitter of Louisiana, has not only admitted to having sex with prostitutes, he would pay them $300 to make him wear diapers. Today that crazy astronaut called him "my dream guy. He's got my vote.†Paris Hilton made her first post-jail appearance on Larry King. She said spending an hour with Larry made her miss solitary confinement.She told Larry being stripped searched was the most humiliating experience of her life; then she asked Larry, "You make all your guests do that?â€John Edwards is on the campaign trail. He is now doing something called his "poverty tour†where he is visiting people who have no money and no hope. In fact, his first stop today — John McCain’s headquarters. John Edwards said today that he has always supported gay rights. Edwards said the only problem he's ever had with gays is that they charge too much for a haircut. Other than that . . . he has no issues.It was 194 degrees in Las Vegas today. All over town, women have been forced to take off their clothes and rub their bodies against cold metal poles just to survive.JUST HIT
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AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
Anything..But it's gotta have Soul...it's gotta move me. Of course the greatest war song ever written: "Here Comes The Bride"
TV is proof that people'll look at anything rather than one another.
Anything in the Hard-Boiled Private Eye Game by Mickey Spillane......Hard Hitting and Tuff Talking...and that's just the DAMES in his Private Dick novels... Right now..I'm reading "I, THE JURY" It's a hard read..only because this vintage paperback is crumbling with every turn of the page.
THE WORKING CLASS HEROS