Mlle Clare profile picture

Mlle Clare

No one is as dumb as I appear to be

About Me

All I need in this life is green chile, Pimms cups and a handful of assholes to keep me entertained.
I'm the same person I was when I was 5. These days I'm just a far better speller and don't get spankings when I give people the finger.
I think my husband is pretty rad. I think my dead cat (the one down there in my hero's section) yeah, he was pretty rad too. I like to climb on rooftops and go exploring in the dark. I've knocked a few people unconscious harming myself terribly both times. I'm half the size of most adults and have an unexplained fascination with pathological liars.
I smile like a debutant, curse like a sailor and laugh at the most inappropriate of times. Soaking wet I am 106lbs. Standing on my tippy-toes, a whopping 5'4. I don't know what my natural hair color is and I am 21 years older than my only sibling.
I'm a step daughter, a half sister and an only child. I'm not sure who I really am. But chances are certain that I am still that asshole you've heard rumors about.
Active member in the fight to get Cats back on Broadway.
My Yelp Reviews Recent reviews by Clare D. What's this?

My Interests

All I care about is karaoke, green chile, pink flamingos, penguins, candles that smell like burnt wood and the 19 year old girls in Playboy who list their teddy bear as their hero.

Pictures on Flickr, holmes!

I'd like to meet:

whoever can make me the first woman in space to do karaoke
Who I would NOT like to meet
People who start sentences with, "Once at a pro-life rally..."

Music:

I got $20 that says if you can't stand it, it's my favorite song.

Movies:

Fletch, Vacation, Brain Candy, Cabin Boy and Tribute...everthing else is a waste of my time

Television:

Laura Palmer is dead, I know who killed her...what else matters?

Books:

The Idiots Guide to being Ghetto Fabulous and the obituaries.

Heroes:


The Reverend Doctor Stewart Calvin

...and my Aunt Mag.
Hand I Throw Bowling Balls WithMy Right

My Blog

if you ask a stupid question you get a stupid answer

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?I have to search the stuff they have access to because they like to put sugar packets and matchbooks in my purse when I'm not looking.2. Do you have any weir...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Fri, 25 May 2007 10:03:00 PST

Louisiana and Drinking Laws

For a state that thrives off drive-thru liquor businesses one could be foolish enough to think we advocate drinking and driving. This is where you would be mistaken. I am trying to find a link to it o...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Fri, 25 May 2007 09:26:00 PST

Religion Makes People Spell Bad

This is some hatemail I came home to this afternoon. ...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:43:00 PST

Russia Lives in the Lost Roll

Again, they are crap pictures, but its all we got from the crappy 35mm and I'm over it already.This is where we left off last time; remember the Church on Spilled BloodWalk down the Nemesky Prospect a...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 08:46:00 PST

Cause New Mexico has "Space"

Ever flown Virgin Atlantic? If you have you are probably aware that it is the equivalent to a Four Seasons suite that takes you to the UK. Well, Mr. Moneybags/FOX TV stuntman/Sir Richard Branson has t...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Wed, 19 Jul 2006 06:00:00 PST

Partial Picture Package Pheaturing Photos Phrom Pyccne

On our way to Houston to commence honeymooning...Before walking through Body Worlds, Clare was really excited!After and during Body Worlds Clare almost threw up...but it was absolutely wonderful and s...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Tue, 30 May 2006 02:43:00 PST

Wedding Pictures out the wazoo!

Here's just an appetizer of what we have so far:...
Posted by Mlle Clare on Tue, 04 Apr 2006 07:40:00 PST