James (or "Jim" as he's more commonly referred) was born James Edward Bishop on the 24th day of the 9th month, 1987 - a year best forgotten than remembered, seeing as it's greatest claim to fame was a mass shooting on the streets of Melbourne, and the birth of a hopelessly irrelevant rapper dubbed "Bow Wow" - or something to that effect.
Following the arrival of James, there was much rejoicing in the form of cakes, iced beverages and the occasional "Fag" (later renamed "Fads" to curb the growing trend in teenage smoking, then later discontinued entirely on the discovery that they actually contained traces of mercury, sulphur and power steering fluid). Upon growing up, James would meet many strange and wonderful characters, such as Corporal Clegg, and the little man that keeps stealing my buttons. These and unfortunately many more would stay by James' side through thick and thin, going on to create the egomaniacal sicko we have occupying this page today.
For a crust, James wanders the streets of Warburton (or Croydon if a fare can't be payed) and busks outside the bewilderingly inappropriate totem poles that adorn the main street, singing lullabies, nursury rhymes, and the occasional Led Zeppelin number. The drummer choked on his own vomit don't you know. Needless to say, James is strapped for cash and would appreciate any money offered. Food stamps would also suffice, as would canned peaches, troglodytes and magic mushrooms.
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