About Me
I'm your number one friend. I lend you money and probably borrowed some from you. If you were in a drunken stupor, I took care of you because I know you've done the same for me. You can come over and crash at my pad, I wouldn't kick you out so long as you flush your damn vomit before you leave the restroom. If you're ever in trouble you can always count on me to bail you out. All your girlfriends are immediately non-sexual entities to me. If you ever got married there's no doubt I'd be the one next to you at the altar and be the first one to kill the bitch if she ever broke your heart.
