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joe rooney

About Me

I was a twinkle in my fathers eye briefly. Then I worked for a while as a sperm working my way up to a foetus. After 9 months I became disillusioned and left. Then came the lost years; shit, puke, crawling around on all fours;you name it! Got myself together and went to school. Now I'm a stand up comic, actor and writer. With the help of Babies Anonymous, a support group for reformed babies, I have been on the straight and narrow for 40 years apart from the occasional relapse.


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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

My father when he was a teenager and me when i was 8.

My Blog

more jam

made more plum jam on tuesday night. watched the end of Tsotsi and finished writing a script while drinking 2 bottles of beer (one belgian and one made by trappist monks) and smoking 2 cigarettes. Wen...
Posted by on Thu, 30 Aug 2007 05:13:00 GMT

TWO RIGHTS DON'T MAKE A NONG

After a breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast and fresh raspberries from the garden everyone was in a great mood, even Scrabble who up until then had seemed as moody as your average cat. In fact it was...
Posted by on Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:23:00 GMT

What's going nong?

Jingnong woke next morning before the others. In fact it was barely morning. The sky was still dark outside with a hint of light on the eastern horizon. He went outside because he felt restless and di...
Posted by on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 03:39:00 GMT

jingnong merrily on high

Wingnong  and Jingnong cuddled up together on the big green couch. Neither said anything but they both knew that the other was remembering bits and pieces of a life that they had completely forgo...
Posted by on Tue, 12 Dec 2006 05:34:00 GMT

The Planet Nong

After a fair lot of rattling in the kitchen Snowy came in with a tray with a pot of tea and 2 cups. "Am afraid the milks gone awf so yis el haf te swally it black." Snowy put the tray on the coffee ta...
Posted by on Mon, 20 Nov 2006 03:54:00 GMT

Wingnong Remembers

Wingnong and Jingnong did not know what to make of this strange dog Snowy who seemed to know them while they didn't know him. The only thing they remembered was life in the under water forest which wa...
Posted by on Sun, 05 Nov 2006 10:44:00 GMT

Wingnong and Jingnong meet Snowy

Jingnong and Wingnong lay on the ground staring up at the giant egg suspended above them like a huge flying saucer except with no lights and shaped like an egg lying on it's side. It was weird to thin...
Posted by on Thu, 19 Oct 2006 05:34:00 GMT

Jingnong and Wingnong in the Under Water Forest

Have you ever heard of the under water forest where fish nest in the trees? Well that's where a brother and sister called Jingnong and Wingnong live in a water proof cabin made of metal deep in t...
Posted by on Mon, 09 Oct 2006 05:05:00 GMT

Kate Moss Touched My Twix!

I had a very busy week last week. I was gigging all over the country from Sligo to Tallaght to Athlone to Waterford with a gig in Vicar St with Pat Shortt in between. I was in a club called Ten in Wat...
Posted by on Mon, 02 Oct 2006 12:22:00 GMT

wae bonnie lass a snurgled

Ive had a few comments inferring I ejaculated on Gary Numan at the Electric Picnic. His lawyers have even been on to me about it but as I said to them, "I wouldn't give that scaldy hoor the satis...
Posted by on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 04:44:00 GMT