grant profile picture

grant

I am a cowboy, looking for anything heavy.

About Me

I'm a gentle forest ogre with zero direction and no sense of beard management. I also smell fucking great.

My Interests

Dance fever, naked shrimp parties, dominating the octagon, break-neck speeds with crippling lows.

I'd like to meet:

Sea monsters and crusty pirates. Crawdad at Old T. Breeze in the bonus room. Papa in a dark saloon with nothing but a bottle of rum between us.

Music:

Kidz Bop 1,3,4,and 7. Geto Boys, Bitch Slicer, Opeth, Keystone Eyes, The Miscarried, The Nothing, Tomahawk. "Heart and Soul" By Huey Lewis and the News. The Weak, Dragon Force, Nile, Celly cell, C.R.I.S.I.S., Steely Dan, The Advantage, Grand Buffet, Mastadon, MURDERLAND, Slut Magnet. The Happy Boys, Brotha Lynch, D.C. Talk.

Movies:

Heat, Usual Suspects, Se7en, Mortal Kombat, Erectus. Any movie staring lethal face-breaker and master thespien Steven Segal. Contact, Demolition Man, A History of Violence, Toxic Avenger 4: Citizen Toxie

Television:

Into LOST and the Simpsons. Streets of S.F. is a good one as well. Extras, 30 Rock, Conan, VBS.

Books:

The Tales of Alvin Maker, G.I. JOE, Sandman, Fields of Fire, Marmaduke collection 2

Heroes:

Steven Segal, and the juice dude with those wild eyebrows. Wes Mantooth. Jerry Orbach and Settlemeyer, Crawdad, pat, Becca.

My Blog

Top 5 reasons for getting a Purple Heart

5- Landmine abortion 4- Sand Flu 3- My fucking legs got blown off by a roadside bomb 2- Swamp-foot 1- Broken heart
Posted by grant on Thu, 27 Oct 2005 01:55:00 PST

Top 10 Porno Titles

Top 10 Porno Titles 10- Butt Plug Bandits 3:  Drain Cloggers   9- Earl Gays TeaBag Explosion   8- King Tung: Egyptian Lover   7- FrankenPenis   6- Bride of FrankenPenis &nbs...
Posted by grant on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 07:45:00 PST

Triathalon

It's early yet. The remains of a triathalon wobble and jog by. I sit in glareing contadiction on a nearby bench easing a filter and indulging a malted beer. Their faces shaded and straind. Mine comfe...
Posted by grant on Sun, 18 Sep 2005 11:14:00 PST

Top 10 least ordered sandwiches or least asked questions at a deli.

10.    Mancheese manwich 9.      Roast beef and poo-log 8.     "I brought my own turkey, can you microwave it for 57 minutes?" 7.  &nbs...
Posted by grant on Tue, 23 Aug 2005 07:53:00 PST

HST

    He was a page burner, smoldering among countless other writers who tried to scribe the great American dream on cocktail ringed napkins and war-torn journal alike.  A feral wove...
Posted by grant on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST