This is not Ducky profile picture

This is not Ducky

thehatemonkey

About Me

I like pickled eggs, things made of leather, and Johnny Mathis music by the fire. I don't like people, but I enjoy gatherings. I don't think my tongue fits properly in my mouth and it has been bothering me lately. I loathe any event that mandates tucking in my shirt.

My Interests

I'm interested in TV... and sitting. The Colts, Yankees, Blackhawks, Mavs; Storms, low light, being able to say exactly what is necessary to end the conversation, amicably; Meatballs, beer, any cooking supplies endorsed by aged athletes; People who don't sacrifice intelligent debate for mundane chatter.

I'd like to meet:

Nobody, people annoy me.

Music:

Mitch Miller, Doobie Brothers, any group with bitchin' dance moves, The Smiths, Dead Milkmen, Smoking Popes, DSE, Zeppelin, Duran Duran, The Cure, Morrisey, A Split-Second, Front 242, Green Day, Aquabats, The Who, Mac Davis, B.J. Thomas, Neil Diamond, Anne Murray (The Canadian sondbird), The Honey Drippers, Chicago (not the 80's junk), Any surf music, Run DMC, NWA, The Roots, New Order, The Pixies, Joy Division, Rev. Horton Heat, Misfits, The Clash, Marley, CCR, Stevie Wonder, Al Green, Harry Connick, all the Marsalis Family, anything on Sun Records, anything on 2Tone, anything on Sub Pop, Willie, Waylon, Shooter, Johnny, Faron Young, etc., etc.

Movies:

Anything with Steve Gutenberg or post Gutenberg Police Academy movies. Movies that don't force a happy ending because "that's what people want to see."

Television:

Yes, please.

Books:

see brant KAB's list... and whatever Oprah says I should read.

Heroes:

Cap'n Carl, Mel (the cook on Alice), and P-Money (Peyton Manning)

My Blog

27

October&  thank god I made my wife sign a pre-marital contract making me exempt from all family obligations during the MLB playoffs.  Nothing in sports compares to the elation of October vic...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:15:00 PST

Rambling Confessions of a Narcissist.

-My children are obsessed with putting their hands in my drink.-I am listening to "Wind of Change" by the Scorpions (awful song). He says Gorky Park in one of the opening lines and that is just funny...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 05:42:00 PST

Work and the death of Dora the Explorer

   Let's see& where did we leave off?  Oh, yes.  New job, new group of morons to reinforce my lack of faith in the survival of mankind, and one hot fucking summer that sucks my wil...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Thu, 09 Aug 2007 12:47:00 PST

Patience

I got a real job, had internet problems, most importantly not a lot to say to the masses. I will be back and bitter as ever, shortly. I'll tell a tale of man who packs cigarettes in his lunch box an...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:22:00 PST

(F.W.) Gross misunderstanding

   Well, it seems I have lost my job.  No, not seems.  I have lost my job.  I was informed last Thursday that the school district is not renewing my contract for next year.&nb...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Tue, 22 May 2007 09:22:00 PST

To Treat the Dead

The following is a recent article about the possible misconceptions regarding cell death.  The implications are astounding.  Enjoy.The new science of resuscitation is changing the way doctor...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Thu, 10 May 2007 06:44:00 PST

"Live in the now." - Garth Algar

   What is the problem?  I have been receiving a mass amount of nostalgic, "what happened to the good old days",  "wonder what (fill in name) is up to" types of correspondence thes...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Wed, 09 May 2007 01:21:00 PST

General Lee (the car, jackass)

How can you fucking sell the General Lee? Well, your hero and mine, Bo Duke himself, Jon Schneider is selling the famed TV car on Ebay. 29 bids and a price of $527,100 (reserve not met). Reserv...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Tue, 01 May 2007 07:37:00 PST

Rants (v 1.0)

Gitanjali, Nasmeiry, Chantayvia, Bre'haven.  These are not names from a foreign land or mystical world.  These kids go to my school.  What would lead a parent to pick these names. ...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 08:43:00 PST

Inspired (honestly)

     I am a sports fan.  All sports.  Being a sports fan carries with it the potential for both immense joy and disappointment. There's the thrill of watching the players...
Posted by This is not Ducky on Mon, 16 Apr 2007 09:18:00 PST