Jenna

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Hi my name is Jennifer a.k.a. Jenna. I am the wife of Joe and the mother of Autumn, Joseph, and Jonathan. I also have 4 BEAUTIFUL step daughters and 1 SUPER HANDSOME grandson. I am a psychiatric nurse thank goodness because if I didn't work there I know I would have been there a few times. Life doesn't pass anyone by. Over the past 3 years my children have overcome some of the most difficult trials I could ever imagine...they were all 3 abused by someone they loved and trusted. I can't explain the earthquake this sends through a family, through a soul. But I can say WHAT DOESN'T BREAK YOU MAKES YOU STRONG--as Carrie Underwood puts it in her song "Lessons Learned" With permission from my children I wanted to write about what I have learned from these experiences because if we choose to grow and learn from every experience in life we can help others and become better people. Everything happens for a reason... no matter what we think... we can choose to take something good from EVERY experience. Bad and Good. They all teach us something...it's up to us if we are open to learn. We might learn something new about ourselves or something new about someone esle but we will learn something new someone new and we choose to make it a positive or a negative experience. Bad things happen to good people all the time. Bad things happen to everyone. We as people need to support each other and love one another. Secrets and fear lead to more violence and more secrets and more fear. Talking out loud about what has happend to you whether you are the victim or the mother or the father or the brother or the sister or the grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt, friend, whatever... is VITALLY important in the healing process. My daughter told me, "mom, it hurt's more to know someone you love got hurt than to get hurt yourself." Sometimes we isolate victims of crime because we think they don't want to talk or they don't want to have us bring it up...we end up isolating ourselves!! The only way for infected wounds to heal is to drain out the infection. It is so hard making sense of all the confusion in your head... when we were little and did something wrong we felt guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, humiliated. We learned at an early age that when we do something wrong we feel bad about it. When a person is sexually abused the first thing they feel is guilty, ashamed, humiliated, embarrassed... your mind plays tricks on you... why if I didn't do anything wrong do I feel this way... I learned at an early age when I do something wrong these are the feelings that come... Little children feel guilty, ashamed, humiliated, embarassed... Rape is not your fault no matter how you feel... talking about it is the only way to make those feelings go away. My husband and I go round and round about whether or not we keep this "on the down low" He worries... what will people say...what will people think... God Love Him!!! He is the Best!! I say "Joe, do you care if anyone knows that Joseph is flat footed?" "No!" "would you care if anyone knew that he had heart disease...if he did?" "no!" Why?...Because he didn't do anything wrong...Well he didn't do anything wrong!!!! I don't want my children ever to feel like we try to keep what happened a secret or we don't want people to know because... What am I ashamed of?... what do they have to be ashamed of?... NOTHING!!! thier perp has something to be ashamed of. However...last but definately not least FORGIVENESS... takes a long time to feel. But needs to be the ultimate goal of EVERY victim. Forgiveness doesn't mean inviting your enemy to dinner. It means loving them enough to pray for them every night... that they are blessed with what their heart and soul stands in need of... in order to heal and never hurt another human being... after all that kind of healing can only come from Our Father. And he sent his son to die for all sins... not just the little ones. I don't believe any human bieng on this earth was born a monster... We all make bad choices from time to time. Forgiveness is something we all need to give and get. If we carry around hatered, anger, and fear every day we become our own victims. Just remember fear, anger, hatred, and resentment take up a lot of energy. Fogiveness=Freedom and Peace:) I love this life, I have been blessed. I pray that you, whoever you are... are blessed also with whatever your heart and soul stands in needs of. Have Courage:)

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If I could impress or impose one thought upon you... it would be that pedophiles look like you and me... sometimes better... scary people don't attract children... they scare them away... ask your children every day... what is the best thing that happened to you today? What is the worst thing that happened to you today? Remind them EVERY SINGLE DAY that you are on their side and there is NOTHING they could ever do to make you not love them... and if anyone ever tells you any different it's a lie. I ALWAYS LOVE YOU. Tell your children you trust them. Tell them they are good even if they make mistakes. Tell them the only thing in the world that would hurt you is losing them. Pedophiles are tricky, manipulative, and prey on a childs fear... most children fear MORE THAN ANYTHING... their family not loving them or someone getting hurt that they love. Remind them daily... "I love you more than everything... please always tell me the truth bad or good... I love you."Joe, I remember seeing you first when I was only 7 years old and telling my step sister I just had to have you...I was going to marry you someday...I knew you held the key that would unlock my heart and set my spirit free to soar above the clouds and into the heavens...you are my best friend, you are my soul mate, you are my first and last thought each day, because of you I have become a better me... I love you... and I am very proud of you... I am very sorry for breaking your heart... I forgive you for ever breaking mine but I am thankful for all we have overcome... we are strong... you are the strongest man I know. I love you forever and always. Jenna
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