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bart

The Chairman is in the house .. Step into my office.

About Me

" / Get Your Own Voice Player ManageThe details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really.

My Interests

Gravy, beef, chicken, cheese, meatburgers, fish skins, kibbles, bits, french fries, sleeping, snoring, snorting, belly rubs, my kitty.

I'd like to meet:

Hot pugs, Hot librarians, OG's, Pirates, Zombies, Ninjas, Meatwad.

Music:

Favorite artists: Meatloaf, Snoop Dogg, Biggie, Sinatra, M.I.A, Jr. Gong.Favorite Songs: Atomic Dog. Who Let The Dogs Out.

Movies:

Best of Show. Men in Black. Austin Powers. Milo and Otis. Big Lebowski. Snow leopard documentaries.

Television:

The Food Channel. Sopranos. Celebrity Pooches. Pimp My Dogdish. Animal Planet. Seinfeld.

Books:

Huh?

Heroes:

DaBlack, Takeru Kobayashi, Tom Tomorrow, The Dude, Tupac, Biggie.