Dr. Montrose profile picture

Dr. Montrose

The Poor Man's Wendell Bortman

About Me



I am maybe a little different

My Interests

Traveler's Amnesia, Railway Spine, and Suicide Disease.
1995-era Emo Hardcore(?)(vox/gtr): myspace.com/manwithoutplan

I'd like to meet:

Lots of spam-people.

Music:

Jawbreaker, Pantera, Slayer, Cage, Motley Crue, Avail, Spazz, Propagandhi, Inside Out, Burn, Hellbender, The Marshes, Hallraker, Deadguy, Nas, Blondie, They Might Be Giants, Gang Starr, Coalesce, Converge, Weezer, Hot Water Music, Weston, Plow United, Burnt By The Sun, Van Halen, Flight Of The Conchords, Cephalic Carnage, Discordance Axis, Billy Bragg, Against Me!, Megadeth, Screeching Weasel, All/Descendents, Soundgarden, Piebald, Bad Brains, Dying Fetus, Jedi Mind Tricks, Death, Behold...The Arctopus, Pearl Jam, Cynic, Lifetime, Meshuggah, Wu-Tang/ODB, Tenacious D, Snapcase, Suffocation, Fugazi, His Hero Is Gone, Every Time I Die, A Wilhelm Scream, 88 Fingers Louie, Rancid, Between The Buried And Me, Henry Rollins, Charles Bronson, Circle Jerks, Guns 'N Roses, Elvis Costello, Dinosaur Jr., Ivor Cutler, Serpico, Cro-Mags, Flag Of Democracy, The Thumbs, Kool Keith, Immolation, The Muffs, Infest, Assuck, Billy Joel, Chisel, Dillinger Four and Escape Plan, Refused, Slayer, George Carlin, Metallica, Judge, Operation Ivy, Youth Of Today, Black Flag, Jets To Brazil, Misfits, NOFX, Lamb Of God, A Life Once Lost, Aggression, Morbid Angel, Weathermen, Dag Nasty, Agnostic Front, Bad Religion.

With just a touch of my burning hands I'm gonna live my life to destroy this world

That's right, I'm king-size twisted, fucked up pissed it's true

You know, the model type who never becomes a model...counts her tips with bloody hands from opening bottles

New York's all right, if you want to get pushed in front of the subway

Dreams made of steel, stronger than any faith that inflicts pain and fear

I know I used to act real calm, but now I'm cuckoo

Death is ugly because you fear it; it's beautiful, the demons

Those you call dogs will rat your name, those who say they love you attack your change; that's why I throw down four fingers...say fuck the world and jimmy the earth out with coat hangers

I guess it's not really painting, if it's all intention...all intention, no paint

All the little things that you got caught up in don't mean shit now.

I'll turn your mind to aluminum, plus your teams' - if you sleep, I'll recycle your brain and crush your dreams

Movies:

"Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes"
- from The Spanish Prisoner

Airplane 2, Fletch, Caddyshack, Batman, Jacob's Ladder, Mystery Science Theater 3000 seasons 5.5 through 10, Rifftrax, Star Wars, Alien fiveology, AVP, AVP2, GI Joe.

Television:


What..s your pimped out ghetto thug weapon?
The Car Key
You're in to brutally ripping apart people's faces with keys while they're down. No one knows how you got the key, cuz you're too much of a thug to own anything you'd need a key for. Oh well.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Books:

David Foster Wallace, Thomas Pynchon, The Books Of The Subgenius, The Onion, The Big Book Of Conspiracies, Punisher or GI Joe graphic novels, Bukowski, Miyamoto Musashi, Bill Bryson, Matthew Polly, Sun Tzu, George Carlin

Heroes:

John Cleese. George Carlin. Chevy Chase. Mike Nelson. Grandmaster Frank Demaria.
Venus flytraps, poison ivy, and deadly nightshade.

My Blog

Holy Fuck! George Carlin Dead At 71!

This is the closest I've come to actually being sad/depressed about a celebrity dying. When I was 10, my dad gave me a stack of 8 George Carlin cassettes to "borrow". I never returned them, and procee...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 11:56:00 PST

The Crompound

I started to try to write a eulogy for mine and others' life at the Crompound, a small house on a property of three houses in Cortlandt Manor up at the very top of Westchester. I realized immediately ...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:55:00 PST

Top Spam Names/Subjects

Lately, I've been getting only spam first names - they must know I've been writing about them. Here are the last good full names I received:1) Inderpal Guinn2) Chaim Collazo3) Araldo KarpannenThe subj...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:31:00 PST

New Photos

New photos:I never actually put anything on here about what happened on September 11th, 2006 - The short version of the story is that Noah Lyon, a 220-lb mental patient who was my roommate at the time...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Sat, 16 Feb 2008 10:58:00 PST

Review: Michael Showalter/Michael Ian Black Dec 1st

This was an interesting night. I don't know whose idea it was to fill Irving Plaza (sorry, the Fillmore) with folding chairs and make it a comedy club, but luckily it worked out for the best. I was no...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Wed, 05 Dec 2007 12:14:00 PST

Applicable Musical Quotes

...without the notes."Living alone is like dying alive - your body shakes although you still feel still. Pain is nothing, it's not the right kind."0range 9mm"One of these days I'm gonna pay it back, p...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Mon, 19 Nov 2007 08:29:00 PST

Junk Mail

A new source of vocabulary for young adults is now accepting submissions for mnemonic sentences. (Young adults love vocabulary)We will pay you $.50 per sentence accepted for publication. (Ching!) The ...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Thu, 15 Nov 2007 02:37:00 PST

Psyched!

Things not to do when you're psyched:1) Shave2) Eat butterscotch cookies that may break your teeth
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Sat, 10 Nov 2007 03:26:00 PST

Yeah, Valium’s Fun

Night? Day? Who knows? Matters?
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:17:00 PST

CLNCH

I'm gonna tell you about by new rapping style before I debut it into actual musical form. It's a gimmick I invented - possibly my first ever? Called CLNCH. All these genres, I need my own. So it's gon...
Posted by Dr. Montrose on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 06:08:00 PST