Myspace Layouts - Myspace Editor - Hot Graphics
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I suppose one of the first things anyone should know about me is that I am an alcoholic and I found out a long time ago that anonymity doesn't work in my world. The disease does not dictate my life but it has set parameters on it. I had to learn the hard way to live within certain boundaries. It certainly explains many of my personality traits, along with being a Gemini, if you lean towards belief in such things.. jokingly, I fit the role well. I am the wretch the song is about.. I once was lost and then was found, or rather hounded by God until I could do no more fighting and found in surrender my freedom.. Jacob fighting with the angel until he was crippled is my favorite story, my son is named Benjamin after his son, 'son of my right hand' and so he is. Sara, my daughter is truly her Biblical namesake, a princess of her own nation. I do not 'live' well, never have, never will, but God sees fit to keep me here while He does, and offers me moments of such sheer joy, it is a fair trade and one I'm willing to abide by. I love people though people scare me, kinda odd for a nurse to say, but there it is. So, I am adept at being a chameleon, changing to fit the circumstances, yet change itself is hard for me. I am still half in love with darkness, my demons were my company for so long and they sing like sirens in the back of my mind always, so brooding comes naturally. Living sober is as unatural to an alcoholic as it is for a fish to live on dry land, a tiger in a cage.. so I live as a stranger in a strange land; most people think I'm just a tad 'off' and I guess I am. I crave beauty in my surroundings, Peace in my being, I crave being in His presence. I get lonely sometimes but am never alone, He is with me always. Anyway, that's just a bit 'about me' for ya..................................................
