The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it... fine... cooking, a lot of cooking, peircings/tattoos, waffle house, waffle 'n' steak, steak 'n' shake, movies, metal, jazz, classical, hip-hop, anti-country, anti-bush, Dali, Escher, Boris Vallejo, Luis Royo, Michael Whelan, hackysac, drums, cowbell, more cowbell, we need more cowbell, tapping on almost anything, being a smartass, pissing people off whom I don't like, pissing people off my friends don't like, pissing people off who happen to be around, vandalism, stealing stupid shit, putting that shit in weird places, pulling The "Walker: Texas Ranger" Lever, drinking Corona with a lotta lime, Jack Daniels, Vanilla Rum, Guinness, Irish Cream, Irish Car Bombs, doing Irish jigs, Riverdancing, random stupid pointless information, sittin around at my apartment, at other peoples' places, in diners, videogames, cheating on videogames, swearing, lots of swearing, swearing in front of children, corrupting children, cuddling, spooning, walkin around, hating Rachel Ray, really hating Emeril, loving the commentary on Iron Chef, watchin jeopardy, watchin celebrity jeopardy skits, watchin porn, makin porn, makin friends, talking to people at diners I've never met before, striking up conversations about things people wouldn't normally talk about but everyone prolly thinks about, making fun of popped collars, making fun of unorginal tattoos such as fresh-off-the-wall tribals symbols and fire, I hate butterflies and your-own-name tattoos, fiddling with stuff when I'm bored, showering, occasionally sleeping, running a mogwai farm, flirting, being loud, unnecessarily loud, yelling, yelling obscenities, talking to random people in their cars whilst driving around with my mega-phone, get a few drinks in me and start a fire in someone's kitchen, y'know. Fun stuff.
Raoul Duke, Dr. Gonzo, Kacey Ryeback, Carl Spackler, Jules Winfield, Yoda, Forrest Gump, Silent Bob, Magellen, Kooie, Lt. Ellen Ripley, Meatwad, Tyler Durden, T1000, Freddy Krueger, Neo, Mr. Pink, Charles Foster Kane, Frank the Tank, Booger, Bluto Blutarsky, Conan O'Brien, Johny Number 5, Ruby Rod, The Dude, Rocco the Funny Man, Dirty Harry, Michael Caine, Godzilla, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman, Ron Burgundy, Jack the Ripper, Batman, Armand, Marius, John McClane, Edward Scissorhands, Rocky Balboa, John Shaft, Prot, Raymond Babbitt, Mace Windu, Carrie White, Dr. Strangelove, Gumby, Tony Montana, Pac-Man, Kevin McCallister, Buttercup, Mary Poppins, John Bartlett, Venkman, Winston, Ray, Egon, Samus Aran, Charlie Chaplin, The Master Chief, Travis Bickle, Heihachi, Ace Ventura, Oda Mae Brown, Roger “Verbal†Kint, Cloud Strife, Willie Wonka, Jack Skelington, Jack Torrance, King Kong, Mad Max Rockatansky, Ren and Stimpy, Tony Manero, Chuck Norris, James Bond, Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore, Birdman, Peter Griffin, Christopher Walken, Freakazoid, Battletoads, Alex DeLarge, Yoshi, Hannibal Lector, Sickboy, Dracula, Randle Patrick McMurphy, Norman Bates, Solid Snake, Jeff Spicoli, Gollum, Dr. Evil, Pinhead, Indiana Jones, Bigfoot, Lizardman, Enigma, E.T., Wayne Campbell, Garth Algar, Beldar Conehead, Master Splinter, Jessica Rabbit, Ichabod Crane, Annie Wilkes, Nancy Callahan, Sonic the Hedgehog, Bob Barker, Captain Spaulding, Captain Quint, Captain Ron, Captain Ahab, William Wallace, and God played by Alanis Morissette
adopt your own virtual pet! Which of the X-men do you resemble most?
You are Beast of the X-men!With all that knowledge upstairs it's hard to relate to people. Sometimes you just find yourself enjoying a lab expeiriements. you are an adventurer anda great friend!
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Pantera, Beastie Boys, Beck, Static-X, Mushroomhead, Otep, Rage Against the Machine, Lamb of God, Mudvayne, Rob/White Zombie, Smashing Pumpkins, Ok Go, Ankla, Meshuggah, Marilyn Manson, 311, Busta Rhymes, Nine Inch Nails, Rolling Stones, Apocalyptica, Aphex Twin, Celldweller, Stephen Lynch, Tenacious D, Aerosmith, Primus, Flying Frog Brigade, Hardknox, Rob D, 50 Cent, (Hed) P.E., Prodigy, Tool, Coal Chamber, old Metallica, A Perfect Circle, Deftones, Damage Plan, Slayer, Powerman 5000, Jimi Hendrix, Soulfly, Led Zeppelin, Dr. Dre, Black Eyed Peas, Tchaichovski, Outkast, Jamiroquai, Queen, Gorillaz, Hatebreed, Richard Cheese, Rammstein, Santana, Hive, Kidney Thieves, Superjoint Ritual, Mirwais, Snoop Dogg, Black Sabbath, Mindless Self-Indulgence, Cypress Hill, Mozart, System of a Down, The Herbaliser, Primer 55, Ludacris, Massive Attack, AC/DC, Miles Davis... cause peeing your pants is cool.
Stranger Than Fiction, Snatch, Revolver, 300, Oldboy, Sweeny Todd, Crash, Scorched, the Jackasses, Talladega Nights, Waiting, Four Rooms, Lucky Number Slevin, the Aliens, the Predators, the 40 Year Old Virgin, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The 007 movies with Sean Connary and the new guy, Swingers, Mallrats, Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Island, Bio-Dome, Clerks 1 and 2, Go, Donnie Darko, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Pleasantville, Interview with the Vampire, all the Matrixes (or is it Matrices?), Old School, The Crow, City of Lost Children, Fight Club, Resevoir Dogs, Spaceballs, Boondock Saints, Big Lebowski, Anchorman, Garden State, Godzilla vs. anyone, Forrest Gump, Terminator 2, Batteries Not Included, From Hell, Ocean's 11 and 12, Alice in Wonderland, Tron, Batman 1, 2, and Begins, Super Troopers, The Nightmare of Elm Street, What About Bob, Hero, The Ghost and the Darkness, The Rock, Highlander, Minority Report, Austin Powers, Bill, Finding Forrester, Indiana Jones, Frailty, Requiem for a Dream, Harry and the Hendersons, Identity, the Wayne's Worlds, Billy Madison, Dazed and Confused, Tommy Boy, Ghostbusters, Cone Heads, Jury Duty, Nightmare Before Christmas, Sleepy Hollow, Dark City, Swordfish, Ninja Turtles, Suicide Club, Big Fish, Man on Fire, Eurotrip, The Saint, K-PAX, the 007's with Sean Connary, Good Will Hunting, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Shining, Orgasmo, Abyss, the Saws, In the Army Now, The Mexican, Short Circuit, Gladiator, Michael, Enter the Dragon, Cool World, Thursday, Black Sheep, Half-Baked, SLC Punk, Braveheart, Way of the Gun (just the beginning), Rocky Horror Picture Show, American History X, Dumb and Dumber, old martial arts movies, Fifth Element, the Die Hards, Catch Me If You Can, Christmas Vacation, The Monty Pythons, Strangeland, Tombstone, I Robot, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Blazing Saddles, Happy Gilmore, Desparado, Trainspotting, Kung Pow, shitty B movies, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Kill Bill, Dogma, Kung Fu Hustle, Critters, A Night at the Roxbury, Sin City, Pulp Fiction, too many more... um, tell me if I named somethin twice
Food Network, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, Harvey Birdman, Tom & Jerry, South Park, old SNL, Scrubs, and Jeopardy. I kick ass at Jeopardy. Taboo, Chapelle's Show, Simpsons, Reno 911, Rocko's Modern Life, Freakazoid, Invader Zim, Animaniacs, Robot Chicken, Ren & Stimpy, National Geographic, History, and Discovery Channel, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Walker: Texas Ranger. Back in the day: Eureka's Castle, Ninja Turtles, ThunderCats, and Ghostbusters.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Flatland, Fight Club, Alices Adventures in Wonderland, the Vampire Chronicles, Culinary Artistry, The Clan Novels, Uncle John's Bathroom Readers, Where the Wild Things Are, Trainspotting, Gastronimique, How to Survive in Worst Case Scenarios, Where the Sidewalk Ends, Falling Up, The Giver, an ass load of cooking books, random trivia books, The World Without Us
Because of my layout it for some reason has to say somewhere that I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4 might as well wear a goddamn abercrombie shirt *shudder*..START BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE
The Survey Where You Say The First Word That Comes To Mind. Yay.
What comes to mind when you hear..
..snow?: out there
..rain?: next month
..tornado?: hoping for em
..summer love?: i hate 311
..Jon?: Garfield
..Mike?: Meezy
..Shea?: who?
..banana?: phone
..dizzy?: devil
..Laura?: pook
..Juan?: Valdez
..car?: green
..white?: snow
..peppermint?: those red and white gross mints
..New Found Glory?: fucking sucks
..placebo?: sugarpill
..orange juice?: now with less pulp
..candid camera?: voyerism
..sister?: amber and danielle
..brother?: ralph
..hate?: grr face
..school?: sullivan
..President?: fucktard
..football?: WE WON!
..rap?: izzle
..pop?: michael jackson
..rock?: out with your cock out
..punk?: fake
..sex?: sure
..death?: norm macdonald
..baby?: the other white meat
..duuude?: wheres my car
..the end?: where the sidewalk ends
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