Eulogy for my brother:
There are so many thoughts racing through my mind about my brother, Jeffrey. I was a little over 4 years old when Jeff was born, and I was so happy to have a real life baby doll to play with. I also appreciated when he came along, because he gave me my special place in our family as the middle child. I was relieved to know that I had a partner who would help me to put up with our older sister, Rachel. Soon I realized that, in order to protect himself, Jeffrey would often join forces with Rachel instead. For the most part, though, he stayed impartial to both Rachel and I.
I have so many memories of my brother, that I am not sure where to begin, and I wish I could sit here for hours and hours and tell you all about my brother, but for those of you who knew him well, I must tell you that I am not quite as long winded as he was.
When Jeff was younger, in elementary school, I loved having him around. We used to wrestle all the time when I was bigger then him, and I would always start on my knees and let him start by standing, to give him an advantage, but I usually won.
I remember when I was in 5th grade, and Jeffrey was in Kindergarten, I was so excited to have my little brother at my elementary school, and I always wanted to protect him…
I remember when Jeff started taking guitar lessons, and pretty soon he was writing his own music. I enjoyed watching his music progress and mature, and have many amazing memories of sitting around campfires and living rooms and singing songs with him. Jeff even learned how to play some Indigo Girls, Grateful Dead, and Phish songs for me.
When my husband Jordan and I were dating, we joined my family for our annual trip Up North to the cottage. Jeff and my brother-in-law Jason hijacked Jordan in a row boat with a 6-pack of beer to give him the 3rd degree, and from that moment on, they were all brothers.
I was so honored when Jeffrey wrote an amazing song for Jordan and I for our wedding last November, and I am glad that I will always have that. I am so blessed that my husband Jordan, and my brother Jeffrey were able to become close. My husband and I loved that Jeffrey always called Jordan “bro†and welcomed him with open arms as a brother.
When I think of my brother Jeffrey, I think of competition. I think of playing many games of scrabble, hearts, euchre, a variety of Nintendo games, and more. He loved to be competitive, but he always hated to lose, and I always found joy in beating him at games.
Jeff and I saw lots of good music together, and I will always remember rocking out and dancing with him, and I can just picture the big grin on his face as he would look at me while we were dancing to amazing music in all sorts of venues across our country. The last time I spoke to Jeff on the phone, I told him about all the great music I had seen that week, and how much I loved dancing at the shows. He just said to me that he loved that I was still rockin out and enjoying life. I will continue to dance and enjoy good music, not only for myself, but for my brother.
Jeff and I were very close, and I felt like I could tell him anything, and he could tell me anything. We confided in each other often about love, life, relationships. We shared profound thoughts and many deep conversations which I will always embrace in my heart. I learned so much from him. He had such a positive outlook on life. I appreciated that he always supported me in my relationships and decisions. He was always positive and enthusiastic about everything I did, and I was so lucky to have his support and encouragement.
When Jeffrey told me that he wanted to move to California a couple of years ago, I was so excited. Although he only stayed in San Diego for 7 months or so, we made the most of the time that he had out there with me. We consistently saw each other at least once a week, even though he lived 40 minutes away. We got good quality time together. He got to see how I live my life on the west coast, and he also realized that the west coast was not for him. He had always talked about wanting to move to New York City, and our entire family was so excited when he got into NYU for graduate school. He was going to move there this Fall, and was so excited.
I admire that Jeffrey always took the time to genuinely get to know people. He loved life and he loved people, and he enjoyed sharing his life with as many people as he could.
I love that Jeffrey always did what he wanted to do. He was a one of a kind, and made decisions based on what he wanted out of life. I know how happy he was with where he was at in his life. He loved being the director of Kennedy, and had been looking forward to this summer, since last summer. I know that he was happy and fulfilled with life until the very end.
Jeff, Rachel, and I have been blessed with being raised by such wonderful and loving parents who gave us a solid Jewish foundation and a strong sense of family. Our family, including grandparent, aunts, uncles, and cousins are all SO close. Jeffrey knew that he was loved by everyone, and he gave so much love to all of us.
I am at a loss. What else do I think of when I think of Jeff? Pizza…. (He loved his hot ‘n’ ready), music, Pistons games, tigers games, going to his T-ball games when he was little, watching him break dance to Michael Jackson’s beat-it when he was maybe 5 years old at Butzel family camp, being staff kids at Tamarack together, family vacations, long talks and intense conversations, hugs, the love for Agree that he shared with me, sitting outside late at night up north on the dock and looking at the stars and watching the northern lights, visiting me at college, millennium new years in Florida, playing with our he-man and Barbie dolls together, laughing a lot, painting my condo, Thanksgivings with hot chocolate and baby marshmallows and popcorn for breakfast, sharing Spartan pride toward our alma mater MSU, a love of nature, walking on the cliffs at the ocean by his pad in San Diego, Shabbats at Nana and Papa’s, Jeff running around the house in his underoos and pretending to be a super hero…. Now he is my super hero…..
He was so animated and had the best facial expressions which I will never forget!
The last time I saw Jeffrey was in April when I came home for Passover. I knew that I would not see him during my trip to Michigan this summer because he was at Camp Kennedy. When I said good-bye to him, we gave each other extra hugs. He held me in his arms and I rested my head on his chest. I was upset because I didn’t know when I would see him again, and I wished him luck on his future move to New York. He assured me that we would see each other soon, and now I know that he is with me all the time.
Not only has my immediate family lost Jeff, but so have our extended family, Jeff’s friends, his campers, and our entire community.
Jeffrey and I had, and always will have a deep love for each other. I am blessed and forever changed to have been a sister to Jeffrey Andrew Grey. I will miss him more than I can even put into words, but I know that he will always be with me and looking out for me. I will strive to live my life as full as Jeffrey lived his and as full as he wanted me to live mine. Everything I do from this day forth will not only be for me, but in honor of Jeffrey and his love of life. We all need to remember to embrace each moment as if it were our last. Jeff’s life was taken way too soon, but we all need to continue to live our lives and honor my brother, ourselves, and our own families.
Jeffrey, I love you so much, and I miss you already!
