how does it feel to feel - ProfilesArchive

My Interests

Music:

adorable, windy and carl, spacemen 3, sigur ros, spiritualized, verve, cocteau twins, ride, godspeedyoublackemperor, mogwai, mybloodyvalentine, slowdive, redhousepainters (mark kozelek as well), joy division, jesus and mary chain, kitchens of distinction, color filter, belle and sebastian, pavement, yo la tengo., chapterhouse., autechre., aphex twin, mazzy star., lush, chameleons uk, helium, porcupine tree., boo radleys....sonic youth....jazz butchers conspiracy...the cure...the smiths..seBADoh....the atomic missiles...pink floyd (especially early stuff with syd barrett)...radiohead...windy and carl...transient waves...legendary pink dots...seefeel..thinking fellers union local 282 (quite possibly the strangest band ive ever seen perform live)..joy division...mojave3...adorable...belle and sebastian...pixies...pj harvey, tori amoss, bjork, suugarcubes, swervedriver....adorable..velvet underground..cat power...lush..

Movies:

the book of life, trust, surviving desire, amateur, the unbelievable truth.......better off dead, pretty in pink, say anything.....the texas chainsaw massacre (original)...the kingdom, blue velvet...heavenly creatures..my dinner with andre...the forbiden planet...pi...twentyfour hour party people... lost in translation...the virgin suicides..

Television:

cat tv, twin peaks, and the daily show.

Books:

either/or...poetry, language, thought...the holographic universe...the alchemist, the complete works of william blake, thus spoke zarathustra, the gay science, nausea, the stranger, mrs. dalloway, the waves, the second sex, the little prince., wasted, alice in wonderland, paradise lost, frankenstein, the second sex, the sorrows of young werther, brave new world, nausea, the bell jar,crime and punishment, notes from the underground, confessions of an english opium eater and suspira de profundis, the wisdom of insecurity, the picture of dorian gray,*****book recommendations will be greatly appreciated****

Heroes:

nietzsche and me"how greedily this wave approaches, as if it were after something! how it crawls with terrifying haste into the inmost nooks of this labrynthine cliff! it seems that it is trying to anticipate someone; it seems that something of value, high value, must be hidden there. - and now it comes back, a little more slowly but still quite white with excitement; is it disapointed? has it found what it looked for? does it pretend to be disapointed?- but already another wave is approaching, still more greedily and more savagely than the first, and its soul, too, seems to be full of secrets and the lust to dig up treasures. thus live waves-thus live we who will-more i shall not say"the gay science nietzsche

My Blog

one year...

sometimes it seems as though it were yesterday that my father was laying in the hospital his face and body yellow even the whites of his eyes yellow and i remember we talked and i told him it was ok f...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 08:05:00 PST

missing you...

there is a star that is named after him (my dad) he passed away on january twentyfourth last year.. this is so hard..i wish he was still here...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Thu, 04 Jan 2007 10:09:00 PST

memories...

this time last year i went to a surprise birthday party for my father...this was before we received the news that his cancer metastesized (he had just completed a round of chemotherapy and it was look...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Sat, 21 Oct 2006 02:18:00 PST

things behind the sun.....

i havent written a blog in quite some time - especially a blog that is about me as opposed to my struggle with coming to terms with my father's sickness and death...its been a long time coming -- ive ...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:56:00 PST

never say goodbye..

i am so thankful and appreciative of everyone who reads my blogs and takes the time to write to me and focus positive energy on my family..in the past few weeks there have been people who read my birt...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Tue, 14 Mar 2006 01:22:00 PST

fade to in

" i remember walking home with my father from the stationhand in hand, and all alone in silent frustrationand the words he said to me just drifted away in the windlike this memory, like the photograph...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Tue, 07 Feb 2006 01:08:00 PST

birthday wishes

please let my father be well enough to start this experimental treatment and live...please more than anything i want him to live and be happy and love and be loved...the chance for my father to ...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Mon, 09 Jan 2006 08:56:00 PST

a thousand hours....

For how much longer can I howl into this wind?For how much longerCan I cry like this?A thousand wasted hours a dayJust to feel my heart for a secondA thousand hours just thrown awayJust to feel my hea...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Thu, 15 Dec 2005 12:17:00 PST

not sure how to handle this any advice will be greatly appreciated

the results of my father's biopsy scare me - he has a very good possibility that he might (note possibility and might) be in remission in a year..a very very very rigorous and aggressive treatment sta...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Wed, 30 Nov 2005 06:47:00 PST

not ok....

my mother came downstairs she doesnt sleep well these days my father looks like a concentration camp survivor he has an appointment with the oncologist on tuesday (assuming the biopsy results are back...
Posted by how does it feel to feel on Fri, 25 Nov 2005 11:04:00 PST